Ignorance: The First of the 12 Links

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Unawareness of How Persons Exist 

Now, it’s very significant that the first link is about unawareness of how persons exist – both ourselves and everyone else. It’s not, however, unawareness about how phenomena exist in general. Even if we follow the tenet system that says that to really gain liberation, we have to understand that the impossible way that all phenomena exist and the impossible way that persons exist that you have to get rid of to achieve liberation is the same, even if we follow that system, still, the emphasis here is on getting rid of the unawareness of persons. This has very big implications in terms of our application of the Buddhist teachings. 

The real problem, and what we need to focus on in order to gain liberation, is not our attachment to our car, computer, chocolate, or something like that. The problem is our attachment to “me”: “I always have to have what ‘I’ want,” and my attachment to “you,” that “You always have to do what I want ‘you’ to do.” Even when we’re thinking in terms of the problem that we have with our attachment to our computer, car, chocolate, etc., the emphasis here is not on the car or the computer; the emphasis is on “me” as some solid thing that possesses these things; it’s the belief that “I’m so solid that I can possess things.” 

This becomes very interesting and very important when dealing with daily problems. Let’s say we’re trying to do a lot of meditation and externally there is a lot of noise. How do we approach that? We could do all sorts of fancy meditations on deconstructing the sound, “It’s just the vibration of air,” and all this sort of stuff, thinking, “The perception of it is just a wave on the ocean of the mind.” There are lots of methods we could use, “This is an obstacle sent by the demon Mara and I will make this little torma cake and send it off to Mara and tell it to stop annoying me.” We can use that sort of approach. However, what is the real problem here? It is this concept of a solid “me” that should always have the conducive circumstances and that “I should be in control of what’s going on around ‘me.’” That’s the problem. Because even if we deconstruct the sound from its own side, we’re still left with a very strong “me” that is a little bit uptight, waiting for the next obstacle to come up. There’s still this solid “me.” This is a very helpful point here that helps us to deal with various problems. 

Let me share an example from my own experience. A couple of years ago a cafe moved in on the ground floor of the apartment building that I live in. This cafe is extremely popular and it’s open seven days a week from seven in the morning till three the next morning. When the weather is warm, there are tables outside, directly underneath all my windows, and people drink and are loud till very early in the morning. It’s not so much of a problem when I’m working during the day; I can deal with noise then, but the problem is falling asleep. 

I could lie in bed and curse the people who are sitting outside enjoying themselves, drinking lots of beer, being loud and laughing. I could say, “Well, this is only sound and so what?” However, that doesn’t help me to fall asleep. I think we would have to be super-super-advanced for that to have some effect. I could move, but there’s absolutely no guarantee that where I move will be any quieter. All we need is one neighbor who is fond of techno music late at night and that’s the end of our peaceful atmosphere. 

We have to work on deconstructing the “me,” that “I have to have it the way ‘I’ want it,” and “I’m more important than all these people and what I’m doing, meditating and working on my website and doing all these things, is so much more important than these silly people outside who are just drinking and having what they consider a good time.” However, if one works on trying to deconstruct this big solid “me,” then we see, “Well, there are millions and billions of people and everybody is acting under the influences of causes and conditions, and so am I. There’s nothing special about me or about them, or anything like that.” 

What do we expect? The famous line, “What do you expect from samsara?” Now, on that basis, if we apply the teaching from lojong mind training or attitude training of “give the victory to the others, accept the defeat onto yourself,” then that works quite well. In the summer months, I move my mattress into the kitchen, which doesn’t face the street. It’s the only quiet room in the house. I sleep on the kitchen floor for the summer, which is perfectly fine. 

Nevertheless, if we just simply give the victory to the others and move into the kitchen without doing the work on trying to deconstruct this big solid “me,” then we’re lying in the kitchen thinking, “Oh, I’m so clever and those terrible people are out there drinking and being noisy.” We’re still holding on to a solid “me.” Although it helps, we haven’t really gone deep enough to really start working on the cause of the problem. 

This is just an example. I’m chuckling because before applying any method, when we’re lying in bed, then we think of all sorts of things from the medieval days, “I should have a big pot of boiling tar that I can pour down,” this sort of medieval approach that is obviously not the greatest solution either. However, those thoughts go through our head. 

Put the Emphasis on Deconstructing a Solid “Me” 

We have unawareness about how persons exist, both ourselves and others. Again, although it specifically refers to both ourselves and others, I think the emphasis needs to be first on ourselves. Think about it from our own experience and try to apply these teachings. For example, when somebody is not very nice to us or they don’t pay attention to us or they ignore us, or they say or do something that we don’t like and so on, we get very angry, “Oh, you did this and I’m very disappointed with you,” and all this sort of stuff. 

Then, when we’re upset with the other person, we could ask, “Well, who’s the person? Where’s the person? Are they the mind, the body, etc.? They’re just imputed on all these aggregates. Basically, everything that they’re doing and have done is influenced by so many circumstances and causes, such as their karma, their family, and so on.” In a sense, we deconstruct the other person, “What am I angry with?” This definitely helps. There’s no question about it. However, if we haven’t applied that analysis to ourselves, then there’s still the solid “me” inside, “Well, I’ve deconstructed this situation and so I’m not angry.” 

Nevertheless, there’s still the “me” that thinks, “I want to have my friends act the way that I want them to act,” and so we’ve set ourselves up to get angry at the next situation and the next person. It’s very interesting because it’s much less threatening to deconstruct the other person than it is to deconstruct ourselves, isn’t it? So, “OK, I’ll deconstruct ‘you,’ but here ‘I’ am,” thinking, “Everybody should love ‘me,’ and everybody should pay attention to ‘me’ and appreciate ‘me,’ and ‘I’ should always get ‘my’ way.” We’ve left ourselves as the center of the universe, and we’re just deconstructing some of the things around us. 

Overcoming Resistance from the Ego 

Even though it says here that the unawareness link is unawareness of how persons exist, both ourselves and others, we need to start with ourselves. We have to deal with the fact that it is painful, it’s threatening, and our habit of grasping for a solid “me” and our habit of selfishness and self-cherishing is going to put up resistance. Resistance will arise; it’s not as though they’re sitting in there as some heavy force and they’re going to send out this resistance. Still, the resistance is going to be there; although we need compassion for ourselves, nevertheless, we also need very strong force. 

For instance, the mind training text called The Wheel of Sharp Weapons calls on this very strong force of Yamantaka. That’s the representation of the forceful aspect of discriminating awareness, or wisdom, part of Buddha-nature; we have to call on this great strength within us to smash through this resistance. Yamantaka is the forceful aspect of Manjushri. Watch out for translations that call these types of figures “wrathful, angry deities” because then again that brings in a judgmental aspect: they’re angry with us and, “I’m angry with myself,” and so on; that’s not at all the flavor here. 

The flavor is just “strong and forceful,” and we are quite capable of being strong and forceful with ourselves. For instance, we might not want to get up in the morning but we have this alarm clock, which is truly is an invention of Mara; we can press the snooze button but it will go off again in five minutes. We keep on pressing it and pressing it and eventually we have to be forceful with ourselves to get up out of bed and go to work. We are capable of being forceful with ourselves. Otherwise, we would just lie there forever pressing the button every five minutes. 

Doctrinally Based Unawareness 

Next, let’s discuss unawareness about how persons exist, how we exist. There are two levels of this. There is the doctrinally based unawareness and the automatically arising unawareness. Doctrinally based is something that we’ve been taught and accepted. Specifically, this refers to having been taught and believed an explanation from one of the non-Buddhist Indian tenet systems of how the self or soul – the “atman” – exists. It’s the belief that this is actually who we are. This soul has a fixed set of characteristics. Even if no one has taught us any of these Indian theories of the self in this lifetime, we could come up with this view in on our own cogitations, based on instincts for thinking this way built up from learning and believing these theories in some previous lifetime. Because Buddhism and all these other Indian systems assert beginningless lifetimes and all these theories have been taught forever, age after age, everyone has this doctrinally based unawareness. However, it might not manifest in this lifetime, for instance, during a lifetime when we’ve been reborn as an insect. 

When we identify with this atman, “That is who I really am,” then based on that, we get all sorts of so-called “doctrinally-based disturbing emotions.” This is the “me” that we feel is ourselves when we are selfish, greedy, angry, jealous, arrogant and so on. 

Even though many of our Western religions – the Abrahamic religions of Judaism, Christianity and Islam – do assert a soul and a lot of the characteristics of the soul sound quite similar to what’s asserted by these Hindu and Jain systems in India, the Buddhist commentaries are quite insistent that this doctrinally based unawareness specifically refers to the whole package that we get in these non-Buddhist Indian systems. However, understanding that the Indian assertions of an atman do not refer to anything real can, of course, help us to overcome our belief in some of the non-Indian assertions of a soul that have similar points; however, they’re not unrelated. 

The Three Characteristics of an Atman 

What exactly is this description of an atman, of a soul? It has three characteristics and these three all describe the same thing – an atman – so in many ways, they overlap each other. 

The first characteristic is usually translated as “permanent.” However, that’s very misleading. One has to understand that we’re not talking about “eternal,” “forever.” Buddhism says that the conventional “me” is eternal: it has no beginning and no end, so that’s not the problem. The problem is asserting permanence in the sense of being “static,” “never changing,” “unaffected by anything,” or that “nothing affects ‘me.’” 

For example, once during the monsoon rain in India, I fell on slippery concrete and cracked some ribs. In this situation, we could dissociate and say, “Well, that’s not affecting ‘me,’” there’s a “me” inside, and “I’m not affected by that.” Then, we could further dissociate and say, “I don’t really want to go on this trip of now having cracked ribs, especially with the whole recovery and so on.” Here, we feel that there’s a “me” that’s not affected by this. 

Recently, I heard a description of what it was like to be in the Soviet army. You have all these horrible things that are happening to you, to your body and psychologically; however, to protect yourself you feel, “Well, there’s a ‘me’ inside that’s not affected by this. This is just external,” and so you have some wall, some emotional wall that you put up, thinking, “All of this is happening, but it’s not really affecting ‘me.’” This is the idea here. 

The second characteristic is usually translated as “one.” We could understand it to be similar to something being static, which means that it’s always the same, no matter what. For example, “I went to sleep last night and here I am in the morning, the same ‘me.’ I’m back again, the same ‘me.’” However, the actual explanation of this characteristic is that it is a partless monolith, meaning the atman has no parts. It’s a monolith that is either the size of the universe, like atman is brahman, so this is a big undifferentiated monolithic thing, or in some of the theories, it’s a tiny little spark, like a spark of life. That’s the partless atman, partless “me.” 

Now, we start to get a little bit of the flavor that this is really something that someone had to teach us, that we have a soul that is the size of the universe, a partless monolith that never changes, and our individuality and so on is just an illusion – this is maya

The third characteristic is that this atman is something that is totally independent of aggregates, of a body and mind, which means that it’s like something that goes into a body and mind and then comes out and goes into another one. However, in its own state, by itself, it’s completely dissociated from any sort of basis, a body and mind. Usually when they say we’re liberated, then it just exists like that, totally without any body or mind. 

The Samkhya system says that an atman with these characteristics of being “unaffected by anything,” “a partless monolith,” and “independent,” has a quality of awareness from its own side. The Nyaya and Vaisheshika systems say that it doesn’t have the quality of awareness, but when it comes into a body, it connects to a brain and a mind and then it’s aware of things. However, there are many logical problems, inconsistencies, contradictions, and so on that follow from these types of assertions of an atman – that that’s who we are. 

It’s important to not just think as Westerners, “Well, these stupid Indians believe like this,” and “OK, it’s interesting to refute this, but what does that have to do with ‘me’ and my emotional setup, my profile?” However, as I said, although we had to be doctrinally taught the whole system, we do have certain aspects of these beliefs if we really look into it – like, for instance, that there’s a “me” that’s totally independent of a body and mind. The example that His Holiness the Dalai Lama uses is that we see somebody else and think, “I wish I could change bodies with you,” or, “I wish I had your intelligence,” as if somehow this “me” could leave this body and mind and now be “you.” 

More relevant is that when we receive all these teachings about the clear light mind and “it’s pure with no beginning” and stuff like that, then it’s very easy to misconceive that clear light mind, that continuum, to exist like a Hindu atman. Of course, Buddhism says it’s eternal, so we think, “Well, it never changes. Its stainless nature never changes.” Well, sure the stainless nature never changes, but it has a different object each moment. It changes from moment to moment, but we think, “It never changes, is not affected by anything, doesn’t have any parts and it goes into one body after another.” 

“Hey, this is Hindu atman. Even as a Buddha, my enlightened clear light mind will go into a body, this thing made of elements and so on, and then operate it as an emanation.” This is a misconception and one that is very easy to fall into, especially if we haven’t really worked on the refutation of this doctrinally based false “me,” this atman. Watch out for that. A lot of people fall into this misconception. 

The Self Is Imputed on the Aggregates 

What does Buddhism say? What Buddhism – all traditions, schools, Hinayana, Mahayana, India, Tibet, whatever – says is that there is a conventional “me,” a self, a person, but it is something that is imputed on the aggregates. We have to understand what that means. Although it may be difficult to express the word “imputation” in some languages – and even in English, it doesn’t convey the meaning clearly – it’s certainly not the same as “projection.” “Projection” gives the connotation that it’s false and that it’s made up by the mind; however, this is not false. An imputed phenomenon is something that is tied or bound to something else. It is dependent on the other phenomenon as its basis for existence and for being validly knowable. 

An example of an imputed phenomenon is motion. What’s motion? When we look at our hand, all we can see is one nanosecond at a time. In this nanosecond, we see our hand here; in the next nanosecond, the hand is now here; in the next nanoseconds, it’s there, there, there, there and there. What’s motion? Motion is something imputed onto this series of perceptions. We don’t see motion all at once in one moment, do we? However, we do see motion. It’s not just a projection of fantasy; motion isn’t just an object of conceptual cognition. This is what we’re talking about here. There is motion, isn’t there? We don’t just think there is motion, we can see it. 

Likewise, we have a series of moments, nanoseconds, that are made up of the aggregates, these factors of experience. The perception and objects perceived – body, emotions, and all these sorts of things – are made up of all these different parts, moment to moment. Just as motion is something imputed on this sequence of a hand being in different positions over several nanoseconds, likewise “me” is something imputed on this sequence of moments of experience made up of the aggregates. “Me” is not just some concept or something just known by conceptual thought; we can see ourselves and others can also see us. 

Each moment of experience, of course, is generated by a karmic cause and effect sequence of what came before. However, it’s not existing in isolation because what’s perceived is also affected by what everybody else is doing, what’s happening with everybody else in the universe, etc. That “me” or person imputed onto these aggregates is not the aggregates themselves, just like the motion imputed on a hand in consecutive different positions is not the hand itself. Both motion and the self are imputed phenomena and cannot exist or be known separately from what they are imputed on, namely their basis for imputation – the hand in different consecutive positions and the aggregates comprising consecutive moments of experience. 

We’re not our body. If we were our body, then if we lost our hand, is it no longer us? No, it can’t be like that. Also, we’re not our mind. As we grow older and lose parts of our memory, would that mean it’s no longer us? No, it’s not like that. “Me” is not identical to any of the aggregates, the body or the mind or any of its parts, and it’s not something separate and completely independent from it. We don’t experience, “The body is cold, but I’m not cold,” “The stomach is hungry, but I’m not hungry.” We don’t experience things like that. 

The “me” isn’t always the same. It has parts. It’s something imputed not just on consciousness, but also simultaneously on the body, the emotions, the physical sensations, and so on. The “me” has parts, it’s affected by things, and so on. It’s not separate. It’s not identical to the aggregates and it can’t possibly exist separately from any aggregates like, “After I die there is just ‘me’ with no basis of a mind or a body or anything like that.” 

Each Buddhist system says that the “me” is something imputed on what continues from lifetime to lifetime. The anuttarayoga tantra systems, for example, explain that it is something imputed on the clear light mind inseparable from the subtlest energy-wind. However, the “me” isn’t identical to either of them; they are the basis for the imputation of “me.” There’s always a basis, and there’s always some aspect of mind and body. No matter which Buddhist system we look at, it asserts that the “me” is always something that is imputed on a continuity, an everlasting continuum, with no beginning, no end, and that it cannot exist or be known separately from a basis for imputation. That’s the Buddhist view. 

The “Me” Is Not Something Inhabiting Our Body and Mind 

There are further qualities of this doctrinally based “me,” this false “me.” We imagine that there’s this entity, “me,” an atman, that somehow comes into a body and mind and lives there. There’s a feeling that this is the home of the atman, this body and mind, and it possesses it – like we possess a house or a car and go into it – and that it uses it, makes use of it to walk here and there, to pick up things, to communicate and so on. That’s the larger package here of the misconception. We often tend to think like that, don’t we? 

Many people experience terrible pain, for instance, when they have terminal cancer or even just experiencing extreme old age. I have an aunt who is 95 and an uncle who is 96 and they often complain, “I feel like I’m trapped inside the prison of this body.” For them, the body is a prison with this pain and old age. When we’re really old, we can’t even walk. We can’t even do anything. We can’t even read because our eyes are no good and this is a prison. The conception is that the “me” is living inside this house-like body, which has now become a prison and can somehow get out and exist by itself. 

Nonetheless, this is a misconception. We can have all sorts of disturbing emotions based on believing that, “This is ‘me.’” “This is ‘my’ body. ‘I’ am the possessor of a body.” “‘I’ am the possessor of this space around ‘me,’ or don’t violate ‘my’ space.” There are so many disturbing emotions that can come up, not just, “Let’s go out and make a religious war based on this belief.” 

Examining These Misconceptions about “Me” 

What we need to do then is to examine this type of misconception with logic, to see if this is logically consistent, self-contradictory, and so on. We need to realize that this is impossible: nobody, nothing could exist with these characteristics. The more that we are convinced that there’s no such thing, eventually we stop believing in it. However, this doesn’t happen immediately. It’s a long process. Basically, we don’t want to believe that there’s no such thing. 

A good example is when we can’t find our keys and we look everywhere they could possibly be and they’re not there. However, we really don’t want to accept that we’ve lost our keys, so we look again and again and again. It takes a while before we give up and accept the fact that, “I’ve lost my keys. I’m locked out of the house.” 

We have to know, nonetheless, what our keys are in order to know that, “I don’t have them,” don’t we? It’s like in order to know “not an apple,” we have to know “apple.” “This is not an apple.” How do we know that this thing here, which is a glass, is not an apple? If we didn’t know what an apple was, how could we possibly think that this is not an apple? 

In order to really work on and get rid of this unawareness, we have to recognize what is this misconception. Only once we’ve recognized it, and not just recognized it in some theoretical way, but recognized it ourselves, at least some remnants of it, then it is much more significant when we realize that, “There is no such thing.” 

As I said, one needs to really work for quite a long time on this. It’s not so easy. However, this refutation through analysis is very important. Let me use an example, it’s not exactly analogous, but often we think, “Nobody loves ‘me.’” Well, if we analyze “nobody loves ‘me,’” that means “including my dog, including my mother, including my entire life there had to be absolutely nobody who loved ‘me.’” Well, this is ridiculous. It’s hardly likely that there’s anybody that has experienced that. 

The more we focus on that, although it might feel like “Nobody loves ‘me,’” we understand that this is not so, “That doesn’t correspond to anything real.” The problem is that we think, “Well, it doesn’t count that my dog loves me and my mother loves me. I want ‘you’ to love ‘me!’” Then, we have to work on this false concept of the solid “you” and the solid “me.” It’s interesting how our mind works, isn’t it? 

OK, so that’s the doctrinally based unawareness and it’s actually this link that we have to understand the most deeply because it’s what we really have to get rid of. Then, the whole thing falls apart. However, just getting rid of this doctrinally based unawareness is certainly not enough to bring liberation. We have to get rid of the automatically arising one that even dogs have, that everybody has. First, we have to get rid of all the garbage that we’re believing in based on indoctrination. Once we get rid of that, then we can start working on subtler levels. 

I think many of us might know this from our own experience. If we’ve been brainwashed with propaganda – and this could happen in any culture, any situation – first, we have to clear our mind of this and acknowledge, “This is absolute garbage,” before we can deal with more universally common, shared human problems. It doesn’t help to think, “How stupid I was to have believed that propaganda.” That doesn’t help, but in a very emotionally nonjudgmental way we realize, “Well, this was garbage; now let’s clear that out and go ahead.” 

The important thing, of course, is that although it’s not definitional doctrinally based unawareness, to try not to come under the influence of all sorts of propaganda schemes. For instance, modern advertising that “If you buy this, then all the girls will love you,” this type of nonsense. That just encourages desire, greed and attachment. The kind of car that we drive makes us more or less sexy? This is absurd. 

Next, is the discussion of the automatically arising form of unawareness. This is the real one that we have to get rid of in order to gain liberation. However, as I said and I underline this: We can’t just work on the automatically arising one without first having worked on this doctrinally based one. Within the Buddhist context, the reason is that without dealing with this doctrinally based one, it is too easy to make the clear light mind, for instance, into a Hindu atman – and so many people fall into this trap. We need to be careful and deal with this. 

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