Nonviolence and Spiritual Values

Thank you very much for your very kind words. I’m really delighted to be back in Kalmykia once more. I had the great honor and privilege to meet and study, just a little bit, with the great Kalmyk Geshe, Geshe Wangyal, in America back in the 1960s – so a long time ago – and this was my start in Tibetan Buddhism, and so I’m always very delighted to come back here to his homeland and to meet his people and to share with them the good fortune that I had to be able to meet with him and spend time with him.

Today I’ve been asked to speak about nonviolence and spiritual values in the modern world. And these are topics which are especially relevant for students like yourself who are planning, as far as I understand, to go into the medical profession and teaching profession, because, as part of your work of helping others, certainly it’s very important on your own sides to help in a nonviolent manner. Helping obviously is the opposite of violence. And having some spiritual values yourself will help you to make your work more meaningful, that it’s not just to make money, but rather it can help you to appreciate the opportunity that you have in your work to actually help people in a meaningful way.

Buddhism has a lot to say about nonviolence, as all religions do, and different systems of course will define what nonviolence means in several different ways. Often we think of violence in terms of a certain type of action, a violent action, and nonviolence means to refrain from that type of behavior. But Buddhism approaches it more from the side of the mind, of our state of mind that is involved. This is because, whether or not we actually enact some sort of violent type of behavior, it all stems from a violent state of mind, doesn’t it? So just refraining from hurting somebody, while in your mind having very violent thoughts to harm them – this certainly will not do. And so it’s important to understand that violent state of mind and learn methods for overcoming it.

Three Types of Violence and Nonviolence

We divide violence, a violent state of mind, into three different types in the Buddhist teachings. And another way perhaps of translating the word violence here is “be cruel.” We’re not just talking about being forceful and strong when we talk about being violent, because sometimes we need to use forceful methods in order to stop someone from causing harm to themselves or to others. If your child is running out into the road and could easily be killed by being hit by a car, you don’t just say, “Oh! Dear, don’t run into the road.” You might have to grab the child quite forcefully. So that’s not what we mean by violence. Violence is wanting to cause harm, and we can cause harm in many different ways. So we have these three types that are mentioned in Buddhism, although I’m sure we can think of more.

Nonviolence toward Others

The first type of violence is thinking in a violent way toward others. It’s defined as a cruel lack of compassion with which we wish to cause mischief or harm to others. Compassion is the wish for others to be free from suffering and problems and the causes of them. And here, instead of wanting others to be free of suffering, we want them to have suffering, we want them to have problems, whether we cause them ourselves or others cause it or it just happens as part of nature. And to help us to overcome that state of mind, we need to think how everybody is equal, in the sense that everybody wants to be happy, nobody wants to be unhappy.

So when somebody causes harm to us, or let’s say you are teaching in class and a student causes harm or is disruptive to others, then rather than just thinking in terms of punishing that person – w hich usually is involved with anger and impatience and other unsettling, uncomfortable states of mind – it is much more helpful to think that this child is, in a sense, sick. The child wants to be happy but doesn’t really have any clear or correct idea of how to become happy and it’s just acting in a very disruptive type of way, in a confused state of mind, thinking that this somehow is going to make them happier. So with that point of view toward the child, we don’t think of the child in terms of being bad and I have to punish the child; we develop compassion instead, the wish that this child got over his or her confusion and problems that are causing them to be so disruptive and naughty in class.

Now that doesn’t mean that we just do nothing, that we are passive. Nonviolence doesn’t mean to be passive and do nothing, but rather it means not getting angry, not wishing harm to this disruptive child. So we obviously have to do something to get the child to stop acting disruptive, whatever methods there are that are acceptable in your school system. But the motivation behind it, the state of mind behind it, is very different from one of wanting to punish this child because the child is bad.

This word “motivation” is very important to understand. It has two aspects. One is our aim or intention, and the other is the emotion that drives us to achieve that aim. The aim is to help the child. That’s why we’re becoming a teacher, for example. Same thing if you’re going into the medical profession: our aim is to help the patient. Now what is the state of mind which is driving us toward achieving that goal? If it is just to make money or to have the other person really thank us and be so grateful to us, that really is a very selfish motive, isn’t it? Self-centered. And because the focus of our thought is mostly on ourselves, we’re not really paying the best attention to what is good for the other person. Like the doctor prescribing that somebody needs surgery when they really don’t need it, but they’re prescribing surgery simply because they will make more money from performing an operation. But rather what we need to be moved by, in order to achieve this aim of helping the other person, is compassion – thinking of the other person, thinking of their welfare, what will be best for them?

Now sometimes in the medical profession, in order to help somebody, we have to use a treatment which might be quite painful: injections, surgery. (Recovering from surgery is painful.) But that’s not a violent method, because the intention here is not to cause pain to the person; the intention is to help them recover from their suffering, from their problem, from their sickness.

So the same thing when you need to discipline a naughty schoolchild: Also the motivation is not to hurt the student. We want to help the student because we realize that this is a human being just like me – wants to be happy, doesn’t want to be unhappy – and perhaps I can teach them and show them a way to be happier in life. And regardless of what profession this child may go into in the future, what will be of benefit is if the person has discipline, if the person knows how to cooperate with others. These are things that will help anybody and everybody in the future.

And discipline means self-control. When the child wants to be naughty, teach the child that the child has to control himself or herself. And so in disciplining the child ourselves, the intention, the aim, is to help them to develop discipline themselves. And if we have that state of mind when we are disciplining the child, then that in a sense communicates to the child very much. It’s like when a parent is disciplining a child; the parent doesn’t generate feelings of hatred for the child, does it?

So this is what I think is import to learn and train in if we’re going into helping professions, like medicine or teaching, which is, inside, to have a loving attitude, a compassionate attitude – t hat you want to help the patients, you want to help the students, to lead happier, better lives, to be free of problems. And on the outside of course be professional, which means being serious and sometimes having to be quite strict. Then we can follow our profession in a nonviolent way in terms of this first meaning of nonviolence.

So instead of a lack of compassion toward others with which we want to cause them harm, we have compassion, the wish for them to be free of harm, free of suffering. And of course it’s very difficult to know really what are the best methods for helping someone. And each child, each patient, is an individual. And so that means that what might work for one person might not necessarily work for another person. And so it’s very important to also respect the individuality of each of the patients as a doctor, each of the students as a teacher. Now that might not be so easy when we have so many patients that we have to see every day and the classrooms are so crowded. But even if it’s not possible to really get to know each person individually, what’s important is again the state of mind, to have the interest to know them. And taking interest in them is based on respecting them. And try to view them with the same type of interest and respect as you would a close friend or a relative – your child, your parent, your brother or sister, or whatever, depending on their age and our age.

I think one of the guidelines that is always very, very helpful to remember is that this person is a human being and has feelings just as I have. They want to be happy, just as I want to be happy, and they want to be liked, just as I want to be liked. And if I have cruel thoughts to them and act in a cruel way, and are very cold toward them, they are going to feel hurt, just as I would feel hurt if somebody acted that way toward me. So this mind of respecting others is very, very important as an individual person.

Nonviolence toward Ourselves

The second type of nonviolence is a little bit connected to the one we’ve just been explaining, because here we’re talking about nonviolence directed toward ourselves (the first type is directed toward others). And here we’re talking about not being self-destructive. When we are self-destructive, this is a lack of self-love with which we wish to cause mischief or harm to ourselves. And this could be either intentional or unintentional causing harm to ourselves. For instance, with thoughts like: “I’m bad,” “I’m no good,” “I’m not good enough.”

Particularly if we are a doctor and one of our patients dies, which inevitably is going to happen, thinking, “Oh, I’m such a terrible doctor. I’m so bad,” and then feeling guilty and punishing ourselves in one way or another, usually quite psychological and emotional, because we couldn’t help somebody – they died. These are things that we really need to be prepared for if we’re going to become a doctor or a teacher. We’re not a Buddha; we can’t help everybody – even Buddha couldn’t help everybody. And so naturally sometimes we will fail. Either we won’t be able to cure a patient, or we really won’t be able to teach a child. But that’s just the nature of reality. In order for somebody to be helped, they have to be receptive on their side. Some sicknesses we just can’t cure, and even if it might be possible, sometimes we make mistakes; we’re human after all. And some students have serious emotional, social problems, whatever – family problems – and it’s beyond our capacity to be able to really help them.

So we have to watch out for ways in which we could be self-destructive; in other words, being violent toward ourselves. Ways of being self-destructive, for instance, are pushing ourselves too hard, thinking, “I have to be absolutely perfect,” when that’s really impossible. Of course we try to be as good as possible in what we’re doing, but nobody is perfect. And so of course if we are unsuccessful in something or another, sure we regret that – we want to be able to do better in the future – but we really need to work hard not to get into a terrible depression because of that, because being depressed will just harm our work, harm our effectiveness in our job.

Now you might say, “How can I prevent myself from getting depressed or feeling very, very hurt, actually” – you know, when you have a student and the student was doing well, but then the student left school for some reason. Naturally it’s sad, but the point is not to get depressed. And so then the question is: How can we help ourselves not to get depressed? And this comes back to what we were saying in terms of dealing with others. In order to really want to help others and not harm them, one of the most important things is respect for them, so similarly we need to have respect for ourselves. It’s important to always reaffirm that: “I have abilities; otherwise I couldn’t have become a teacher or a doctor.” We reaffirm our motivation that: “In doing the work that I’m doing, I have a good intention.” And “As a human being I’m not perfect; nevertheless, I respect myself for trying my best.” And that helps us not to get all depressed.

Now what happens when we examine ourselves honestly and we discover that I wasn’t really trying my best? I could have done better. Well, in that situation, sure we feel regret, and it’s important to reaffirm that: “In the future, I’m going to try harder.” But in order to prevent, or try to prevent, this failure of not trying our best from recurring, we need to examine what were the causes for this. It could have been because I was just too tired. And for that, again we need to be kind to ourselves, not self-destructive. We need to know what are our needs in terms of rest – what are my limits? – and again respect them. Don’t feel bad about it. Everybody has their limits. Of course in an emergency we can always do more, but not everything is an emergency. And sometimes we just have to say, “I need a rest,” and then try to take that rest, if it’s possible – sometimes it might not be possible – but if it is possible, to take that rest without feeling guilty.

Now of course that’s not always easy if we’re trying to balance a profession together with raising a family. Children have great needs, our own children. But this needs to be a priority, of how we can arrange our schedule and so on, so that I’m not overworked, overtired, and then I’m not doing a good job with anything. And not just let it go on and on and on till it reaches a point where we have a breakdown. Because ignoring our needs is really being violent to ourselves. And so non-violence toward ourselves is very, very important.

Not Taking Pleasure in the Misfortune of Others

The third type of nonviolence is not taking pleasure in others’ misfortune. In other words, it’s considered cruel – if we think of violence in terms of a cruel state of mind – it’s a cruel state of mind to rejoice in others’ difficulties; in other words, when somebody fails. Now we might think, “ Well, this is not something that I really do.” But if you think of the example of politics, then if there are two candidates and one that you don’t like loses their office – loses the election or gets kicked out – we’re very happy about that. We rejoice in their misfortune, don’t we? And likewise in this type of situation, although we might be happy that the one we think is best has gotten into office, so we rejoice in their happiness, but there’s no reason to rejoice in the other person’s loss, because they undoubtedly have a family, they have others who are dependent on them, and they’r e experiencing unhappiness – they’re human beings too. So I’m happy that they’re not in office, but I also wish them happiness in life. I don’t wish them ill (wish them bad things).

So we’ve seen that these three types of nonviolence counter three types of cruel thinking, cruel thoughts:

  • Lack of compassion – wanting others to have misery and suffering
  • Having no self-love – wanting to cause harm to ourselves, either consciously or unconsciously.
  • Joy in other's misfortune – rejoicing when somebody else fails or something terrible happens to them.

And as I said, the type of actions that we do make these strong without being violent. There’s a classic example in one of the Buddhist sutras. There were two meditators sitting by the side of the river. And a man came to the river – and this was a river which had a very, very strong current – and the man wanted to jump in and try to swim across. And this is a type of river that nobody could really swim across; anybody who tried would surely drown. So one meditator just sat there with a very peaceful look on his face and was quite willing to do nothing and let this person jump into the river and surely drown. And the other meditator got up and couldn’t convince the person to not go into the river, and so he punched the person unconscious to stop him from going into the river. And Buddha saw all of this (Buddha came along and he saw all of this) and he said that the meditator that sat there peacefully with a smile on his face, that was the one that committed the violent act. Punching this person to prevent them from hurting themselves, that was the nonviolent act. Why? Because of the motivation, the state of mind – wanting to help this person avoid suffering and inevitably getting drowned.

Spiritual Values

Now all of this connects with the second part of our topic for this morning, which is spiritual values in the modern world. This word “spiritual” is a difficult word to actually define, and obviously it has a different connotation, or undoubtedly it has a different connotation, in English and in Russian. But let’s look at the way that it is defined, or what would be the equivalent word, in a Buddhist context. And in Buddhism we speak of the Dharma. And “Dharma” means a preventive measure; it’s something that we do in order to avoid suffering and problems. And this is not just thinking in terms of immediate situations – like you’re driving a car or riding a bicycle, and in order to avoid hitting something, you swerve to the side. That wouldn’t be Dharma.

So we’re not talking about just the immediate day-to-day things that we do. We wouldn’t call that spiritual. But rather it is thinking in terms of wanting to prevent something in the future. And in most religions, Buddhism included, this is thinking in terms of future lives, and in some other religions it’s thinking of the afterlife, which means not having our main concern just being with material success in this lifetime, because at the time of death all of that’s left behind, and this lifetime is very short compared to the enormous amount of time in the future.

Now this is very fine if we believe in future rebirths or afterlife, but many of us might not believe in that. So can we still be spiritual people? And I think that we definitely can if we think not just in terms of our material welfare in this lifetime, for me personally and perhaps for my family, but if we think in a much longer range of time – for instance, future generations. In other words, try to make the world a better place with whatever type of contribution we might be able to make, even if it’s very small. Again an example used by Buddha – that a big bag of rice is filled by every individual grain of rice. So some of us might be able to contribute to that bag a whole handful of rice and some might only be able to contribute one grain of rice, but each of those two people are contributing. That’s the point. And even if we find that we can’t really contribute too much, at least we try.

So with you training to become teachers or medical workers, then obviously this is a great opportunity to think in terms of making a contribution to making this a better world. As teachers, you’re training people who will go on into the future and hopefully make their own contributions. As doctors, you’re helping to cure sick people so that they can continue to make their contribution to the future. So that ties in very well with wanting them to be happy, not to be unhappy. So not having any violent or cruel thoughts toward them, and also respecting them. We respect ourselves in terms of “I can make a contribution to the future,” and we respect our patients, our students, in terms of “They can also make a contribution.” And what does a contribution mean? What does it mean to make the world a better place? It means basically to promote some sort of means for people to be happier. And being happier doesn’t mean simply on the material level, although that’s important, but also to have peace of mind, to be able to use not only technical skills but also emotional skills to deal with whatever comes up in life.

So these are what I would consider spiritual values; in other words, what do we consider as important in our life and in terms of what we’re doing with our lives. In short, I think it’s very important, especially as young persons like yourselves, to really think very seriously about motivation. Why am I studying what I’m studying? What do I want to accomplish in life? What do I want to accomplish for my family in the future? What do I want to eventually leave behind for the future – future generations? And why do I want this? This might take quite a lot of inner searching, but this is a very worthwhile thing to do. And we might find that our answers to these questions are not very satisfactory. And I think that the criterion that we need to use for deciding “Do I want to try to correct my motivation or not?” is to see whether or not what I’m doing will bring happiness to myself and to others, or will it just create problems? And in terms of evaluating this, long-term effects are far more important than just short-term immediate effects. But if we are clear about what we are doing in life, and we see that we are going in a good direction in our life, this gives us a very wonderful sense of well-being and satisfaction.

I think one of the factors that sometimes makes people depressed is that they find that their life has no meaning, no direction. We’re pursuing a profession, but our heart is not in it. And we feel that the problems of the world, the problems of my country, the problems of my district, the problems of my family, myself – all of these are just too terrible, too much. And so what meaning does it all have, to lead a life with that state of mind? It’s really very sad; it’s not a very happy life. And so again it requires respect for ourselves in order to try to overcome this feeling of despair. We need to reaffirm that “Regardless of the external situations, I do have the ability to improve myself and become a better human being.” And this is very important not only for making myself a happier person – acknowledging this – but also my whole state of mind will affect everybody around me. And so working to help others medically or pedagogically… this is a meaningful thing to do. We don’t know what the future will be, but we know that if people are in good health, if people are educated, then there’s hope, hope that things will hopefully get better. Maybe that’s hard to imagine. But even if there are more difficulties in the future, we can help people to be better prepared to deal with them.