LPA24: First Five Secondary Bodhisattva Vows to Benefit Others

Just to review quickly: Tsongkhapa points out that we have the working basis for being able to practice — we have the precious human body with all its liberties and respites and opportunities and enrichments to practice the Dharma — we’ve met with the teachings of the Buddha, and we are cared for by spiritual teachers, and we have the intelligence, the power of mind, to discern between what is to be adopted and what’s to be rejected. We have to engage ourselves in the actual teachings. 

For that, what is most essential is to rely on the guidance of a properly qualified spiritual teacher, one who knows what are the types of states of mind that we need to develop and which ones we need not to develop or we need to get rid of; and doesn’t add anything, doesn’t leave anything out; and knows the proper order of how to develop them and knows how to apply them to each of the disciples, so knows how to guide each one individually. And the teacher needs to have gained certainty about all of this by having gone through the training himself also by a qualified teacher, and that training needs to be based on the scriptural texts of the Buddha. It’s not that the textual tradition and the practice tradition are two different things; all the great texts of the Buddha and the Indian and Tibetan commentaries are meant just for the sake of practice. 

If we want to practice, how do we begin? The main thing is to tame our minds, and that means to, first of all, have a motivating mental framework within which we are going to tame our minds, and that motivating mental framework itself would be a manner of taming the mind. There are many ways to do this, but the most common way, that is very beneficial and helpful, is the graded stages of motivation, which was outlined by Atisha, the great Indian master who helped start the second phase of Buddhism coming to Tibet. For this, our motivating framework has to do with what we’re aiming for and the emotion that would bring us to aim for that goal. 

Initially, we aim for better rebirths. In other words, our mental continuum is going to continue forever, so we need to continue having the opportunities of a precious human rebirth to be able to continue to practice, since the path will take quite long. The emotion behind that is complete horror at the idea that we would lose this opportunity and be reborn in some situation in which we can’t do anything. In order to go in that direction, we need to refrain from destructive behavior on the basis of having a safe direction (or refuge) of Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. In other words, the state of mind that a Buddha and those who are near the state of a Buddha have attained, and those who have attained it in full and those who have attained it in part. 

Then, on the intermediate level, we realize that even if we have the precious human rebirth, it’s going to be filled with the ups and downs: we’re going to have to go through all the stages of our ordinary life with birth and aging, and finding a job, and going through all the difficulties that we have in life, and getting sick, and growing old and dying, and that just is going to go on and on and on with all the disturbing emotions and so on that are part of that. We get moved by disgust with all of this and wish to aim for liberation to get out of that type of situation so that our mental continuum will go on in a pure state without all of this confusion and the suffering that it brings. On the intermediate level we are aiming for that liberation. 

Then, on the advanced level, we think in terms of everybody else, how interconnected we are with everyone, and everyone has the same problem. We are moved by love and compassion to go further than just liberation to the enlightened state of a Buddha, so that we can truly know correctly what the best ways are to help everybody. Moved by that love and compassion, then we aim for that enlightened state. On the intermediate level, our way of gaining liberation was based on the higher trainings in discipline and concentration and discriminating awareness of reality. But here, on the advanced state, we need to have even more than that, even more than just ordinary love (byams-pa) and compassion (snying-rje) — great love (byams-pa chen-po) and great compassion (snying-rje chen-po), aimed at everyone equally, and bodhichitta with which we aim, based on that love and compassion, at our own future enlightenments that we have not yet attained but which is possible to attain on the basis of our Buddha-nature, the basic purity of the mind. 

Anyway, we have these graded stages. 

Although it’s not mentioned here, it’s also very important, if we want to go in the direction of a combined path of sutra and tantra, that we understand with this advanced level of motivation, this motivating framework, that in order to actually reach that enlightened state, we need to get a very special state of mind. In other words, what we want to do is to understand voidness. Voidness means the way that things exist, the absence of impossible ways. If we do that just with this renunciation, this determination to be free from our uncontrollably recurring rebirth and all the things that propel it, that would be enough to gain liberation. But if that understanding of voidness is backed by bodhichitta then that will bring us to enlightenment. However, that’s very, very difficult with our ordinary state of mind — not so much state of mind, but our ordinary level of mind — that we use in sutra, and so what we’re going to need is to access the subtlest level of mind, which will be the most efficient for gaining that nonconceptual cognition of voidness, and staying with it and getting rid of the whole process in which our mind makes… the habit of it making projections of impossible ways of existing. We need to understand also what tantra is all about, why it’s necessary, and how it works, in order to be convinced that this is what we need to do. Without that conviction in the effectiveness of tantra then it doesn’t make much point. Although Tsongkhapa doesn’t mention that here, that is important. 

For all of this, we need to get these — staying here with the motivating mental frameworks of these initial, intermediate, and advanced stages — we need to have them in an uncontrived manner, which means sincere, not that we have to always build it up over and over and over again with all the steps. For that, we have to meditate (in other words, build them up as beneficial habit) by practicing them over and over again, generating them over and over again, based on lines of reasoning, so that eventually we don’t need to rely on those lines of reasoning but we’re able to just automatically have these motivating mental frameworks and have them all the time. 

To do that, to build these up as beneficial habits, or meditate, then Tsongkhapa describes all the things that are necessary. We need to know what are the causes that will enable us to develop these states of mind, what are the different stages or things that they depend on, what will help it, what will harm it. We need to also know, with the state of mind that we’re trying to generate, what it is that it’s focused on, how the mind relates to that object that it’s focusing on. All of these are things that we need to be very confident about. In addition, we need to build up a lot of positive force and do a lot of purification practices and so on. 

When we have developed these motivating mental frameworks, we need to be able to maintain them not just during our meditation sessions — not just at the beginning of the meditation but throughout the meditation, and not just during the meditation session but all the time. 

These are very important points as a preliminary stage. That covers very much the aspects of this sutra part of the combined sutra and tantra path. 

Then, to practice tantra, Tsongkhapa first of all says that (in addition to these points that we’ve covered) what is most essential is keeping a set of these various sets of vows of ethical discipline. The discipline is essential. That in fact is the doorway, he says — the gateway for entering into a certain vehicle of mind. For this, there are the three sets of vows. The first two sets are in common with sutra. These are the pratimoksha vows (the vows for individual liberation), which can be as a layperson or as a novice or full monk or nun. We covered a little bit of that in terms of just the lay vows. 

Then we went on to the second set of vows, which are the bodhisattva vows. These bodhisattva vows are framed in terms of various actions that we promise that we’re going to try our best to avoid, not to do, because if we do them then it damages very much our aim for enlightenment to be able to benefit everyone. We have 18 root vows and 46 secondary vows. We have finished the root vows. And for the secondary vows: they’re divided into groups of vows that specify certain actions that would be detrimental to our development of each of the far-reaching attitudes and then toward helping others in general. We’ve covered the ones that are detrimental for the six far-reaching attitudes — in other words, what are the negative actions that would be harmful to our development of generosity, our development of ethical discipline, our development of patience, our development of joyful perseverance, our development of mental stability or concentration, and our development of discriminating awareness (or sometimes called wisdom). 

Now we are up to the secondary vows that concern 12 faulty actions that contradict our working to benefit others. That’s where we are. Again, we’ve been looking at these faulty actions in terms of how they… If we are a bodhisattva or an aspiring bodhisattva, somebody aiming to reach enlightenment in order to benefit everybody, how would committing these faulty actions harm that? How would that be counter to that aim that we have, that bodhichitta? 

[1] Not going to help those in need

The first one is not going to help those in need. The emotion behind it that would cause us to not help the needy would be anger (we’re angry with them), spite (“You didn’t help me, so why should I help you?”), laziness, or indifference (we just don’t care). 

Eight types of people needing help

There is a list of eight types of persons who need help, and when they ask for our help — or even if they don’t ask for our help — these are the ones that we need to not avoid helping: 

[1a] Those needing help in making a decision about something positive

The first one is those who are making a decision about something positive. For example, at a meeting. If you belong to a group and they need people to help them make a decision about something positive — not a decision about going to war, but a decision about some something positive — and they need our help in making that decision, or giving advice or discussing and so on, then they need assistance. These are the type of people that we should not hesitate to help with. 

[1b] Those needing help in traveling

Then the next one is in traveling. Travelers who are lost, who need directions, this type of thing. We need to help them. 

[1c] Those needing help in learning a foreign language that we know

The next one is those who need to learn a foreign language that we know. That becomes an interesting question, because do we have time to do a whole course of teaching somebody a language that we happen to know? But we have various specifications later on… let’s say exceptions to this. Like, for instance, if there’s somebody else who could do a better job, or we don’t know how to teach the language, and so on. 

I think that this, on an ordinary level, can mean… For instance, we’re with somebody in our country and they don’t understand the language very well, and they ask us “What does that sign mean?” or “What did this person just say?” Just this ordinary type of help of somebody who doesn’t understand the language. That, I think, is very important. If we don’t help somebody like that when we can, that’s obviously going contrary to the bodhisattva aim. If we’re aiming to bring them to enlightenment, we can surely help them with a small language problem. 

[1d] Those needing help in carrying out some task that has no moral fault

Then the next one is helping those in carrying out some task that has no moral fault. OK, what would that be? Like moving. One of our friends or one of our fellow students or whatever is moving house, and they ask us for our help in packing or moving. This type of thing. That’s carrying out a task that has no moral fault. It’s not that they need help in going out and…

Participant: Dismembering a body.

Dr. Berzin: Dismembering a body or killing kangaroos or whatever. 

[1e] Those needing help in keeping watch over a house, temple, or their possessions

Then the next one is we have to help those in keeping watch over a house, temple, or their possessions. “Could you watch my bag while I go to the restroom on the train?” or something like that. Nowadays, of course, that’s a little bit difficult when people are always paranoid of... don’t leave a bag unattended, or somebody asks you to watch a bag and it has a bomb in it, or something like that. That can be a little bit difficult. But nevertheless, according to this vow, if somebody asks us to watch something, or “Could you please stay at my house while I’m away?” or “Could you please water my plants while I’m gone?” or feed my cat, or something like that, then this is something that we need to not refuse. 

[1f] Helping by stopping a fight or an argument

Then the next thing is stopping a fight or an argument. How do we do that? Especially if it’s a very violent fight that’s going on — somebody is being held up with a gun or a knife or something like that. 

Participant: Call the police.

Dr. Berzin: Call the police. That’s something we could certainly do. But this is saying even more — that if we have the strength and ability to intervene, to intervene (or at least scream really loudly or something like that). That’s not an easy one, actually. That really is not, especially if we are basically somebody who has no training in martial arts or fighting or doing anything. How do we stop an actual physical fight? It’s not so easy. 

But arguments: we can try to intervene; we can try to help them to calm down. Often what happens, of course, is that the two of them gang up against us. But, in a sense, that is better because that brings them together, doesn’t it? Do you have any experience in trying to stop arguments or fights? 

Participant: Yes. That’s what always happens. They say, “I wasn’t really angry at them. You shouldn’t have interrupted. Now we’re both angry at you.”

Dr. Berzin: Right. He’s had the experience where they admitted that “We weren’t really angry with each other, but you interrupted.”

Participant: What if it was a woman who was beaten by her husband, and they know it wasn’t really that bad, but then you…

Dr. Berzin: Right. This is a problem. Defending a woman, a battered wife, and then they of course may deny that it was bad, or when it comes up — this often is the case with battered children or abused children as well — they will deny it. That’s not so easy. In Mexico they always say, for women, “If my husband doesn’t beat me, that means he doesn’t love me.” They have a very unusual culture. At least when I go there each year, they tell me that. 

But what kind of arguments are we talking about then? I really wonder whether there are some exceptions to this. What I’m thinking of is my old aunt and uncle. I have an aunt and uncle. (Actually ,the uncle just died a month ago. He was 98. And my aunt is 96, will be 97 shortly. She’s still alive.) They bickered and argued all the time about the most insignificant things. I always use that as an example. He would say “It’s blue” and she’d say “No, it’s not blue. It’s dark blue” and then they would have a big argument about that. This type of thing. But he was absolutely alert and sharp until the day he died, and my aunt is still alert and sharp. I think all of this bickering with each other back and forth is what kept them going and alert rather than just sitting there and falling asleep in front of the television. Those type of arguments, I think — it’s not necessary to intervene when they’re arguing about something like that. 

But I don’t know. That’s a difficult thing. Do we interfere or do we not interfere? I think certainly if a child is being abused or beaten, we need to interfere in some way. Then it’s a matter of being diplomatic of how we do that, isn’t it? 

Participant: There’s also the error of being willing to be an enemy of someone for doing that.

Dr. Berzin: Absolutely. It is the willingness to be the enemy of somebody for doing that. This is very much the same flavor as the story of the Buddha, in a previous lifetime, being willing when… He was on a boat. There were 500 merchants, and one of the oarsmen wanted to kill everybody. Buddha took it upon himself to kill that oarsman to save everybody (and to save that oarsman from doing such a terrible thing), but with a total willingness to take on the negative karmic consequences of taking a life. Similarly, in intervening in an argument, we need to be willing to take on whatever comes from that. That’s the same thing in intervening in a fight. If then they start attacking us, whether physically or verbally, we need to be willing to do that. This is actually quite a difficult bodhisattva practice to engage in.

Participant: Actually, the example you gave is an example of taking on the karmic consequences, but very often you may be taking on the more immediate consequences in this lifetime — of conflict or whatever. That’s what you have to be prepared for if you break up an argument or a dangerous fight. 

Dr. Berzin: Exactly. With the example of the Buddha, that was taking on karmic consequences for future lives (although it could have ripened in this lifetime). And here in the example that we’re discussing, it’s speaking about the actual immediate physical consequences of intervening, or we get sued, or something like that comes up. 

I think that this underlines the importance and necessity to become a Buddha in order to know what is the best way to help in this situation: What can I do that will actually break up the argument? What is the most effective thing to do? When is it best to intervene and when is it best to let certain things play out? Isn’t it? But in any case, we try very much, especially when there are two kids who are fighting or arguing with each other. That’s something that we can easily break up. If it’s two people with knives, that’s something else. But in theory, this is a situation in which people need some help, and we should not hesitate to try to help. But again we have these caveats (afterwards, we’ll get to that). 

[1g] Helping those celebrating an occasion, like a wedding

Then the next one is helping those in celebrating an occasion, like a wedding. 

Participant: That’s very Indian.

Dr. Berzin: That’s very Indian. Yes, it is very Indian. But if we are invited to something that people want to celebrate, and they’re happy, and it would make them very, very happy if we attended also, and they would be very offended if we didn’t attend — whether it’s a wedding, a birthday, or whatever, a funeral (that’s not actually a celebration), but a happy occasion — if we’re invited, then unless there is a very good reason not to go, we go. 

[1h] Helping by doing charity work

Then the last one is doing charity work. Helping volunteer in a hospital or whatever. 

Exceptions where we can decline to help

Now it gives exceptions to this. It doesn’t damage our efforts to help others if we can’t help in these situations. The exceptions are: 

• If we’re sick.

• If we’ve already promised our assistance elsewhere (you can’t be in more than one place at the same time).

• Or when we’re able to send somebody else who is capable of the job in our place. “I can’t help you, but here’s somebody that can help you.” That’s often the case. People ask for my help through my website and I don’t know the answer, and so I suggest to them someplace else to go or somebody who might be able to help. 

• When we are engaged in some positive task that is more urgent. “I can’t go to your birthday party because I have a class, a Buddhist class” — hint, hint, hint — or “I’m teaching” or “I’m working on…” Like our example today, that somebody can’t be here because they have to finish writing a paper for a class that they’re taking at a university. These types of things. Or there’s another example of somebody who isn’t in class today, who was asked by somebody to comfort them because their grandmother had just died and was very sad and needed some sort of comforting, so they didn’t come to class. If we’re engaged in some positive task that’s more urgent then if we’re invited out to something which is not so urgent, then it’s OK. 

• Or if we’re incompetent to help. That would take care of if we are very, very weak and these two really heavyweights are fighting with a knife. We have no way… we’re incompetent to really stop them physically, although we could certainly call for help. 

• But of course, there’s no fault if the task is harmful to others, what the other people are doing, and they ask for our help.

• If it’s contradictory to the Dharma, like worshipping some sort of spirit or something like that. 

• Or unreasonable. Sometimes it could be unreasonable, what people ask us to help them with. There are those, for instance, who become very, very dependent on others and constantly are asking them to do everything for them. In those cases, often it is more helpful to them to say no and help them to become more self-sufficient. “You can do that. Come on, you don’t need my help.” This type of thing. If it’s unreasonable. 

• Or if they’re asking us to do something that’s beyond our ability. 

• Or if the person requesting our assistance is capable of finding help elsewhere or has somebody reliable to find it for them. Again, if they can find somebody else. If they have others who can do that.

• Then, for instance, people asking us for our help to move, to carry heavy books down five flights of stairs or up five flights of stairs, and they have many other young people that they could ask and we’re an old person and would have difficulty carrying — we’d have difficulty even walking up the five flights stairs, let alone carry a box of books — then there’s no fault in excusing ourselves. We could make tea or something but not carry books. 

These guidelines, I think, are quite nice — that it tells us what the states of mind are... Of course, it’s saying if we refuse because of laziness, or we don’t care, or are angry with the people, or spite… If we don’t have these disturbing emotions there, and it’s perfectly reasonable for us to excuse ourselves, then we don’t. But if we can’t be bothered to translate something that somebody just said… “What was that announcement in the train station? I couldn’t understand it,” and there’s a traveler in the train station, and we understood the message over the loudspeaker, you tell them. 

[2] Neglecting to serve the sick

Then the next one, the second of these 12, is neglecting to serve the sick because of anger (again anger), spite, laziness, or indifference. If somebody is sick and they need us to help them in some way or another, then it’s very important to take care of them — this actually was part of the monastic situation that Buddha set up as well, was that the monks need to take care of each other when they are sick — without being afraid that we’re going to get sick as well, we’re going to catch their cold or their flu or whatever it is, but just serve them in whatever way we can: go to the pharmacy and get medicine for them, cook for them, shop for them, whatever, take their dog for a walk. 

[3] Not alleviating suffering

Then the next one is not alleviating suffering, also because of either anger, spite, laziness, or indifference. 

Seven types of people who have difficulties requiring special care

Here it talks about — how many are there? — seven types of persons who have difficulties that require special care, that the downfall here is not helping them. 

[3a] The blind

First would be those who are blind. Help them cross the street or whatever.

[3b] The deaf

The deaf. They didn’t hear a car coming with a loud horn — to help them, to warn them.

[3c] Amputees and cripples

Amputees and cripples. Those who are in wheelchairs or whatever. You hold the door open for them, whatever it is that we can do to help.

[3d] Tired travelers

The tired travelers. What type of situation would that be? Give them our seat on the U-Bahn, on the subway or on a bus, show them the way — “This is how you find a taxi” — or whatever. If we have the possibility to offer them a place to stay or whatever, or a ride if they’re hitchhiking. 

Participant: Often, it’s just the opposite. When you’re a tired traveler, people see a chance to get more money out of you.

Dr. Berzin: Right. He points out that if there’s a tired traveler, sometimes people take advantage of them, try to get more money out of them. I suppose this is talking about taxi drivers and so on in certain places in the world. I know you’ve done a tremendous amount of traveling just recently. When you’re tired, you really appreciate somebody who helps you. And often, particularly in the poor developing countries, these people are the more friendly. They’re the ones that would be much more likely to open up their homes for you to stay in, or give you a meal, than people in the West. People in the West would hardly do that.

Participant: Or on an Indian train with all the other tired travelers trying to be on your seat as well. 

Dr. Berzin: This is a very good… OK, now she’s talking practical. Traveling in India on a train, third class or even second class, and there are tired people who want to share our berth with us, to sit on our berth, or to sit very, very closely to us, and so on. I think that there’s nothing wrong in allowing them to sit there if... I mean, there’s a difference between when we want to go to sleep and you’re just sitting there. You know, many Westerners seem to think that they require a buffer zone of empty space around them, which is certainly not the case in a very crowded country like India or China. 

Participant: Egypt.

Dr. Berzin: Egypt. There are many, many countries that would find this very unreasonable and selfish, to require empty space around them. If there is empty space and we can offer that, that’s fine. 

I remember once I was on an Indian train and I supposedly had a reservation for a berth and it was unavailable, and there was no place for me to — you know, an overnight train — to lie down or sleep in. One Indian man offered me to share his berth with him. Not that he was doing any hanky-panky or anything. I mean, he slept in one direction and I slept in the other direction on this wooden shelf of a third-class Indian train. But I thought “How incredible.” I could not imagine a Western person offering that to a total stranger. These are the things that have made me love that country, that people do that. Likewise, if there’s no harm and we can offer some of our space on a train, why not?

Participant: I was thinking more about the case when you go to bed; then it’s OK to say, “OK, please leave now.”

Dr. Berzin: When you’re going to bed — again, how much space do you need on the berth? If it’s a very crowded train and this person would have to stand all night, as opposed to at least sit on the edge of our bed, I would let them sit on the edge of the bed. How many times have you had to sit on the floor of an Indian train all night next to the toilet? Not nice.

Participant: In Mauritius it’s also not a problem. They’re used to that.

Dr. Berzin: Right, in Mauritius. She says that people are very friendly and helpful. This I found also when I visited there. Very helpful. 

If we can do that, that’s really nice. Now again, we see all these movies of perverts that people try to help and then they murder them or something like that, and certainly something like that can happen. We try to use our judgment, but that’s difficult, isn’t it? 

Participant: Then karma comes into it. What did you do in your last life? 

Dr. Berzin: Then karma comes into it. Intuition. Karma. I’m also reminded of my favorite Persian saying: “Trust in God but tie your camel.” Don’t just trust in my karma that everything is going to be wonderful.

Participant: No, I meant on the contrary. 

Dr. Berzin: Right. The other way around. I don’t know. We have to use a little bit of judgment. Also, in helping others — do you help an alcoholic who’s begging for money in the street? 

Participant: Why not?

Dr. Berzin: Do you give them money? Or someone who’s obviously a heroin addict begging for money for another fix? 

Participant: Is it on you to decide this?

Dr. Berzin: Is it on us to decide it? I don’t know. I think certainly it’s better to give somebody like that food if we have.

Participant: Don’t give them money though; give them something they can use.

Dr. Berzin: Give them something that they can use. Sometimes they will be very angry and throw it back at you. 

Participant: I’ve often given pet food to their dogs. Or once there was a cat.

Dr. Berzin: Right. Often, she’s given pet food to the dogs of the ones that have been begging. It’s amazing that you walk around with pet food in your bag. 

Participant: I do that very often because I have a dog. But also sometimes I go away and buy some and bring it back. In the case of the cat, I bought a box of dry cat food and brought it back to her. She was very happy. Sometimes they’re not as happy: they would rather just have the money or food for themselves.

Dr. Berzin: Right. Sometimes she’s actually gone to a nearby store and bought food for somebody that’s sitting on the street begging with an animal — to bring back food for the animal as well. Again, it’s taking on the risk that the person’s going to be angry with us.

Participant: I would say, since intoxication to the point of unconsciousness is against the Dharma, we shouldn’t give people money for alcohol or heroin.

Dr. Berzin: Right. Since intoxication is certainly a non-Dharmic thing — drinking alcohol in general is a non-Dharmic thing — then it’s not good to take the person into the bar and buy them a shot of whiskey or give somebody a bottle of vodka. Correct. 

Participant: But if somebody is begging on the street, you don’t know what he’ll spend the money on.

Dr. Berzin: Right. If somebody is begging on the street, we don’t know what they’re going to spend the money for. That’s true. 

Participant: Then the other thing is when… it’s like “OK, I know what’s best for you, so I’ll buy you food,” and things like this. I don’t like that too much, saying that. 

Participant: One has to be careful with motivation.

Dr. Berzin: Right. One has to be careful with one’s motivation. It can be this feeling that “I know what is best for you,” this type of thing. Also, we could buy them some food then they don’t like that. Of course, there’s always the case… I don’t know. But the experience that I’ve had: There are a lot of homeless people that beg on the U-Bahn, on the subway. And at Christmas time if you give them some Christmas biscuits or something like that, they really, really appreciate that, and some sort of homelike type of thing. 

Then, on the other hand, I always think of the example of my grandfather, who died before I was born. But the story that I was always told was that there was an alcoholic that came to the door of my grandfather’s home (with my grandmother, my mother, etc.), and it was an alcoholic who begged for money. My grandfather said, “No, I won’t give you money. But we’re having dinner. Please, if you would like to join us at the table, we’ll give you a meal.” The person cursed and yelled and was really, really angry at my grandfather, and my grandfather had a heart attack and died. An extreme example. 

Participant: Don’t answer your door.

Dr. Berzin: Don’t answer your door. But sometimes the negative consequences will be there. Obviously, there are many, many other causes why he had heart attack. 

Participant: Did they tell you what the beggar did afterwards?

Dr. Berzin: What the beggar… No. I think it happened shortly afterwards; it wasn’t while the beggar was still standing there. This happened before I was born, so I heard the story secondhand, obviously. But that’s part of my family history. 

Participant: Maybe it was the shock.

Dr. Berzin: I think he was very shocked, and I think he also had high blood pressure, etc. This was quite long ago, in the early 1940s. 

Participant: It was very noble of your grandfather.

Dr. Berzin: Oh, it was very noble of him. He was a very noble man, from everything that I heard about him.

Participant: I want to add something to Mark’s. I really found this is a difficult thing about giving to beggars. Especially when visitors come to my place, which is often the case, and I bring them through Berlin and they see all the beggars, the city beggars. Oftentimes my visitors say,  “Oh, I never give anything to people like that, because you can never know what they spend it on.” It really makes them convinced that giving is no use at all. This is the other extreme, that people just think “Whatever I do, there’s no use in giving at all.” What happens very often when I bring people to the city is that they see so many beggars around and the only reaction is not to give at all. I don’t know. It’s the other extreme that you can go to.

Dr. Berzin: I don’t quite understand. Let me just repeat for the listeners of this. He says that he often has visitors here in Berlin. And Berlin has quite a number of homeless people who beg on the subway system and occasionally at the entrances of the subway system. Often you feel that there’s no point in giving to them, that there is no use. What do you mean by no use?

Participant: They argue with me, and they say it’s a rule that they spend it on alcohol. 

Dr. Berzin: Right. That they spend it on alcohol or things like that, or they’re just... it could also be the attitude that they’re just lazy, that they are living off of the kindness of others, whereas they could get a job or do something else, or they’re runaway kids that maybe would do better to go back home, and so on. There is that attitude. I don’t think that’s a very helpful attitude. 

Participant: You have this notion that there’s no use in contributing to bad behavior. But you really don’t know.

Dr. Berzin: Right. You feel there’s no use contributing to bad behavior, and so there’s no use. I don’t know. Of course we can’t tell what they’re going to spend it on, that’s true. The whole thing gets into a discussion then of the welfare system — that we pay our taxes to support unemployed people, for example. Of course, there are many arguments for and against that. 

From a Buddhist point of view, certainly it’s very good to support those who need help. Are there people who will take advantage of that? Yes. I mean take unfair advantage of that and exploit it? Yes, by all means. However, there will also be those who really need it. So, do you sacrifice one for the other? Who are we to judge? When you do have people who are in a position who have the job to judge… very often they don’t judge very fairly in a government social system. This is very difficult. But on an individual level, I think we need to try our best; otherwise we become very callous. This is what it’s pointing out, these motivating emotions here. You become indifferent. You don’t even consider these people as human beings.

Participant: I also think it’s important to acknowledge them.

Dr. Berzin: Absolutely. That was the next point I was going to make — to acknowledge them, to treat them as human beings. “I’m sorry. I don’t have any change,” to give them a smile, look at them. Most people won’t even look at them, that’s very true — if you look at them then they’ll come over to you. 

Participant: I think sometimes that’s even more important than just some monetary reward that you toss at them and walk away as if it’s your civic duty to just give some money, give some money, give some money, without really acknowledging them as a human being.

Dr. Berzin: Right. It’s very important to acknowledge them as human beings. I think back of my days in Dharamsala in India, and there we had many lepers — people with leprosy — who sat at the side of the road. They had a leper camp where a group of them slept in tents and so on. They were always there on the side of the road, and sometimes you could give them something. The Indian merchants in the bazaar were incredibly kind: they always gave them leftover vegetables or a cup of tea or something like that. I mean, these people didn’t starve, which I thought was marvelous, that the Indian society like that took care of them. I couldn’t give them every day, of course, but I always said hello to them and “How are you doing?” and so on, and this, I think, was very, very much appreciated.

Participant: There are beggars I’ve seen at the same subway every day and I’ve actually go to know them enough to talk to them. 

Dr. Berzin: Right. The beggars who are there regularly, even here at the subway stops, that you smile, you say hello to them. That helps — of course it helps — that people treat them as human beings. 

The most challenging ones that I’m thinking of are — I mean, again you have to know India or these third world places to appreciate this — but when you get a swarm of beggar children, like in places like Bodhgaya where you’ll get twenty or thirty of these children who are between the ages of four and ten, and they just come like a whole swarm. They’re all begging, and it’s impossible to give to just one or two. They won’t leave you alone if you’re a Westerner, and they’ll follow you. That’s very difficult. What do you do, Karsten, in that situation? You must have encountered it.

Participant: I don’t think I made a good performance. I mean especially in Bodhgaya, you know? Because you get so much strange information about the begging scene — that there’s a mafia, and there’s like one big boss and he gets 50% of the income, and that the children go to school in order to learn to beg. At one point, I just went to a local NGO and gave some rupees, and then I said, “OK. I gave this, and now it’s finished,” because I don’t know. I can’t decide if it’s really helpful or not.

Dr. Berzin: Right. Here, in the situation of Bodhgaya: you have a mafia person who organizes these kids; the kids come from poor families, they’re forced into begging; the mafia keeps 50%, and so on. This is a difficult situation. He gave money to a local NGO that was involved with helping the poor there. That’s a way of dealing with it. It’s very difficult not to get really annoyed and just scream really loudly and firmly: “No. Scram! Beat it! Go away!” (“Chalo!” as one says in Hindi.) Those are difficult situations. 

But also what I always think is very helpful… Where it struck me the most was in Moscow in the winter where these old grandmothers are on their knees on the cold ground begging by the subway place. You see this a lot. At least a few years ago you saw that more in Moscow. Then you think “* what if that’s my mother?” I mean, besides everybody could have been your mother. But here’s a very good example, that this is probably somebody’s mother or somebody’s grandmother, and what would I feel if that were in fact my mother? To visualize your mother begging like that, as an old person who lives on a totally inadequate pension in the most expensive city in the world and it’s freezing cold. Then you have a little bit more respect, and you actually give something if you have. These are very good points. 

Remember we had this thing of going when there’s a need? We had something similar in another one of the secondary vows concerning generosity. The negative action was not going when we’re invited as a guest. That was a hindrance to the other person practicing generosity, if we’re invited and we don’t go (we don’t accept their hospitality). And here it’s when we can help.

[3e] Those suffering from any of the five obstacles preventing mental stability

What were we up to? Not alleviating suffering. Seven types of persons: the blind, the deaf, amputees and cripples, then tired travelers. Then the next is those suffering from any of the five obstacles preventing mental stability — remember we had those? — (a) the intention to pursue any of the five types of desirable sensory objects, (b) thoughts of malice, (c) foggy-mindedness and sleepiness, (d) flightiness of mind and regrets, and (e) indecisive wavering or doubts. What in the world could that mean? These are people who have suffering and we need to help them. 

Someone with indecisive wavering (they can’t make up their minds what to do) — to try to help them. We have, I’m sure, many examples of people who can’t decide “Should I do this? Should I do that?” To at least be a sounding board for them. That is helpful. 

Those who are always thinking of “How can I get this? How can I get that?” (so there’s intentions for desirable sense objects), who have thoughts of malice, who want to hurt others — these are people that need some help. How to help them is not so easy. At least some sort of help to calm them down. 

Those who are foggy-minded and sleepy all the time, people who are very dull, people who are spaced out all the time. I know many people who are like that, that are totally impractical, spaced out, and they really need help, otherwise they do things that are totally impractical and absurd. 

Then those with flightiness of mind and regrets, so people who are distracted all the time. I’m sure we know a lot of people like that.

Participant: Myself.

Dr. Berzin: Yourself. People who are addicted to surfing on the internet, who have attention deficiency disorder. These types of people need our help. Or people who are always filled with regrets and guilt. 

Again, if we were a Buddha we would know how best to help these people. But it’s important to recognize that these are people with suffering and therefore whatever we can do to help them is in order.

[3f] Those with ill will and strong prejudices

Then the next one is those with ill will and strong prejudices. Somebody who has strong prejudices against some sort of ethnic group, or people of color, who thinks we should kill them all and so on. Rednecks in certain parts of the world; neo-Nazis in this part of the world. How do you help them? They’re suffering. That’s a very important point: they are suffering. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be... I mean, obviously their minds are not at peace. How do you help people like this? 

Participant: Maybe first you try to understand them and not demonize them as subhuman themselves. Why are they in this situation?

Dr. Berzin: Right. Exactly. Why are they in this situation? Don’t demonize them. Try to understand. Like here in Germany: People from the former East Germany having so few work possibilities in their place and there’s so many foreigners coming in. They’re very frustrated. They’ve not gotten a good deal. This fuels this type of ill will and prejudice. 

Participant: Even on a yet more individual level: What is it about this particular person? It may be some dysfunction in their family. It may be something that’s more innate about this person even, not just the group as a whole. 

Dr. Berzin: Right. What she’s pointing out is that not only look in terms of a group but also the specific individual. This is — for those of you who remember the teachings on the five types of deep awareness — not just the equalizing awareness that sees the pattern with larger groups but also the individualizing awareness. That despite being part of this larger group that has this social problem, they’re also an individual, and there can be many individual facets to why they’re acting this way. In other words, not condemn the person, not make judgments ourselves. 

Judgment here… His Holiness the Dalai Lama always points out that there’s a difference between a person’s actions and the person. The person’s actions may be harmful and very negative, and that’s something that we need to be able to address, not just tolerate, and somehow try to make that end. But the person is something else, and the person is a human being, wants to be happy — they’re suffering like everybody else — and that person is certainly an object for compassion. This is what it’s talking about here. 

Participant: He always talks about the Chinese that way.

Dr. Berzin: He speaks about the Chinese that way. He speaks about all perpetrators of violence and negative acts. 

How do we help such a person in an active type of way? That’s something else But at least don’t get angry with them. But try to understand. That doesn’t mean to tolerate their behavior though. 

[3g] Those who have fallen from positions of high status

Then the last one in this group is those who have fallen from positions of high status. Many of us might not know presidents or dictators who fall from power, etc., but we certainly might know people who lose their jobs, who are forced to retire early, these types of things, who fall from a high position to a difficult position. Or get involved in a very nasty divorce and they lose their family, their home. These types of things. These are people who really need support and help, even if it’s just on the level of emotional support. 

That’s the third one, not alleviating suffering.

[4] Not teaching the reckless in accordance with their character

The next one is not teaching the reckless in accordance with their character. Reckless (bag-med) persons refer to those who are not conscientious of the laws of behavioral cause and effect and, consequently, whose behavior will bring them unhappiness and problems in this and future lives. This is dealing with what we already have discussed, not helping those who are acting in a reckless way. That would be the alcoholics, the heroin addicts, those who are acting in really very self-destructive ways. 

What do you do? It says to help them in accordance with their character. 

Participant: Step by step.

Dr. Berzin: Step by step? You think of an example. Let’s say somebody who loves hunting: they really like to go out and shoot deer and pheasants and whatever. How do you help somebody like that? They love to fish, and they see absolutely nothing wrong in that. They think it’s a great sport. 

Participant: I always try to find some common phenomenon between the two of us. If they like hunting or if they like fishing, obviously they like nature. So, I try to go at it from another angle, finding a common element that can be a gateway into helping them.

Dr. Berzin: Right. Very, very good. First, we have to find some gateway of commonality with the person, the one who likes hunting or fishing. Obviously, they can’t do that indoors. They do it out of doors. They like nature and being out in nature. So, one could approach them in that way. One could also encourage them to, if they are going to fish or hunt… This is what’s usually described in the text: to gain their confidence (one could even go with them) and say, “Let’s take the fish that we caught and give it to the people in the homeless shelter” or “Don’t just leave them there to rot, the deer that you shot.”

Participant: Or I also, at the very least, I try to convince them to give some sort of blessing and thanks for the animal who has sacrificed its life for them, for whatever they’re doing. If that’s all I can get them to do… I try to get them to do more… (Your example is a specific one that we’ve had experience with.) But if nothing else...

Dr. Berzin: Right. If nothing else, she suggests getting them to say some sort of thanksgiving or thank you to the animal who sacrificed their life for me to have fun killing them. 

Participant: Sincerely so.

Dr. Berzin: Sincerely. That, I think, would be very difficult to convince somebody. I think they would think us really, really crazy.

Participant: You could try anyway.

Dr. Berzin: I mean, you want to try something that’s effective. There’s always this little story that I... I don’t remember where I heard it from. But if there’s a small child who’s fishing and they catch a fish, then you can say to them “What do you think this fish’s mommy and daddy are going to think when the fish doesn’t come home tonight?” Which I think is very sweet. Very sweet. To at least convince them to throw the fish back. Mind you, having a hook ripped out of your mouth is probably not a very nice thing either. 

Participant: That’s what I prefer to say, especially if it’s fishing or things like this. It sometimes happens that they say, “Oh yeah, we should go fishing or something.” Then I like to say something like “Oh yeah, it’s so nice when these small hooks poke out of their eyes and…” [continues in German]

Dr. Berzin: Right. Then he goes to the other extreme, of saying “Yes, let’s go fishing. It’s so much fun when the hook goes through the fish’s mouth and comes out its eye, and pokes out its eye. And then we can smash the fish on the ground, and...”

Participant: There are people who think that’s fun.

Dr. Berzin: Although you might cause people to think how horrible it would be to actually to do that, it might, as you point out, bring out the sadists in some people who actually enjoy that. I don’t know about that. 

Participant: The other problem with hunters is that they have so many rationales, that actually it’s a way to help nature by culling, and all this nonsense.

Dr. Berzin: Right. No, it’s difficult. I remember I was in Poland once for Christmas. The custom was — I don’t know how widespread it was, but at least in this family — was to buy a live fish for the Christmas Eve dinner and keep the fish in the bathtub live, and then right before you’re going to eat it, take the fish and smash it against the side of the bathtub or with a hammer or whatever, and then cook the fish. How do you help them? Do you say, “Oh, this is disgusting. Don’t do this,” and spoil their whole Christmas if this is their custom? I mean, these are the cases that they’re talking about with this vow. What do you do? If you go along with it, you could make remarks about “Not very nice for the fish.”

Participant: I have a story about when we went to Portugal once. Everybody has pigs. We’d just arrived, and then the man said, “It’s good that you’ve come: I sold a pig, but I have to kill it because the man is coming in half an hour. So I have to hunt the pig,” and all these things. The point is that if I hadn’t helped, he would have run after the pig for 20 minutes. It’s really a mess to catch a pig on your own. I helped him with all of that. It was really terrible. But I’d done it before, maybe a few times, so I did my best to make sure that it went really quickly. Because the pig would die anyway. But then afterwards, when we were talking about doing these things, I said: “It’s much better if you buy a machine with a knife and all these things, so it goes really quick.”

Dr. Berzin: Right. Now this is a very good example. Very good example. They go to Portugal quite often. And the custom there, when they arrive in the village, is that the local farmer sells a pig that is going to be killed. He has to kill the pig in order to do that. For what? For you to eat the pig or just to have money to welcome you or what?

Participant: No, no. He sells these pigs from time to time to somebody else in the village. But I just came there when he had to kill this pig.

Dr. Berzin: Oh, I see. I see. It wasn’t that they were killing it for you, but they normally sell their pigs, and they slaughter them, and the guy asked for help in catching the pig and holding the pig down while he slaughtered it. This is difficult for one person to do, and it could be quite messy for the pig and cause a lot of suffering. So, he helped the person catch the pig and encouraged the person to kill the pig in a quicker, more merciful type of way, and then encouraged that there are other ways of slaughtering the animal so that the animal suffers less. 

Yes. That’s a very good example, because you’re introducing the idea of minimizing the suffering to the animal, which then starts to get the person thinking that this is a life. It’s not just some meaningless being, meaningless thing (it’s not even a being), sort of something that you kill, but to start to respect the fact that this is a living being, has feelings, etc., and one doesn’t want to cause it more suffering than is necessary. Yeah, I think this is what we’re talking about here with this vow. 

[5] Not paying back help received

Maybe we have time for just one more. Not paying back help that’s received. If somebody helps us, then if we can help them back, that’s also very important to do. But if we lack the knowledge or the ability or are too weak. (Like, for instance, somebody helps me, and then they need help fixing their car. I have no idea how to fix a car and so I can’t really help them to do something like that.) But then it’s very interesting that if those who have helped us wish nothing in return, we don’t force them to accept our offer. 

What do you do with stubborn old parents who really need our help but refuse to take it? Surely some of you have experienced that example. This is especially true with the generation… I don’t know, most of you are too young for this, but my parents’ generation are from the generation that lived through the great depression of the 1930s and the Second World War. They struggled through these difficult times, and they made it, and they survived, and they don’t need anybody’s help. It’s a very strong characteristic of people of that generation. How do you help them when they refuse our help? Very difficult. 

I have an example of this. One aunt, an old aunt — she’s in her 80s — she’s very sick, has terrible arthritis, can hardly move by herself or do anything, and she’s in and out of the hospital. She’s had so many difficulties. My uncle had died quite a while ago. And she has a boyfriend that she lives with that is in his late 80s and not in the greatest shape either. But they absolutely refuse help. You know, the children (my cousins) have forced them to get somebody that comes in and at least helps my aunt get dressed, because my aunt can’t lift her arms to be able to put clothes on. But he refuses to let this woman do any cooking, to do any cleaning, to do the laundry, to do anything. He will not be helped. They absolutely refuse to go to a nursing home or something like that. What do you do? 

Participant: Not much.

Dr. Berzin: Not much. If they refuse our help, what can you do?

Participant: It’s a waste of energy. 

Dr. Berzin: It’s a waste of energy. But if they really need our help then you have to find devious ways to help them. I mean, at least there is this woman in this house. The guy, my aunt’s partner, won’t let her do anything, but at least she’s there in case my aunt falls or something like that, because he’s certainly much too weak to pick her up and carry her to the bed. You provide something. But these are tough situations. 

There’s also the other side when children don’t want our help as parents. That’s very difficult, isn’t it? They’re going to do it themselves. I know the case of a number of children of very wealthy parents — and often this is the case in Latin America, South America — their parents are very wealthy; they come from very privileged families. Later on, as young adults, they refuse any help from the parents, because they think in terms… that the parents got their money from exploiting the peasants and all this sort of stuff. They don’t want any help. And then they really, really suffer and struggle. They won’t accept any help from their parents. What do you do as a parent?

Participant: I think in the cases of… whether it’s small children or young adult children…

Dr. Berzin: Young adult children.

Participant: Or also the example of the elderly that are very fixed in their ways. I think all of these have a common theme of a sense of identity and not being told what to do, not being told “You need to do this” or “You need to do that” or “You need help in this way.” Then in that sense — well, that’s also related to the ego. You have to sort of trick them and find a way of subverting the ego. Rather than using force and saying, “You need help doing this, that, or the other,” or “You need my monetary help for the children,” or for little children “You need this help” — instead maybe using a different tactic of saying, “I know you probably don’t need this. But just in case you do, I’m going to leave this here and I’m going to go away.” I mean metaphorically speaking. Just saying, “It’s here in case you need it. I know you probably don’t,” and look away really quickly, as if it’s nothing. Then you don’t get into the conflict of their ego and sense of identity; you just let it rest on the table, whatever the help is. Then if they really do need it — I’m saying this all metaphorically — then it alleviates their grip on their identity that they will not accept this help. Do you see what I’m saying?

Dr. Berzin: Yeah. What she’s saying is that a common theme — whether it’s young children, young adults, or older parents or grandparents — is that they have a great deal of ego and identity involved in not wanting to accept help. There’s also pride, you didn’t mention. But they’re too proud to accept help: “I can do it myself,” this type of thing. We have to be a little bit tricky with them — that’s why I said you have to be a little bit sneaky — and say, “I know you don’t really need this, but just in case,” and then you leave something there. Sometimes they’ll take it, and sometimes they won’t. 

I think of the example of rickshaw and taxi drivers in India who ask for an outrageous amount of money at the end of a ride. There’s a whole big argument, and you just offer the normal amount of money that the ride should cost, and they refuse it: “Then I’ll take nothing.” This often happens. So, you just sort of leave the money on the ground or on their taxi and walk away. You better believe that after you walk away, they take the money. 

Sometimes that works. Sometimes with the elderly it might not work. But there are certain things where you have to put the limit, however, and you do have to use force, and force the help… I’m thinking of the example of my aunt who needs to take medication at a certain time every day, several times a day, and that has to be done. And for them to say, “Well, we don’t need any help,” and then they neglect it or forget it — I mean, that’s unacceptable. Again, we have to use our diplomacy and our judgment here. 

Anyway, that brings us to the end of our hour, so we’ll continue this next time. We end with a dedication. Whatever positive force or understanding has come from this, [may it go deeper and deeper and act as cause for reaching enlightenment for the benefit of all.]