Recap
We are studying this text, Wheel of Sharp Weapons, which deals with attitude training: how to train our attitude about things so that we get rid of the negative attitude and develop a positive attitude. In particular, we’re dealing with a practice known as giving and taking, which means to take away the suffering of others and give them happiness. In this text, the big problem that we have to overcome is the problem of selfishness: being self-centered, self-cherishing. We think, “I’m the only important one,” “I’m the only one that matters,” and we forget about everybody else. The first part of the text, which we’ve just finished, is speaking about the different problems that come to us. These problems come as a result of our previous actions – our karma – and the text pointed out what the cause can be in our behavior for experiencing these problems. First, we decide that we’re going to stop repeating the cause so that we don’t experience any more of this type of suffering. Then we think of everybody who has the same problem, and we think to try to solve this problem – not just for myself but for everybody. We think to take on this problem from everybody and give them the same solution: the same change in behavior, the same happiness that we would achieve ourselves from that. When we look at this type of problem, which is the self-cherishing attitude, we see that basically the problem revolves about a misconception: a false view, a false understanding of “me” and the self. We need to understand more clearly, more precisely, how we really exist.
In Buddhism, we speak about conventional self and conventional “me,” and the false ego. In Western psychology, we speak about a healthy sense of ego or a healthy ego, and an inflated ego. What we want to overcome is this inflated ego: this false “me” that we think is the center of the universe, the most important, the only one who has problems, and with which we only think about ourselves. This is when we have this false view about the “me.” What we think is that I exist independently of everything else – independent of body, independent of mind, independent of emotions. It’s as if there is some separate “me” – maybe inside my head – that I worry about, and have to prove, and feel threatened about, as if there were a separate “me” as some sort of king inside us. But this is not the way that we actually exist.
The way that we exist is in terms of what’s called mental labeling. That’s not so easy to explain. In other words, we have every moment of our experience, and in every moment of our experience there is a moment of mind, of consciousness. There are objects, sights, sounds, emotions, feelings – all these things going on, and we can say “me” in reference to that; but the “me” isn’t something separate that’s experiencing it. “Me” is just a way of organizing or referring to the whole thing. We view things, of course, in terms of “me,” but the problem is that we view it in terms of a “me” that’s separate from the whole thing and is then the most important one. But every moment of experience follows from after another just from cause and effect: cause and effect from our previous habits, and also from the influence and the conditions of other people, the environment, etc. All of that brings about the next moment, and we experience it as “me:” “I’m seeing,” “I’m talking,” “I feel happy,” “I feel unhappy.” That’s just a way, in a sense, of referring to the whole process.
Now, the next part of the text; as I said, we just finished the first part.
Grasping for a “True Self”
Verse 49 in the old translation:
As it’s true what I’ve said about self-centered interest, I recognize clearly my enemy now. I recognize clearly the bandit who plunders, the liar who lures by pretending he’s part of me; oh, what relief that I’ve conquered this doubt!
Literally, what the verse says:
That really is the way that it is! So, I’ve caught the enemy! I’ve caught the thieving bandit, who laid in ambush and deceived me, the fraud who, disguised as “me,” then cheated me! Aha! This is grasping at a “true self!” There is no doubt!
What the author is saying here is that it’s clear that the problem is coming from self-cherishing, from grasping at solid, separate “me” – some solid thing inside us. “That’s really the way it is! I’ve caught the enemy!” – the enemy is this false “me”. Shantideva, the great Indian master, spoke a lot about that: the real enemy are the disturbing emotions and the misconceptions that we have about ourselves that we keep inside us. “I’ve caught the enemy! I’ve caught the thieving bandit, who laid an ambush and deceived me.” This false “me” is a bandit because it steals from us all our opportunities to gain liberation and enlightenment by causing us to act destructively, by causing us to have disturbing emotions. It steals our chance for a better rebirth, it steals our chance for happiness and just causes us to have more and more unhappiness and more and more problems. It “laid an ambush and deceived me”– the false “me” is hiding in our mind, waiting to come out and to cause us problems. This false “me” disguises as the real me, but it’s not the real me; it’s tricked me into thinking that this is “me.”
“Aha! This is ego-grasping!” – this is grasping for a solid “me.” “There is no doubt!” about that: I don’t have any more doubts about that, I’ve caught the enemy. Now, this a very important point that really is not so easy to recognize in our daily life when we’re thinking of ourselves in terms of this solid “me.” That’s really the enemy, the thief: “I have to have my way,” “I’m the most important,” “You’re not doing what I want” – this type of thinking with the solid “me.” “Everybody should do what I want,” “Everybody should be like I want them to be” – and we don’t look at things from point of view of anybody else. That false “me” hides itself and pretends; we think that that’s the real me, and then, of course, we act on that basis, and we get angry with somebody: “Why didn’t you call me?” “Why didn’t you do this?” “Why didn’t you do that?” “Why did you say that?” It’s important to try to recognize when we’re thinking of ourselves in terms of this false “me”, this inflated sense of the self, and are acting on the basis of that; and to recognize that this is really the enemy. This is my enemy. That’s what we’re going to come upon in the next verses.
In the next big section, the author Dharmarakshita is going to point out all sorts of difficult problems that we face: we expect this to happen, but that happens; we want that to happen, but something terrible happens instead. The source for that is this grasping for a solid “me,” so smash it! The author is going to use very forceful language here because in fact you can’t be nice with this false “me”. This false “me”, if you’re nice to, it just comes in, takes over, and so you have to be very strict. The image of this strictness is going to be Yamantaka. Yamantaka is the name of a Buddha figure which is the forceful form of Manjushri. Manjushri embodies the wisdom, clarity of mind, the understanding of all the Buddhas, in a gentle form. Then there is a much more forceful form which is really strong: “Smash that ignorance! Smash that naivety! Don’t play around!” This is this very strong figure Yamantaka. The author is going to call upon Yamantaka. We think of Yamantaka is something external, but we can also think of Yamantaka in terms of the nature of our own mind: our own wisdom with which we’re going to be very strict with ourselves. When we start to act under the influence of this false “me”, and we’re believing that that’s who I really am – “I’m the center of the universe,” “I’m the one that everybody should pay attention to,” “Everybody should stop everything they’re doing when I ask them to do something, stop everything they’re doing when I call them on my mobile phone, because I’m the most important one, of course” – this wisdom within us has to be very strict, like Yamantaka. It has to take on the form of Yamantaka and just stop it.
When we make this distinction – this difference between the false “me” and the conventional “me” – it is important that we don’t lose the conventional “me” and think I don’t exist. We do exist. On the basis of the conventional “me” – in the West, what we call a healthy ego – we take care of ourselves, we find a job, we dress in the morning, we take care of our children – whatever we need to do. It’s very important not to lose the sense of the conventional “me” when we try to get rid of this belief in the false “me”. The false “me” is an inflation of the conventional “me;” it’s a projection.
Understanding the Two Truths
The next verse, verse 50, in the poetical version:
And so Yamantaka, spin round with great power the wheel of sharp weapons of good actions now. Three times turn it round, in your wrathful-like aspect your legs set apart for the two grades of truth, with your eyes blazing open for wisdom and means.
So that’s the poetical one, and actually one line from the next thing. I’m reading that one as well:
Baring your fangs of the four great opponents, devour the foe – our cruel selfish concern!
So, the more literal version:
Now, (Yamantaka,) raise over your head the sharp weapon of your actions! Circle it three times round your head in a forceful way! Plant your two feet wide apart for the two truths! Glare with your eyes wide open for method and wisdom! Bare your fangs for the four forces and pierce the foe!
Remember, we were speaking in the earlier part of the text about karma and the results of our negative karmic actions – our various types of sufferings and problematic situations that we face – and so here we want to call upon Yamantaka. He has this sharp weapon, and he is going to smash our karma to allow us to overcome and stop creating more karma. Karma is a very complicated topic and not so simple to explain in just a few sentences but, basically, we act in a certain way based on this grasping for a strong “me” and the disturbing emotions that come from that. We act in a destructive way – it can also be in a constructive way – but because of ego, and as a result it builds up a certain habit, a certain tendency in our minds, on our mental continuums, that is going to continue in future lives as well. It doesn’t ripen instantly – there is no such thing as instant karma – but eventually what happens is that these tendencies and habits get activated, and when they get activated, it produces many things. It produces feeling either happy or unhappy. The happiness that we feel doesn’t last and never satisfies, so that even our happiness is a problem, or it produces unhappiness – pain, suffering. What was mentioned here in the text is our experiencing of certain situations in which things happen to us that are similar to what we did to others.
Of course, that also depends on the conditions of other people’s karma, so they act that way toward us. It’s not that our karma makes other people act in certain ways toward us. It’s just that we get into situations that fit with other people’s karmic tendencies. If we’ve been very cruel, then in a sense we’re almost attracted to other people who are going to be cruel toward us. Their being cruel, of course, comes from their own karma, but our being in this meeting with each other – that’s from our karma. Not only do we experience things similar to what we’ve done to others happening to us, which is what was spoken about in the first half of the text, but we also tend to repeat the same type of behavior – we have that tendency to continue to be cruel.
What we want to do here is stop this whole cycle, and the way to stop it is to get rid of the unawareness with which we believe in this false “me”, this solid “me.” This is because that belief in that solid “me” activates the karmic tendencies so that we experience all these terrible things, and also it causes us to repeat it again. This sharp weapon against karma is – what is explained in the next lines – is basically the understanding of compassion and wisdom, to put it very simply. It says, “Now, (Yamantaka,) raise over your head the sharp weapon of your actions!” There was this sharp weapon of karma – what we called the throwing star weapon – and that what it’s talking about here: the throwing star weapon that, when doing a karmic action, comes back to us like a boomerang. What Yamantaka is holding is the sharp weapon that will destroy that karma. It says here, “Circle it three times round your head in a forceful way!” The three times are for method, wisdom, and then both method and wisdom together.
What is the method? What we’re speaking about is relative bodhichitta. Relative bodhichitta is based on love – you want others to be happy and to have causes for happiness; compassion – we want them to be free of suffering, and unhappiness, and free of the causes for that; and we take responsibility to actually help them to achieve this. “I’m going to really do it myself,” and then we see that the only way that we can do that is if we ourselves become a Buddha. We aim to become a Buddha – that’s what bodhichitta is about. It’s a mind that’s aimed at our future enlightenment, which hasn’t happened yet, but which can happen on the basis of our Buddha-nature. It’s the strong intention to achieve it and, by means of that, to really help others as much as possible. All of this is based on cherishing others, wishing them to be happy and not to suffer. This is the first circling: the understanding that will help us to get rid of the self-cherishing. In other words, if we cherish others, and want to help them to achieve enlightenment – that is the opponent of the self-cherishing.
Then the second circling is the understanding of voidness. Voidness means an absence – an absence of impossible ways of existing. We think we exist in an impossible way. We believe in that, and that’s not referring to anything real – it’s impossible. Voidness is the absence of that, and with that we will get rid of the ego-grasping. These are the two things which we want to get rid of: the self-cherishing, which we get rid of with relative bodhichitta; and the ego-grasping, which we get rid of with what’s called the deepest bodhichitta side – that’s the understanding of voidness. Then we want to have the two together. The three times of circling are for these three things: method, wisdom, and the two together.
Then, “Plant your two feet wide apart for the two truths” – Yamantaka is this very fierce figure that stands on two feet, in a very firm type of way, and the right foot is for relative bodhichitta, and the left foot is for voidness and the understanding of voidness. Again, the two truths are referring to what’s called the superficial truth and the deepest truth. There are two facts about things. The superficial truth is what something is; the superficial truth is that “This is a table.” The deepest truth is that this is voidness; it doesn’t exist in impossible ways. An impossible way would be, “This is my table, don’t use it!” – that it’s a solid thing that is going to last forever and belongs to me. Actually, the table has arisen from causes and conditions – wood and so on; it’s going to fall apart; it may be that it’s a table, but it could also be a chair – I could sit on it; I could burn it, so it’s firewood; I could eat it, if I’m a termite. So, it doesn’t exist in this impossible way of the big plastic coating around it – “This is my table” or “This is a beautiful piece of furniture” or, “This is a piece of junk” or, “This is antique” – that we hold on to solidly. We need to understand the two truths: superficially, it’s a table, and we call it “a table.” What’s a table? This thing. But on the deepest level, it doesn’t exist in this impossible, inflated way. These are the two truths.
Then, “Glare with your eyes wide open for method and wisdom!” – so again we’re talking about the same thing: that wisdom is the two truths, the two bodhichittas. It’s saying “with your eyes” – the two eyes means that it’s balanced; the two eyes are balanced so method and wisdom are balanced together. “Bare your fangs for the four forces and pierce the foe!” Yamantaka has these four fangs, and this is for the four opponent forces. Remember, this is a weapon against karma, and so the four opponent forces are on the basis of acknowledging that the negative things we did were a mistake: “It was a mistake that I made, I acted out of confusion,” and so on. The four opponents are, first of all, regret. Regret means that I wish I hadn’t done that. It’s not the same as guilt. For example, I ate food, it made me sick, and I wish I hadn’t done that, I regret that. It’s not that I’m a bad person. Guilt is thinking, “I’m a bad person, what I did was bad,” and then we hold on and never let go. So, first regret, and then the promise to ourselves that we’re going to try to not repeat the negative action that we did: “It’s a mistake, I regret that and will try not to do it again.”
Then we reaffirm our basis of what we’re doing in life. The basis is refuge, which talks about the safe direction that we’re going in our life. We’re working to overcome our weaknesses and shortcomings and realize all our potentials so that we can help others the best, and the bodhichitta aim for enlightenment so that we really can help everybody the best. We reaffirm: “This is my basis. This is what I am doing with my life.” Then the fourth fang is the counteracting things: we try to do positive things to counterbalance the negative things that we’ve done. So, we have the fangs, and the foe, which is the karma, or the ignorance with which we’ve built up all this negative karma. This is the image of Yamantaka; Yamantaka is much more complex than that but here it’s only speaking about a very simple form of Yamantaka and what the various aspects of this figure stand for. When we have these various figures in Buddhism, basically it’s just a way of representing various understandings and attainments of the mind, of putting it in some graphic form so that it’s easier to hold it all together. These images can be quite strong and they’re very helpful for a lot of people.
So, this is Yamantaka:
Now, (Yamantaka,) raise over your head the sharp weapon of your actions! Circle it three times round your head in a forceful way! Plant your two feet wide apart for the two truths! Glare with your eyes wide open for method and wisdom! Bare your fangs for the four forces and pierce the foe!
We’re quite strong with ourselves. Let’s just think about this for a moment.
Now, (Yamantaka,) raise over your head the sharp weapon of your actions! Circle it three times round your head in a forceful way! Plant your two feet wide apart for the two truths! Glare with your eyes wide open for method and wisdom! Bare your fangs for the four forces and pierce the foe!
Let’s end with the dedication. We think whatever understanding we gained, may it go deeper and deeper, and what positive form has come from this, may it get stronger and stronger and act as a cause for reaching enlightenment for the benefit of all.