We’ve been going through the trainings that are involved with taking safe direction. We are now up to the individual trainings for each of the Three Gems.
Individual Trainings for Each of the Three Gems (Specified in Quintessence Teachings)
The trainings for each of the Three Gems involve three actions to shun and three actions to adopt.
The Three Actions to Shun
The first action that we want to shun is, in spite of taking safe direction from the Buddhas, (1) taking paramount direction from elsewhere. What this commitment specifically is, is not to take ultimate refuge in gods or spirits. So, what does that mean? Are we talking about God, the so-called Creator God? And what does not taking “ultimate” refuge mean? What it means is that, if we seek the help of God or various saints and so on, that's fine as long as they are not ultimate sources of direction for us. Certainly, we can get help and inspiration from any source. The Tibetan Buddhists themselves certainly do protector pujas and things like that and include all sorts of local spirits in that as well. But the main point is that this is not their ultimate refuge. It's a temporary help, a provisional thing.
So, taking safe direction in the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha doesn't mean that we can no longer go to church, to the synagogue, or to another place of worship belonging to a religion that we might have followed before. It just means being clear about what our ultimate refuge is, the ultimate direction we are going in, in our lives – whether we are aiming for rebirth in a Christian heaven or aiming for liberation and enlightenment.
We can also understand this commitment to refer more broadly to mundane things. Is the most important thing in our lives accumulating as many material objects and entertaining experiences as we can? Is it to gain money, fame, and so on? What we are shunning here is not having any of these things at all but having these things be of paramount importance in our lives.
Also, what I think is important when reflecting on these trainings is to think of safe direction more in terms of the true stoppings and true pathway minds, rather than just the good qualities of Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. It makes much more sense, at least to me, to think of the most important thing in life being working on myself, trying to achieve a true stopping of all my problems – the disturbing emotions and karma that drive this uncontrollably recurring rebirth. That and attaining the states of mind that will bring that stopping about is what I'm trying to do, the main direction I’m going in. Everything else is secondary. This, I think, is what this is all about.
Participant: So as beginners, if we are not aware of our thinking, we take refuge in all the things we habitually took refuge in before.
Dr. Berzin: Right. It could be alcohol, drugs, sex. It could be chocolate – small things that we take refuge or comfort in when we're having a difficult time. What do we turn to when we're having a difficult time? We need to examine ourselves and try to identify our habits.
Now, taking some comfort or refuge in these things is all right as long as it’s provisional, meaning that we’re not turning to these things as ultimate sources of direction. I know myself well enough to know that, when I'm feeling bad, having some chocolate temporarily makes me feel a little better. Some people take refuge in sleep. “If I take a nap, it'll pass.” But it's not our ultimate solution. That's the point.
Participant: It also depends on how much attachment you do it with.
Dr. Berzin: And it also depends on how much awareness you do it with – whether you understand that this is a provisional measure only and that, ultimately, it is meaningless.
So let’s examine ourselves to see what we actually do. Are we working on ourselves, working to overcome our shortcomings, our problems, by developing the various qualities of the Dharma, such as compassion and correct understanding. Is that what we try to do when we’re feeling low, when we’re having difficulty? And let's not think just in terms of big disasters because, at the time of big disasters, we tend to turn toward the Dharma more. It's also the little things, the little daily ups and downs that we need not to lose sight of.
[meditation]
The next action to shun is, in spite of taking safe direction from the Dharma, (2) causing harm or mischief to humans or animals. Here, we're not just talking about beating people up or shooting them, or going hunting or fishing. There are many lesser forms of causing harm or mischief. Can you think of ways?
Participant: Choice of your profession?
Dr. Berzin: Well, yes. But that gets into another topic, that of right livelihood. The whole point of right livelihood is, of course, to try not to cause harm to others. But what about situations such as those you find in the countryside in Australia or New Zealand where the only profession is raising sheep for wool and for meat – so, having to slaughter sheep? As Khenzur Ugyen Tseten explained (I was translating for him in Australia and that question was asked), if there's absolutely no other profession and it's not feasible to move, the main thing is at least to be honest in your work and to be as compassionate as possible to the animals. So, one has to have a little bit of flexibility. Of course, if you have a choice of profession, you do something else.
But what about saying things that hurt people? What about holding a grudge or ignoring somebody?
Participant: When I’m driving the taxi in the city and somebody cuts me off, it’s very easy to develop very nasty thoughts toward that person, to wish that something horrible happens to them.
Dr. Berzin: Right. There are many ways of causing or wishing to cause harm to others.
What other ways are there of causing harm to animals? Does that include insects?
Participant: They're small, so they don't count.
Dr. Berzin: No. That's not so. Again, if there are flies, mosquitoes, or whatever in the room, we try to catch them and bring them outside without harming or killing them. We try that as our first way of dealing with them, rather than just swatting them.
Participant: What seems more relevant to me is dealing with situations where I get irritated with other people – for example, when I’m waiting in a queue and people get aggressive or don't act in the way that I want. Most of us at least have our bodies and speech under control so that we don't express our hostility and anger; however, we still have negative thoughts toward others.
Dr. Berzin: Right. Especially when we’re in a situation that makes us impatient – like being in a queue at a store and the person in front of you wants to pay with a credit card for an item that costs five cents, so it takes several minutes for them to make the transaction.
If we are taking our ultimate direction from the Dharma, we are trying to develop patience and tolerance and to have compassion for everyone, and also love – the wish for everyone to be happy – so that they are able to pay the five cents with their credit card and so on.
Let's examine ourselves to see how seriously we take this and whether there are areas in our lives in which we are still causing harm or wishing harm to humans or animals. Also, if we see that we are causing harm in some way, we strongly resolve to try to avoid that: “That’s not the direction I want to go in – being nasty to everybody and having nasty thoughts. I want to try to correct that, rather than indulge in it. That’s the direction I’m going in.”
[meditation]
The next one is, in spite of taking safe direction from the Sangha, (3) associating closely with negative people. So, we have to examine what this means. If our model is the Arya Sangha, the highly realized beings, which is the Sangha that we're talking about, who would be the negative people? And why would we not want to associate closely with them?
Participant: I think the negative people we wouldn’t want to associate with are primarily those who trigger our disturbing emotions – our anger, attachment, lust, and so on.
Dr. Berzin: I don't know that that is always the case – although it might be the case with those who trigger our anger and lust. But those who trigger our jealousy, for instance, might have good qualities and could be good influences on us. Well, we could also say that those who trigger our anger could become objects for us to develop patience. So, I think that we're talking about those who could be bad influences on us.
Participant: We adopt their vision, in a sense.
Dr. Berzin: It's people who can easily influence us if we are not strong. We might look to them as role models.
Now, "associating closely" – what does that mean? I think this point is about the kind of company we keep by choice. Obviously, if we were in the army, in a prison, or something like that, and everybody around us was being extremely rowdy, there would be no way to avoid them. We would just have to make the best of the situation. But here, I think, we are talking about the people that we choose to hang out with as our close friends. Most of us are strongly influenced by the company we keep by choice. We don't choose the people who are in the office or in our classes at school. So, who are the people that we’re going to hang out with?
Participant: Also, it's a question of what “close” means.
Dr. Berzin: “Close” is something that changes in life, and it also means something different in different cultures. When we are young, we hang out with our friends much more than when we are older – particularly if we are married and have a family; then we don't hang out with other people terribly much. We might meet friends only once a week or once a month. I’m sure that in certain cultures, like Mexico, for example, people get together more frequently. Certainly in India people get together more frequently.
A situation that I think is quite relevant for a lot of people is having a set of friends that they’ve either grown up with or associated with for a long time – and then they turn to Buddhism. What do you do with these old friends who are into, let's say, getting drunk, partying all the time, or whatever? Do you dump your old friends because they are negative influences on you and turn just to the people at the Dharma center who are intensely boring and with whom you have nothing in common, except for the fact that you go to the Dharma center?
Participant: It would be terrible just to choose friends who are Buddhist.
Dr. Berzin: Right. That gets very sectarian, doesn't it?
Participant: It's very interesting to be with people who have other lives, who speak about other things, and so on.
Dr. Berzin: Right. But we're talking about those who would have a negative influence on us and turn us from our direction in life.
Participant: So, then we get back to the starting point, the one Jorge brought up – that those who would have a negative influence on us are those who would trigger our disturbing emotions.
Dr. Berzin: I think it’s not so much our disturbing emotions but our negative habits. “Negative habits,” I think, is a better way of formulating it. It’s those who are what are called “misleading friends” – those who say, "Come on, don't go to the Dharma center. Don't meditate. Let's go out and get drunk, instead."
If we have old friends who are negative, we don't then take on an arrogant, holier-than-thou attitude toward them. But that doesn't mean that we have to hang out with them either. And if we’ve stopped drinking, for example, we make it quite clear that we have stopped. If we go out with them and they offer us a drink, we say, no. We make it quite clear that we don't drink. If they are really our friends, they will accept that. But if they have this attitude, which we find in some countries, that "if you’re my friend, you drink!" – because, to them, it's an insult if you don't drink – then, I think, we really have to avoid them. This is the type of thing we're talking about here – closely associating with people who would have negative influences on us, always having to drink with them, and so on.
So, let’s examine ourselves a little bit in terms of this. Who are our close friends? Are these people positive influences on us or negative ones? If we were to spend a lot of time with them, how would we be affected? Would they detract or turn us away from our spiritual paths?
Participant: We’re not talking about family, right?
Dr. Berzin: Well, that gets into another type of situation. If you're in a bad marriage and your partner is very negative about the spiritual path you’re on, how do you deal with that? That's a difficult one, especially when there are children involved.
Some young people are in a situation in which they can't afford to live on their own and have to stay with parents who are very negative influences on them, who are very negative about their spiritual path, and so on. How do you deal with that? These are not easy situations. I know people in that type of situation. One can train in patience – but that's difficult. So, this is not exactly an easy training to put into practice when we're dealing with family and are in economic situations that force us to stay with them.
Now, one could use all these circumstances for training one's mind. But I must add: it’s only when we are strong in our Dharma practice that we are able to do so. When we are beginners and, therefore, weak in it, then no. Remember what it says in Thirty Seven Bodhisattva Practices: When those we are with cause our attachment, anger, and so on to increase, we must leave our homeland. It's only the most advanced practitioners who can come back and, as they say, practice in the busy crossroads where there's a lot of noise and distraction.
Participant: It's actually rare to be able to spend time with people of one’s own choice.
Dr. Berzin: That's true. However, this is what we're talking about, here.
It’s also the case that some people live in very remote places where there are no Dharma centers or even other people interested in spiritual things. One can't just say to them, "Well, move to some place where there are more opportunities." They don't have the economic freedom to move. So, then the question is, does one spend more time alone, rather than be with those who might be negative influences? These are very tough questions, and there are no easy answers. But, again, this point isn’t saying not to associate with those who exert a negative influence on us; it's saying not to closely associate with them.
Why don't we take one or two minutes to think about this?
[meditation]
The Three Actions to Adopt
The next set has to do with the three actions to adopt as a sign of respect. These are honoring (4) all statues, paintings, and other artistic depictions of buddhas, (5) all books, especially concerning the dharma, (6) all persons with Buddhist monastic vows, and even their robes.
So we want to show respect not only to Dharma books but books in general – which, by the way, would also mean not wrapping our garbage in newspaper.
Signs of disrespect are stepping on or over such objects, sitting or standing on them, placing them on the floor without at least putting a piece of cloth beneath them. In other words, we never put Dharma books directly on the ground or the floor. We always put a cloth under them. The point is to show respect for the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha. It's not that we're worshipping these things: we’re showing respect for the things that represent the Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha.
Questioning the Value of Honoring All Printed Material, Not Just Dharma Material
Participant: Does not wrapping our garbage in newspaper mean we have to show respect to trashy, sensationalist newspapers?
Dr. Berzin: It's not the newspaper: it's the printed word. In order to be absolutely strict about this, one would burn anything that is written, including newspaper. However, we can't, in a city, go outside and burn these things.
Participant: We can put it in the recycling.
Dr. Berzin: Yes. Putting it in the recycling bin is better than using it as toilet paper, for example. The point is to show respect.
Participant: What’s so important about the written word?
Dr. Berzin: The written word represents the Dharma. It's through the written word that one reads the Dharma, learns the Dharma, and transmits the Dharma to others – obviously, also through the spoken word.
Participant: Yeah, but with the written word, one can also read bullshit.
Dr. Berzin: Right. But we're not talking about the content, here. We're talking about the medium. It's the same thing with visual representations. They say that even if a child draws a very bad picture of a Buddha, you must not criticize it. You could criticize the artwork, but not the Buddha. Similarly, you could criticize the content of the written word. The point is to have respect for the written word.
Participant: That would be like respecting all statues, no matter who the statues represent.
Dr. Berzin: No. It's not respecting all statues, just statues of Buddha.
Participant: What about the advertisement section in newspapers that’s selling televisions or something like that? Do we need to recycle it, or can we use it to wrap our garbage?
Dr. Berzin: That's our point: we're not talking about the content. No matter what it is, we recycle it.
Participant: I don't understand why the medium itself is something to show respect to. It's just a medium. And it's a medium for everything. It's a neutral medium. It has nothing to do with Dharma.
Dr. Berzin: So, you would prefer to have this respect shown only to Dharma material?
Participant: Yes. That's a stipulation I could easily follow.
Participant: I think that this is a historical thing, because in the ancient times, something that was written was precious. And I think the Jews had this special paper. So, every scratch of paper was so valuable.
Dr. Berzin: We're not talking about the paper. We're talking about the printed word.
Participant: In ancient times, they kept any sort of written word in special places.
Dr. Berzin: Right. I think that’s the general attitude toward books. You don't sit on books, for example. It doesn't matter what the book is. Even the telephone book – you wouldn't sit or stand on it.
Participant: I don't know that, in our times, this idea makes sense. Besides, it’s mostly not Dharma books that we have around us. In general, it’s newspapers and all these trashy things.
Dr. Berzin: I am obviously not going to be able to convince you, so there's not point in arguing. All I can do is repeat over and over again that we're not talking about the content.
You object to the fact of the medium. Why, then, does it say in the teachings that you should show the same respect to the teacher who taught you the alphabet and how to read as you show to the teacher who teaches you Dharma? It’s because it was through that teaching that you were able to learn to read the Dharma. Through that teaching, you are also able to read how to poison somebody. So, it doesn't matter what you use that for. You show respect, regardless of the fact that it could be used for something negative.
It’s the same thing for monks and nuns. It doesn't matter if they don't keep their discipline or anything like that; you still show respect. And you show respect for the robes, even if they belong to some terribly undisciplined monk or nun. You don't step on robes.