LPA13: Keeping Motivation throughout Meditation Sessions

Last time, we used the example of bodhichitta to see how we would apply all of this. And — again, to review that, since that was rather complicated — when we... Well, what do people remember? How do you meditate on bodhichitta? What would you start with?

Participant: The aspects.

Dr. Berzin: What aspects are we talking about? 

Participant: What is the basis for it.

Dr. Berzin: What is the basis for it? Can you explain? 

Participant: You start with renunciation again, and then complete equanimity.

Dr. Berzin: Right. Very good. This is — what we’re talking about here — what Tsongkhapa calls the causes. The causes. That’s what we would start with. What are the causes? How do we want to work ourselves up to the bodhichitta motivation? Renunciation: we think of our own sufferings, how we don’t want to experience that. And then equanimity to overcome attraction, repulsion, indifference towards others. Then, if we want to use the sequence of the seven-part cause and effect (rgyu-’bras man-ngag bdun): 

1. Everybody has been our mother in previous lifetimes (mar-shes, mother-awareness). That helps us to see the interconnection of the various mental continuums. 
2. Kindness when they’ve been a mother (drin-dran, remembering kindness).
3. Appreciation of that, wanting to pay that back (drin-gso, repaying kindness). All of that leads to a heartwarming love (yid-’ong byams-pa), that when we think of others, we get this cherishing feeling that “How terrible it would be if anything bad happened to them,” etc.
4. Then love (byams-pa), the wish for them to be happy.
5. Compassion (snying-rje), the wish for them to be free of suffering and its causes.
6. Then taking the universal responsibility (lhag-bsam, exceptional resolve) to actually lead them to enlightenment.
7. Then seeing the need to become a Buddha in order to be able to do that (sems-bskyed, developing the bodhichitta aim).

That sequence is very important. What happens when we leave out that sequence? What happens is that then you just aim for enlightenment but there’s no love and compassion behind that, and so it very easily degenerates into just aiming for the best — “Because I want the best.” Rather than having two intentions, which is the intention to achieve that enlightenment and the intention to benefit everybody by means of that, we only have the first intention, just to achieve it, and we forget about wanting to benefit others. Or if we remind ourselves of it, there’s no feeling behind it; it sort of becomes an obligation or a duty. That love and compassion aspect, all these steps (the causes that Tsongkhapa refers to), are very important as a way to start bodhichitta meditation. 

OK. Then what? Now, what you have to also remember is that you can keep that love and compassion as a sort of a background feeling that’s there. It’s not as though you totally forget it. It’s sort of an underlying feeling. That’s not so easy to really comprehend how that works. But it’s sort of like if we are focused — not exactly the same but a little bit similar — if we are listening to music, we also are seeing the wall. I mean, it’s not that we’re not seeing the wall. Various things are going on at the same time. 

Now, this isn’t the same in terms of different mental states. That was with senses. But we can have different mental states. You can even have single-minded concentration (ting-nge-’dzin, Skt. samadhi, absorbed concentration) with other mental states going on at the same time — love and compassion. That’s a very interesting point. It isn’t that when you have single-minded concentration that you get rid of all the other mental factors — they’re there as well — but you’re focusing on an object. That, I think, in order to appreciate what that’s talking about, you have to experience it to know that that is actually possible. Of course, the mental factors that go together in one moment will have to be harmonious with each other; they can’t be contradictory or exclusive. 

OK. Now, what’s the next thing that we would do for a bodhichitta meditation? Now that we’ve built ourselves up to, as you call it, the basis, the causes. Now what?

Participant: One would also focus on the objective of the third and fourth noble truths.

Dr. Berzin: OK. Now we have to speak in terms of the third and fourth noble truths. How do the third and fourth noble truths fit it with bodhichitta? 

Participant: You get an idea of what you are aiming for.

Dr. Berzin: OK. What we’re aiming for. He says we get an idea of what we’re aiming for. What we’re aiming for is our own enlightenment, our individual enlightenment, which has not happened yet. That is referring to the third and fourth noble truths on our own mental continuums, the realized third and fourth noble truths that have not yet been realized. OK. What is that referring to? 

Participant: The mental continuum.

Dr. Berzin: The mental continuum. Yes, that’s the basis. Our individual mental continuum. The third noble truth is referring to the stopping, true stopping, of all the stains, to the emotional and cognitive obscurations, which is equivalent to the voidness of the mind. And we’ll explain that (last time, we didn’t get to that). But that is represented by focusing on the voidness of the mind, of the mental continuum. 

And what’s the fourth noble truth? 

Participant: The pathway mind.

Dr. Berzin: The pathway mind. The pathway mind, referring to what? What’s the pathway mind? The mind of a Buddha. The mind of a Buddha, with the full understanding of voidness, and all the good qualities, and unlimited compassion, and all these other things. That’s what we’re aiming for. It hasn’t happened yet that we have that full understanding, and it hasn’t happened yet that we have this stopping, true stopping. 

What are we working with now? 

Participant: On the basis of the mental continuum and Buddha-nature.

Dr. Berzin: That’s right. On the basis of the mental continuum and Buddha-nature. Buddha-nature factors that will enable us to become a Buddha and the factors that will transform into the various Corpuses of a Buddha, or Bodies of a Buddha. Now, we can speak in terms of the mental aspects. In tantra, we also speak in terms of the physical aspects, the subtle winds and so on, which can become the basis for the subtlest wind, become the basis for the physical bodies of a Buddha, and so on. There are many different levels of these Buddha-nature factors. 

Now we have to identify a little bit more clearly what are we speaking about when we talk about Buddha-nature factors. We’re speaking about potentials. We talk about the evolving Buddha-nature factors (rgyas-’gyur-gyi rigs). There’s the abiding ones (rang-bzhin gnas-rigs), which are the voidness of the mind, and then there’s the evolving ones. The evolving ones are referring to potentials. To be able to focus on our potentials, we have to know what they are. Not so much what they are, what the potentials… A potential for what? It’s a potential to be a Buddha, to have the qualities of a Buddha. But where are they? What do you actually focus on when you focus on them? This is what I was trying to explain last time. 

We have: in one moment, all we can speak about are the five aggregates. When we talk about the five aggregates, we’re talking about the aggregate factors which make up each moment of our experience. Aggregate factors just means five groupings of many, many different factors, grouped conveniently (or inconveniently, depending on how you can understand this). But there are many reasons for grouping all the things that can make up each moment of our experience into five groups. These are called the five aggregates. Aggregate means a group of things aggregated or put together — not in some sort of solid bag; it’s just a way of organizing. That’s what’s going to be there in this moment. That’s what’s making up my experience of this moment. 

There is a mental consciousness that’s there. There’s going to be some form of material phenomenon. Here what we can have is an imaginary form of a Buddha representing what it is that we’re aiming to achieve. We use that a great deal in tantra when we imagine ourselves in the form of one of these Buddha-figures. But in sutra we can imagine a Buddha-figure in front of us. We can also think in terms of our guru. We imagine our spiritual teacher because what we want is to have some representation of the good qualities, the resultant good qualities, that we want to achieve, and so we’re focusing on that in the teacher because the teacher gives us some... It’s very important having a spiritual teacher, because just to focus on a Buddha-figure or Buddha Shakyamuni himself, for most of us that’s not terribly inspiring. We want inspiration. We need inspiration. Inspiration is like a magnet which draws us if we are receptive. That’s one aspect of Buddha-nature, that the mental continuum can be inspired, it can be uplifted, it can be stimulated. If it couldn’t be, then it couldn’t be affected by anything, then it would be very difficult to make any progress. That’s one aspect of Buddha-nature. 

We need inspiration. Now, very difficult to get inspiration from just reading stories of the  histories of the Buddha and these various Buddha-figures. But with a spiritual teacher that we have personal contact with and personal experience with, then this can be very, very inspiring. That’s why we always speak in terms of the inseparability of the guru and the yidam (the Buddha-figure). We see in terms of Chenrezig — Avalokiteshvara, the embodiment of compassion — with His Holiness the Dalai Lama, that we see what it means for Chenrezig to be in a human form. That’s very important, to be able to see that inseparability. That is what gives us inspiration. 

We have in our five aggregates some visualization. It’s an imaginary form. We have some feeling (a feeling of happiness, usually) in terms of that. That’s also very important. With a spiritual teacher, it’s easier to feel that happiness than just thinking of some figure with 24 arms and so on, although visualizing ourselves in the form of a couple also helps to generate that happy feeling in our aggregates. Then the distinguishing. So we have to be able to distinguish the various features of a Buddha, the qualities and so on. Then the various mental factors that go with this — love, compassion, etc. 

That’s what’s happening in this moment. 

Where’s Buddha-nature here? Buddha-nature… we have to also recognize what is imputed on this mental continuum that we know at the same time. Something that is imputed is known at the same time as the basis of imputation in most cases. Here what is imputed on that moment — on each moment of the mental continuum — is, first of all, the mental continuum. There’s a continuum, whether or not we visualize it as a long stream going way out in the distance and our not-yet-happened enlightenment being some point out there. That can help actually, if we think of a linear representation of a temporal continuum, but you don’t have to visualize that; it’s just something that sometimes is helpful. Then we have imputed on that mental continuum the me, presently-happening me (and the absence of a presently-happening enlightenment; so we have to realize that we’re not enlightened yet, otherwise you get a bit crazy). What is imputed on that me are all the potentials. 

The me, these potentials, and so on, don’t have a form. They’re not a way of knowing something. But we can be aware of that as we are focusing on the present moment and that Buddha-nature. See, this is why tantra is so powerful, because that imaginary form of a Buddha that we are focusing on is our own form in that form of a Buddha. The sense of a me is the me that’s labeled on that. That’s called the divine pride (lha’i nga rgyal) or the pride of the deity, feeling that I am me on that basis, while knowing full well that we’re not yet enlightened. We have a sense of a me. 

Now, how do you have a sense of a me without it being an ego trip? Anybody have some comments on that? 

Participant: Simultaneously thinking about voidness.

Dr. Berzin: Simultaneously thinking about voidness. Yeah, but... If I have my hand on the armrest of the chair, I’m aware that me does not extend to the wood, aren’t I? I would hope. I have some sense of how far the boundary of me is in terms of the hand. Am I consciously thinking “me”? No. See, this is very important, actually, in tantra, is to have some understanding of how we are aware of me in a conventional sense without it being an ego — “Oh me, I’m so wonderful. I have to have my way,” and all of that — but just in what is conventionally valid. 

It’s like, for instance, Serkong Rinpoche used to say, used to use the example: Are you — because I’m from America — are you aware of being a man, not an animal? Are you aware of being masculine, not feminine? Are you aware of being an American and not Tibetan? You have a certain sense of that without it being verbally conscious. Think about that. We would use, in English, the very vague word feeling — if you have a feeling of being a human being and not a dog, a feeling of being one gender and not another, of one nationality and not another. 

Participant: It may be disturbing or non-disturbing.

Dr. Berzin: Well, that could be a disturbing thing or not disturbing. I’m talking about just a conventionally valid one without any of the emotional baggage that could go with that, whether positive or negative. Serkong Rinpoche said it is like just knowing: you just know that you are a human, and you know that you are a man or a woman; and depending on how strong it is for some of us, maybe our nationality is not terribly strong (although it’s usually associated with what language we speak), but we know that. This I thought was a very good way of explaining it. It’s something that you know, that is so totally integrated that you don’t have to think about it anymore. This is what’s involved in terms of labeling me in a healthy way. On that basis of such a me, such a sense of a me, that we are aware of without being what we’d call in English — I know it’s difficult to translate into German — self-conscious, in terms of thinking “Me, me, me.” 

Then, similarly, the abilities. Now, what about the abilities? I know that I can speak to you in English, I can speak to you in Tibetan, I can speak to you in a number of languages. I know that I can write. I know that I can do various things. I have various abilities. You just know that don’t you? It’s not something that you have to consciously think, is it? Now, can you bring them — sorry to use the Tibetan word — bring them to mind (in other words, appreciate these abilities, be aware of these abilities) without verbalizing them? What’s involved with that?

Participant: Mindfulness.

Dr. Berzin: Mindfulness, right. What’s mindfulness? Definition.

Participant: Being aware of what you do.

Dr. Berzin: Being aware of what you do? No. 

Participant: Remembering.

Dr. Berzin: Remembering. That’s right. The mental glue. Mindfulness (dran-pa) is to not let go of that. Attention (yid-la byed-pa) is what you’re referring to.

Participant: Is there accomplishing awareness (bya-grub ye-shes)?

Dr. Berzin: Accomplishing awareness. Yes. Now we get into the five types of deep awareness. But I think what goes with that… what I was thinking of was a sense of confidence. A sense of confidence. 

Of the five types of deep awareness, you’re right: it’s the accomplishing awareness, which is the awareness to be able to do something. Like when you see that you dropped something on the floor, and you see it, there’s the awareness to pick it back up. The awareness of what to do. But that’s taking it a step further, of what to do with the abilities. But it’s certainly involved. Certainly involved. 

I think a great deal of what’s involved here is self-confidence. That’s also part of what’s called the pride of the deity, a sense of confidence in your abilities while being aware of the abilities, but — this factor, the absence of presently-happening enlightenment — you know you’re not there yet. 

Participant: Because this is tantra, would this be in the generation stage?

Dr. Berzin: This is the generation stage, yes. This is what we start with. 

We have these abilities; we’re aware of that. One of the facets of these abilities is the ability to give rise to the fully functional state that’s not yet happening because it’s temporarily not doing that. Why? Because all the causes and conditions are not complete. We have to build up the causes and conditions for it to be complete. 

Although we can do bodhichitta meditation with visualizing a Buddha in front of us with all of this, it becomes even more powerful in tantra. This is why bodhichitta… You cannot practice tantra properly without bodhichitta. It’s all about bodhichitta and voidness and renunciation (to renounce our usual form, our usual self-concept, and so on). It’s all based on renunciation, bodhichitta, and voidness. Without it, it’s absolutely incorrect. Mariana, you look puzzled. 

Participant: I was thinking about remembering, and what is this exactly that you remember? Like attention, the achtsam?

Dr. Berzin: Oh, mindfulness. There’s this long word that I never remember in German.

Participant: Achtsamkeit.

Dr. Berzin: No, not Achtsamkeit. It’s the mental glue. It is not the action... when we say remembering in English, that has the aspect of taking something out of the memory bank and remembering it in that sense. We’re not referring to that. What we’re referring to is keeping something, not losing your awareness of something. So always remembering in that sense. Do we have another word in English for that? It’s not recollection. We’re not talking about recollecting. We’re talking about when you are focusing on something, not letting go. That’s mindfulness. That’s why I refer to it like a mental glue. 

Participant: What did you say it was in German?

Participant: Vergegenwärtigung.

Dr. Berzin: Yeah, Vergegenwärtigung is about the best we’ve come up with in German. 

OK. We have this. This represents the fourth noble truth, true pathway mind. We have the resultant state, which has not yet happened, represented by some Buddha-figure, some imaginary form. And we have the pathway, in the sense that we realize it’s way down the mental continuum when it’s going to be actualized, but with all these various causes and conditions, it will be actualized. The basis, which is the abilities that I have now. And the me is validly labeled on the whole continuum. Just as me is validly labeled on our whole continuum from when we were an infant until now and will continue to be validly labeled until we die, so similarly that me is validly labeled on the whole continuum until enlightenment (and beyond enlightenment as well; it doesn’t end with enlightenment). All these are there. Is that a little bit clear? I think each time we go through this, hopefully it becomes a little bit clearer what we’re talking about when we talk about bodhichitta. 

Now, what about the third noble truth? The third noble truth has to do with the true stopping. Here’s the line of reasoning. (Because what we’re focusing on here is the voidness of the mind. We always speak about deepest (don-dam-pa’i byang-chub-gyi sems) and conventional bodhichitta (kun-rdzob-gyi byang-chub-gyi sems), so here it’s the deepest bodhichitta, focused on voidness.) If there is voidness of true existence of the mental continuum, and if that’s true, then there has to exist the parted state (from ignorance) on the mental continuum; otherwise, voidness could not be true and exist. Think about that. 

If voidness is true, and if I focus on voidness, then there’s no basis for ignorance, for unawareness. Unawareness has to be something that can be parted, because unawareness is an unawareness of something which is true. If this is true, then if you realize it, the not realizing it will be gone. Do you follow that? Therefore, when you know voidness, you know that a true stopping is possible, that it exists. If voidness is true, then it has to be possible. If ignorance is not knowing it, believing that it’s not true… but if it is true, then ignorance can’t be there. 

Participant: “Because it’s true” I think is a little bit of a circular argument. 

Dr. Berzin: It is a bit of a circular argument, admitted. Admitted, it is a little bit of a circular argument. But otherwise, how do you focus on it? 

Participant: If there’s an overcoming of ignorance, there’s only voidness left. 

Dr. Berzin: Well, yes. It gets very, very complicated, this discussion, and I can’t say that I really understand it fully, this point. But if we are focusing correctly on voidness, then there is no unawareness at that time, is there? If we’re focused non-conceptually on voidness, which would be the proper full mode of meditation on deepest bodhichitta, then there is no ignorance, so there is a stopping. It sort of works like that. I think this is sufficient amount of understanding that we need to have in order to get into it. It is much more complicated. It is much more complicated, but I think that’s sufficient. Anyway, perhaps enough on bodhichitta meditation. 

Then, as Tsongkhapa says, we have to have all the aspects. All the aspects would be all the qualities of a Buddha — body, speech and mind, these types of things. That’s why the guru is a very good example for that, because the guru can inspire by the example. And particularly the guru inseparable from the Buddha-figure because the Buddha-figure has all the arms and faces and legs which represent all these various qualities, so it’s easier to keep them in mind if you have some graphic representation of it. That’s helpful.

Then there’s all these other points of what the benefits of bodhichitta are, and what it gets rid of, and so on. And this we find many, many verses (from Shantideva, for example) that explain all the benefits of bodhichitta, etc. In fact, that’s one of the ways of making sure that our bodhichitta never declines, is to remind ourselves of the benefits each day. That’s something that we have to think about, because what are we focused on? We’re basically focusing on the purity of the mind and all the abilities of the mind — of our minds — with love and compassion, etc. That’s why these causes are very important, because it’s very easy to forget about the love and compassion part and just: “Ah, I want to be a Buddha,” this type of thing. 

Now Tsongkhapa goes on and he says:

(Further,) from thinking that (developing) just (some of) these (motivating frameworks) is not enough (for in fact we need to generate the entire progression), then for certain it will come about that we will never forsake any of the hallowed Dharma.

That was a point — I think I might have mentioned it already — that the progression is very important from the initial to the intermediate to the advanced scope. If we try to do the advanced without the initial level, then we’re not really thinking of future rebirths. We get very discouraged, because chances are we’re not going to accomplish Buddhahood in this lifetime, almost impossible (although theoretically possible). If we don’t have the intermediate level, then we still have attachment, we’re still going to get angry with others, etc. It will be very, very difficult to have equanimity. We will get frustrated when others don’t follow our advice, or they don’t make progress. We won’t have patience, etc. We need a progression of these states. An important point. 

Now Tsongkhapa goes on (I’ll read the whole paragraph):

(Although) we indeed need to develop these motivating mental frameworks at the start (of our meditation sessions), it is not enough merely to develop them then: we need to maintain (these motivations) steadily and continuously (throughout our sessions). So, not only that, we need to strive to increase them more and more. Therefore, (suppose we thought that) since these are preliminary preventive measures, it is unnecessary to sustain the habit (of them throughout our sessions) and, as it is not necessary to work at all times for them not to degenerate, it is enough just to have sent (these motivations) ahead once (at the start of our sessions). Further, (suppose) we thought that as these are yogas that are (there) at the start but later, like the husks of a grain, it is all right to have left them aside and, having made them into something that didn’t count, we thought to familiarize ourselves (only) with the actual fundamental practices themselves. (For us to have thought like that) is not to have understood the essential point of the pathway minds at all. This is because when (our meditations are) parted from these previously explained motivating mental frameworks, especially a bodhichitta aim in the manner explained above, then (even if they) have been done as Dharma practice, they proceed as (just) seemingly Dharma. So even if we have meditated perfectly with absorbed concentration on voidness, it is unfit (to be considered) a Mahayana (practice. This) has been said not just once.

Tsongkhapa makes his point very strongly. This is a real piece of practical advice in our meditation, because it is very, very easy in our meditation to go “Blah, blah, blah, for all sentient beings, etc.,” in the beginning. And even if we don’t do it as a “blah, blah, blah,” just words, but we actually generate some sort of feeling, then it is very easy, especially if our meditation session has any sort of length to it, to forget about the motivation as we proceed during the meditation. Then what happens? What happens is a lot of mental wandering, a lot of all sorts of other thoughts come up — we get fed up with what we’re doing, we might get bored with what we’re doing, we look at our watch and wish that it would be over already, we start getting really distracted and upset about the pain in our knees. All sorts of things start happening. 

So, what is the problem here? It’s not just a problem of concentration. This is the important point here. If we approach our meditation simply as an exercise in concentration… He says, “Even if we’ve meditated perfectly with single-minded concentration on voidness, it is unfit to be considered a Mahayana practice.” It’s not just a matter of bringing our focus back to the object, but the motivation to do that. It’s not just a matter of self-control. This is his point. 

Now, obviously you need to be mindful of the motivation. You have to remember the motivation. (Here we talk about remembering.) If you’ve lost it, you have to recall it, recollect it, but we also have to not let go. So, you need to have mindfulness of it, and that’s actually very difficult to do, isn’t it? Very difficult to do. Let’s say if we’re meditating for a half hour. Hard enough to generate it sincerely in the beginning. That also is something that he says here: we think that these are yogas only for the start and that then we can throw it away like the husk of a grain (the stuff outside of a grain of wheat that you throw away). So often we just rush through the start because we think that “Well, the actual fundamental practice itself, that’s the important thing” — concentration or voidness meditation or one of these tantra sadhanas, or something like that. Tsongkhapa is saying that this motivation aspect is essential; it has to be the framework that is there throughout the meditation. 

Now we go to the instructions on concentration (ting-nge-’dzin). What are the instructions on concentration? Remember, we have mindfulness and alertness. Alertness is what notices when our attention has gone away. When we have lost mindfulness, when our mental glue is either lost or too loose or too tight, it notices that and rings the alarm “ding, ding, ding, ding, ding” and then attention comes back. We have these three factors involved with concentration, what we call mindfulness (dran-pa), alertness (shes-bzhin), and attention (yid-la byed-pa). The mindfulness is the glue. The alertness is the alarm system, the spy. And then attention is what stays aware of the object and brings the focus. 

What His Holiness the Dalai Lama always emphasizes is that of those three, the most important is mindfulness, is the mental glue. If you have the mental glue, then… Actually, it’s just an aspect of the mental glue, which is the alertness. It’s not that you have a dualistic mind here, that one mind is looking at the object and the other mind, like a superego, is watching you, like the policeman — then you never get concentration. But if there is the glue, the mental glue, then part of that mental glue is its awareness when it is too tight, too loose, or lost. It comes automatically with it. 

Participant: And that mindfulness would be the remembering.

Dr. Berzin: Is the mental glue, memory, or remembering — all those words are the same word as mindfulness. Keep your hold. It’s referring to the hold, the mental hold on the object. Don’t lose it. Then you have attention; then you’re paying attention to the thing. If you keep that hold, you are aware of the quality of the hold. You have alertness. 

What he’s saying, Tsongkhapa, is that in any practice what has to be there is not just this mindfulness, this mental hold on the object of focus — whether it’s a Buddha-figure or voidness or whatever — but also the mental factors that are accompanying it, which are the motivating mental framework. That that needs to be there as well. Don’t lose that. Also, keep your mental hold on that as well. This is what we have to work with, is to be alert enough to notice when we have started to become mechanical, not just to notice when we are mentally wandering (that also we have to notice). But even if we’re not mentally wandering — because he says “Even if we have meditated with perfect single-minded concentration” — so even when we don’t have mental wandering, to notice when we’ve lost the motivation (in other words, it’s become mechanical). That’s not easy. I mean, first we have to remember the importance of it. It’s not so easy without getting distracted in reestablishing our motivation, isn’t it? 

This is a difficult thing. That’s why if we have worked a great deal on the motivation as a meditation itself to develop love, to develop compassion, and to focus like that, and then we go through it at the beginning of the session, then — in theory, at least — we wouldn’t need to go through the whole sequence again and lose the main point of the meditation when we remind ourselves of our motivation. It’s just a matter of “Oh, I noticed that I’ve lost it,” and just a moment reminding ourselves. That’s something that we need to train in doing, to be able to just do it. 

That’s very important in daily life as well. This is where the real art, of applying these trainings in daily life… Let’s say we are speaking with someone, interacting with someone. We have to be able to notice when there’s starting to be some hostility in my voice, when there’s starting to be some arrogance (I’m showing off), where there’s starting to be some clinging, I’m trying to sell something to this person (usually I’m selling myself), I want them to like me or do something that I want them to do. You have to notice that immediately or as soon as possible. This is the meditation training, to notice the distraction as soon as possible and then instantly correct it, without having to say “time out” and go through a two-minute sequence of meditation to — you know, “I have to reboot,” and “Wait a second, it takes time for all the programs to shut down and for all of them to come back up again.” We can’t be like that. It has to be instantaneous. Then you’re really applying the Dharma and practicing it in life. That’s what it is all about, isn’t it? To notice as soon as possible.

In daily life, that’s why the definition of a disturbing emotion is so helpful. Its definition’s helpful. What’s the definition? A state of mind which, when it arises, you lose your peace of mind, and you lose self-control. It’s disturbing, disturbing to yourself, disturbing to others. You can usually, if you’re very sensitive to your energy, you can notice when the energy starts to get a little bit unpeaceful — then I’m trying to show off, I’m getting hostile, I’m trying to sell something, I’m getting jealous, whatever. A little bit more subtle when it is naivety. That’s a little bit more difficult to recognize. 

Participant: Can you?

Dr. Berzin: Can you? Well, that’s interesting. What would be an example? Naivety. You say something that is going to hurt somebody else, and you think that it’s just a statement and you don’t really think in terms of cause and effect. That’s naivety. You don’t think that saying that is going to affect the feelings of the other person. 

Participant: We think the truth has to come out. It doesn’t matter.

Dr. Berzin: The truth has to come out. It doesn’t matter. “Boy, that’s an ugly dress you’re wearing today,” for example. How do you notice that? I don’t know that it’s such a disturbed state of energy, but it’s certainly a state in which you lose self-control, because you’re not discriminating between what is helpful to say and what’s harmful to say. 

Participant: Maybe it is helpful to say.

Dr. Berzin: Maybe it’s helpful to say, but then you have to know skillfully how to say it and when to say it and who to say it to.

Participant: When one thinks each moment and then my mind goes astray or something, can one draw the line in the sense that something is beneficial for the other or not?

Dr. Berzin: Can you do that? What’s the question?

Participant: When you use this motivation, and you have to be quick not to do all this reasoning again, a quick way, would that be that one thinks “If I act like this or say this, it is beneficial for the other”?

Dr. Berzin: In terms of real life interacting with someone?

Participant: Yes. A very practical way. I’m thinking very practical.

Dr. Berzin: On a very practical level. What she’s asking — just to repeat for the recording — is one way of doing this in practical daily life to just try to remind ourselves what is beneficial or harmful for the other person? I think that that’s only part of it. Because when we talk about disturbing emotions and the karma that it brings up, we’re talking really primarily in terms of what’s beneficial or harmful for me in terms of the consequences. We don’t know, you can’t guarantee, what the effect of our behavior will be on the other person. That depends so much on what’s going on with them. The other person might appreciate that we tell them the dress is ugly, or they might get very hurt; we don’t know. 

Participant: But if you ask yourself “Is it beneficial to speak about this dress?” and then you can…

Dr. Berzin: Well, naivety has to do more with not even thinking in terms of cause and effect. It’s not a matter...

Participant: You think about it, you know? Then at least you think “Is this beneficial? Shall I shut up? Shall I say something about the dress or not?” 

Dr. Berzin: Well, then you say.... Well, shall I shut up or shall I say something about the dress? Then the reason is… Why do I want to say something? 

Participant: Yes, then if you ask, “Is it beneficial?” then you can draw a line.

Dr. Berzin: Is it beneficial? I wouldn’t look at it primarily that way. If we look at the progression of motivations, the first thing is: Why am I saying this? Am I saying this because I’m really thinking of the other person or am I saying that your dress is ugly to show that I am the judge, I am the one that can judge whether you’re looking well or not, I’m the critical one. Why am I always being so critical of other people? We would look first at what are the other disturbing emotions in me, and then am I really thinking in terms of what would be of benefit to the other person.

Participant: But without going through all of this. If you had to take a one-second decision.

Dr. Berzin: If you have to take a one-second decision, that’s very difficult. That’s why meditation is necessary. We need to have trained ourselves in this way of thinking beforehand so that you can instantly apply it. It’s not something that we can do as a beginner. 

Participant: One could become like a block of wood, as you mentioned from Shantideva.

Dr. Berzin: Shantideva gives the perfect advice, thank you. Shantideva gave the perfect advice. He said, “In these types of situations, remain like a block of wood.” Better not to say anything. Because also if you say, “What a pretty dress you’re wearing,” then you might be accused of sexual harassment in America. You don’t know what. Better to shut up, not say anything. Shantideva’s piece of advice — I mean, he repeats it over and over again. You remember how many verses he gave of different examples of when to remain like a block of wood? I think that’s the first piece, until we’ve trained ourselves to really discriminate what’s beneficial and what is not. That’s why we have to become a Buddha, to know the effects of everything that we say. That’s hard to say, isn’t it? Very hard to say. But to just give our opinion and say things to other people — why? What’s the motivation? That’s hard to catch in ourselves. Why do I always have to say something critical of somebody else? Why do I always joke with someone else, make fun of someone else? What’s behind it? 

Participant: Because in Western society not having an opinion about something is considered a very negative thing. Not in the sense of criticizing, but in the sense of not having an opinion in a discussion, or not saying anything, not responding.

Dr. Berzin: Well, you’re right. In Western societies, not having an opinion, not… Well, I have to differentiate here. Not having an opinion and not responding, you said — these, I think, are two different things. 

Participant: In a situation but not having anything to say about something. 

Dr. Berzin: Not having anything to say about something. Let’s say you are with somebody, and they are eating really, really quickly. Do you have to say something? Why? “Boy, you’re eating really quickly! Are you afraid somebody’s going to steal your food?” I mean, what’s the point? 

Participant: It could be that you want to make the other person aware that it’s…

Dr. Berzin: Well, we want to make the other person aware. Is that being done from a point of superiority? “The way that I eat is better.” That’s just it. This is what we have to... Now, Shantideva’s advice — remain like a block of wood — in that situation is helpful because then afterwards we can reflect and analyze “Why did I want to say that? What was the point? What did I want to accomplish? Why do I feel uncomfortable?” Because obviously I felt uncomfortable the other person ate so quickly. They’re finished and I still am only halfway through. Or the opposite: “Why are you eating so slowly?” I think that also can be even more infuriating. I know in myself I find that very difficult.

Participant: If one is of the opinion that eating too quickly… one thinks it’s really unhealthy.

Dr. Berzin: Yes, you could say that it’s very unhealthy. What about the people — I’ve had meals with this, and I swear never to have meals with these people again — who take an hour or an hour and a half to eat, because they play with the food, with the fork, and then they put the fork down and then they talk for one or two minutes, and then they play with the food a little more, and they start to put some to their mouth, and then they start talking again. You go “My god! I have to go. I have other things to do.” I find that, for me, is a great test of patience. What do you say? What do you say? It’s the same thing. What do you say?

Participant: Then the motivation is different. To say something because you think it’s really not beneficial for the health of the other person. In your story, it’s that you yourself are not patient. It’s different.

Dr. Berzin: Right, so that’s what you have to notice. Is it because I’m not patient enough, or am I thinking of the other person? But we need to be able to do that quite quickly. Well, you usually do have time in a meal to consider that before you start to say something.

Participant: From my experience, I must say I find it very difficult to become like a block of wood, because I usually still blame the person for what’s happening, and it’s usually accumulating to the point that I say something.

Dr. Berzin: Right. He says it’s difficult to become like a block of wood because there’s resentment inside and it builds up and eventually explodes. That’s not being like a block of wood. A block of wood doesn’t think anything either. A block of wood stops not just external activity, but a block of wood stops internal activity as well. It’s like “The dog. Why do I care how the dog eats? That doesn’t upset me.” You have to use tricks like that in these situations, or you have to make sure that there’s no disturbing emotion which is… Like in this situation with someone who eats so slowly, that “Excuse me, would you mind if I... I may have to leave before you finish because I have an appointment. I have another appointment.” Something like that. But that’s not said with criticism. It’s not said with putting the other person down and putting yourself up as being so much better. 

Participant: That was the point, that is it for a quick thing… [continues in German]

Dr. Berzin: Right, so you’re saying in order to make a quick decision, do you consider is it helpful for the other or not? I would say that in order to make a quick decision, you look at your own energy. Is there some disturbance which is there? If there is some disturbance that’s there, if I don’t have peace of mind... Because I don’t know what’s going to be of benefit to the other one or not, but I can tell am I uneasy here. If I’m sitting here and “My god, why don’t you shut up and eat already!” or “Why don’t you stop eating like a pig?”

Participant: OK. When one feels uneasy.

Dr. Berzin: When you feel uneasy, that’s the time to remain like a block of wood and not just say something that you might regret afterwards. 

To bring ourselves back to the topic: the topic is to maintain a motivation and not lose the motivation. The motivation in terms of having the meal with somebody — I mean, it’s not just the meditation session — “I want to overcome disturbing emotions, because it’s going to make fights with the person, and aggression, and resentment, and all this sort of stuff. I don’t want that.” Even if we don’t think in terms of future lives. We have that motivation that’s there. And then ultimately, I want to be of benefit to the person. That’s there as well. The motivation is important. 

Also another way of understanding this paragraph is the preliminaries — not just the preliminary motivation but the preliminaries like the prostrations and mandala offerings and Vajrasattva purification, and so on — that’s something that we don’t just do once and then I’ve paid my tax and I’ve gotten past this horrible thing that… you know, like you have to pay your dues, the entrance fee, in order to get into the club, and now I can forget about it, but it’s something to maintain throughout. This is Tsongkhapa’s point here, and it’s a very, very well-taken point and one which we really need to pay attention to if our meditation sessions are going to not become mechanical. And, as he says, if they become mechanical then it can’t be considered Mahayana. You can have perfect single-minded concentration even on voidness and it’s not going to bring the full result that we want. It just becomes an intellectual exercise. OK?

Let’s end here with the dedication. We think whatever positive force has come from this, whatever understanding, may it go deeper and deeper and act as a cause to reach enlightenment for the benefit of all.