Traditional Stories: Teachers, Human Rebirth & Death

Healthy Relationships with Spiritual Teachers

It is very important for the disciple to examine and check the lama very carefully before studying with him. Don’t go just because a famous teaching is being given. You have to examine the lama very carefully. It is said in a text that it takes about twelve years for the master and disciple to check each other to see whether they can establish a proper relationship. Although this is the case, that is actually a very long time, and there are many shortcomings in taking so long.

There is the example of a great Sakya master who was invited to China to teach the emperor. The emperor examined him for a period of nine years before finally deciding to study with him. After the nine years, he asked him to teach. When the master asked him, “Why did you wait nine years before asking for teachings?” the emperor said, “I was checking you this whole time.” The master replied, “Now I will take another nine years to examine you!” In fact, it turned out that he was never able to teach the emperor. If you wait too long, that can happen.

As for how to examine a lama these days, the first point can be made with these two questions: What type of feeling did you get when you first met the master? Did your mind immediately become very happy, or did nothing happen at all? Also, when you just heard the name of the master for the first time, did it make you feel happy, or not? The second point is when you first went to meet the master, was he actually there, or not? Sometimes, when people go for the first time to meet a master, the master is not at home. That is not a very auspicious sign. The third point is to listen to what others say about the spiritual master, and hear various opinions. Even though it is difficult for spiritual masters to have all the proper qualifications, the main points are that they need to have a very warm and kind heart, a very intense loving concern for everyone, and they need to be honest.

It is very important to make a proper examination of the spiritual master or lama before going to study with them. Don’t just get excited when you hear that some lama is coming, and go without giving it any thought. That is not at all proper. But once you have committed yourself wholeheartedly to a spiritual master, it is no longer the proper time to have doubts and check up on him or her.

In the past, translators and people from Tibet, like the great translator Marpa, went through a great many difficulties to gather gold to travel to India and meet spiritual masters. Milarepa, who studied with Marpa, had to build a nine-story tower by himself, by hand. He carried the rocks on his back, and developed terrible sores. He experienced a great deal of pain. Even after he built the tower, Marpa would not give him any initiations or teachings. Marpa had another disciple called Ngog Choku Dorje (rNgog Chos-sku rdo-rje) who had requested Chakrasamvara initiation. He lived about one day’s horse ride away. When the tower was finished, Marpa’s wife Dagmema (bDag-med-ma) gave birth to a son named Darma Dode (Dar-ma mdo-sde). In celebration of the birth of his son, as well as a celebration of Milarepa’s finishing the nine-story tower, Marpa sent a message to Ngog Choku Dorje saying that he was going to give a Chakrasamvara initiation, and that he needed to come for that.

When Ngog Choku Dorje arrived, he brought everything that he owned as an offering to Marpa. Among his possessions, he had a goat that had broken its leg and couldn’t walk. He left it behind. Marpa said, “What’s the matter? You didn’t bring the other goat? I went through such terrible trouble to go to India three times to get these teachings, and this is a very precious initiation. You’ll have to go back and get the goat.” When Marpa gave the initiation of Chakrasamvara, Marpa’s wife Dagmema took pity on Milarepa and brought him in for the empowerment. Marpa took a big stick and chased Milarepa out while scolding him, and would not allow him to receive the initiation. Marpa’s wife kept asking Marpa to let Milarepa stay and receive the initiation.

Marpa finally agreed to give the initiation to Milarepa, because of the compassion that he had for his wife. The reason Milarepa met with such obstacles was that Marpa had achieved enlightenment by means of having undergone a tremendous amount of difficulty to study with Naropa in India, and Naropa had undergone a tremendous amount of difficulty and hardship to study with his teacher, Tilopa. Enlightenment doesn’t come easily. To reach the same attainments, Milarepa would have to undergo difficulties too.

Marpa said, “While Milarepa is serving me, I am always very wrathful and forceful with him. But, as a result of serving me, he will be able to achieve enlightenment in this very lifetime. Already he has done such difficult things as building the tower.” But Marpa did take pity on his wife, who was showing so much compassion for Milarepa, and he allowed him to receive the initiation. After the initiation, Milarepa had to go off and do a tremendous amount of meditation and practice in order to achieve enlightenment in his very lifetime. But, on the basis of his being a very faithful servant to Marpa, he was able to achieve enlightenment – but even then, still having to undergo the hardships of meditating in caves.

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