Benefits of Properly Relating to a Spiritual Mentor and Risks of Not Doing So

Tsongkhapa has said in his Abbreviated Points of the Graded Path (Lam-rim bsdus-don), 9: 

Then, seeing that the root most appropriate for the dependent arising of the hugest networks (of positive force and deep awareness) for this and future lives is relying properly, with effort and with thought and action, on a hallowed spiritual mentor who indicates the path, let me please (him) by offering my practice in accord with his enlightening words, which I wouldn’t forsake even at the cost of my life.

The ennobling, impeccable lama has practiced like that. Let me, too, who strives for liberation, cultivate myself in the same way.

The Benefits of Relating to a Spiritual Mentor in a Healthy Manner

Geshe Potowa (dGe-bshes Po-to-ba Rin-chen-gsal) has said:

If we need a teacher to show us (something simple like) carpentry, how much more so (do we need one to show us) how to reach enlightenment, especially as we have just arrived out of the three worse rebirth states.

The three worse rebirth states are as a trapped being in a joyless realm (dmyal-ba-pa, Skt. nairayika, hell creature), a clutching ghost (yi-dags, Skt. preta, hungry ghost) or as a creeping creature (dud-’gro, Skt. tiryak, animal). 

Since it is essential to have a mentor and guide to lead us personally through our spiritual journey, our attitude toward him or her is very important. We must have proper respect and a wholehearted commitment.

There are eight commonly listed benefits of holding such an attitude: 

1. We will come closer to enlightenment. 
2. We will please all the Buddhas. 
3. We will become impervious to demonic forces and misleading friends. 
4. Our disturbing emotions and our faulty behavior will automatically be curtailed. 
5. We will gain ever higher arya bodhisattva levels of mind and pathway minds (sa-lam, Skt. bhūmi-mārga, grounds and paths), as well as meditative experiences and stable realizations. 
6. We will never have a poverty of spiritual mentors in all future lives. 
7. We will not fall to any of the worse rebirth states. 
8. All our provisional and ultimate goals will effortlessly be realized.

[1] If we are whole-heartedly committed to our spiritual mentor and friend, we will zealously follow his guideline instructions and try to please him as much as we can. Putting the Dharma measures into practice as he teaches will bring us closer to realizing our fullest potential, and the more committed we are, the more we will listen to what our teacher tells us to do. Thus, we will happily build up enlightenment-building networks of both positive force (bsod-nams, Skt. puṇya, merit) and deep awareness (ye-shes, Skt. jñāna, wisdom). Likewise, we will purify ourselves of our negativities and unawareness. Such a process of collecting and cleansing will quickly and naturally bring us to our goal of Buddhahood.

[2] Spiritual teachers are personal representatives of the Buddhas, manifest in human form to benefit all limited beings (sems-can, Skt. sattva, sentient beings). Providing us with a living example of what it means to realize all the teachings, they help eliminate our interpolations. Relating to our spiritual mentor in a healthy manner pleases all the Buddhas, just as courtesy and respect paid to an ambassador gratifies the people of the country he represents. Balancing the kindness of our spiritual mentor by following his teachings delights the Buddhas in the same way that showing kindness to a child brings his parents great joy.

[3] When we are overcome by adversities, hindrances, obstacles, demonic forces or the detrimental influence of bad company or misleading friends, this is because we have not built up a sufficiently stable positive karmic force that would make us strong enough to ward off such harm.

Geshe Potowa has explained that misleading friends do not necessarily have horns, fangs and wear a black cape of matted yak-hair. They are people who, out of attachment for us, tell us not to give up everything, that only this much is surely enough. In this way they cause us to waste our whole life in meaningless or destructive behavior. They draw us away from our positive practices and plunge us deeper into samsara and its uncontrollably recurring, unsatisfying situations. 

Gungthang Rinpoche (Gung-thang dKon-mchog bstan-pa’i sgron-me) has said in A Guide for Pathways of Mind Leading to the Isle of Jewels (mDo-sngags-kyi gzhung-la slob-gnyen byed-tshul-gyi bslab-bya nor-bu’i gling-du bgrod-pa’i lam-yig), 6:

Someone we call a misleading friend does not have horns. Rather he is someone who, justifying himself (by saying he) cares for us and wishes to be of help, entices us off, with a smile on his face, to some merry, frivolous diversion and gets us involved in something reckless. This is a misleading friend. Avoid him like the plague, you hear? 

Togme Zangpo (rGyal-sras Thogs-med bzang-po) has likewise said in Thirty-seven Bodhisattva Practices (rGyal-sras lag-len so-bdun-ma), 5:

A bodhisattva’s practice is to rid ourselves of bad friends with whom, when we associate, our three poisonous emotions come to increase; our actions of listening, thinking, and meditating come to decrease; and our love and compassion turn to nil. 

Relating to our spiritual mentor in a healthy manner is one of the best methods for building up a network of positive force. As a result of our commitment, we become strong in our spiritual practice, and this is what actually protects us from all negative influences. As Tilopa has told Naropa:

When you relate to your spiritual mentor in a healthy manner, you need no other protectors. Simply request, and he can help you in any predicament. It is when you do not realize this that you run here and there seeking protection.

Once there was a mother and her son. Sometimes the little boy wondered whether his mother wasn’t actually a witch (srin-mo, Skt. rākṣasī). He would stay up at night as late as he could and try to observe her. Several times two or three strange ladies would come and fly away, drawing his mother seated on a box behind them.

The son was very curious, and so one night he climbed into the box and kept very still. The women came and, as usual, flew off with their charge. They landed in an eerie cemetery where his very own mother was the chief witch! The other witches had just killed a victim and offered a bowl of fresh brains to the astonished lad’s mother. Since she had forgotten her spoon, she asked the others to fetch it for her. They told her, “Stretch out your long arm.” She stretched out her arm, which reached all the way back to the house, and took the spoon. After she finished her treat, the others drew her and the box back to the house.

The next morning, the mother was spinning yarn on the roof, and something fell off. She asked her son to go down and fetch it. He said, without realizing what he was doing, “Stretch out your long arm!” She became furious that her son might know that she was a witch. Catching him by the ears, she pulled them as hard as she could, while muttering a spell, and turned him into a dog!

Although physically canine, mentally he was still a human. Very upset, he ran to see Langri Tangpa, a famous Kadampa geshe. This master confessed to the dog that he could not do anything. However, he wrapped up some gold, tied it to the hound’s neck and told him to go to Lhasa and see Ra Lotsawa (Rva Lo-tsa-ba rDo-rje grags). He would have the ability to change him back into a boy.

The dog traveled for many days, and meanwhile Ra Lotsawa, with his clairvoyant powers of advanced awareness, saw the entire situation. He had a special torma made to dispel interference and sent a disciple to watch for the guest. The disciple said he saw nobody coming, but there was a motley mongrel frantically running toward the house. “Oh, that is my guest,” the master exclaimed.

When the dog reached the house, Ra Lotsawa threw the torma at his head. As soon as it hit him, the hound fainted, and when he awoke, he was transformed back into the little boy. He was so happy, especially as his new-found protector told him he could stay. However, he must never do anything without asking for the master’s guidance.

Meanwhile, the mother heard her son was changed back to a boy, and this disturbed her greatly. She decided to kill him and sent a disguised present with black magic in it. She attached a letter saying how happy she was that he was studying with a famous teacher, and that here was some of his favorite food.

The boy was delighted to receive the package and was just about to open it when he remembered his master’s warning. He went at once and asked permission. Ra Lotsawa said, “Well done, my lad. Now you may open it, but first put on my cloak and take the parcel outside in those ruins over there.”

When he did as he was told and opened the box, it exploded and burst the ruins’ walls. He, however, was left untouched. His master told him, “Now the witches can no longer harm you.” In this way, his commitment to his teacher saved him from danger.

[4] Wholeheartedly committed to following our mentor’s Dharma teachings, we are open to learning the actual methods for eliminating our disturbing emotions and developing constructive habits. Moreover, the closer we live to him and the more contact we have on an everyday level, the more we will examine our own life in light of his example. Every one of his actions, even his joking, is done with a purpose: to benefit others. We, on the other hand, waste all our time with such senseless habits as compulsive smoking, drinking, chattering, exaggerating and engaging in frivolous and flippant behavior. We will naturally indulge less in such mindless habits the more respectful and committed we become toward our master.

[5] Relating to our spiritual mentor in a healthy manner is a great source of both positive force and deep awareness. Serving him with a caring attitude (bag-yod, Skt. apramāda) provides us with abundant opportunities for gaining meditative experiences and stable realizations concerning the state of our minds and what we must develop. Through these we will make sound progress in achieving the pathway minds that lead to our goals as well as the ever-higher spiritual levels on the way. This will occur, however, only to the extent that we actually work to build up the beneficial habits we learn from our teacher. Because Milarepa spent six years wholeheartedly serving his master Marpa, he was able to realize his highest potential in his very lifetime.

[6] When we build up a strong habit of being sincerely committed to our teacher, this makes a deep impression on our minds. By the laws of behavioral cause and effect, we create a positive karmic force to meet and serve such teachers again in all future lives. Furthermore, Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche has said:

If we hold our spiritual mentor in high esteem, then when we ourselves become a teacher, we will be respected by our disciples.

[7] A wandering rebirth in any of the three worse states as a trapped being in a joyless realm, a clutching ghost or as a creeping creature is the unfortunate consequence of previously committed destructive actions. Even if we have built up the negative karmic force for such a rebirth, still our wholehearted commitment to a spiritual mentor can build up enough positive karmic force to counteract this effect. For instance, the problems and suffering that we might have had to endure in a worse future rebirth can be reduced and exhausted in this life in the form of a minor illness.

When we look at the enlightening biography of Milarepa, we see how Marpa the translator beat and scolded him, made him build multi-storied towers and then tear them back down, never gave him teachings at first, kicked him out of empowering initiations and so on. Marpa did all this not for his own sadistic amusement, but only to help Milarepa eliminate the negative karmic forces built up from his earlier practice of black magic. By creating circumstances for these karmic forces to ripen now into relatively minor hardships, Marpa exhausted their power so they would not lead his disciple to a disastrous rebirth [as cited by Tsangnyon Heruka (gTsang-smyon He-ru-ka) in “The Enlightening Biography of Jetsun Milarepa” (rNal-’byor-gyi dbang-phyug dam-pa rje-btsun Mi-la ras-pa’i rnam-thar thar-pa-dang thams-cad mkhyen-pa’i lam-ston)].

Whenever Geshe Lhazowa (Lha-bzo-ba) met his own teacher, the wise Tolungpa (sTod-lung-pa chen-po rin-chen snying-po), he received only scoldings. His own disciple Nyagmowa (Nyag-mo-ba) decried the situation, but Lhazowa told him that was a big mistake. “Each time my master acts like that,” he explained, “for me, it is like receiving waves of inspiration from Chakrasamvara himself.”

Likewise, Tsangpa Gyare (gTsang-pa rGya-ras Ye-shes rdo-rje) has said:

When (my teacher) beats me, it is the conferral of an empowerment: I receive inspiration by receiving that. His severe scolding is a forceful mantra, for by it all my interferences are removed. 

Tsangpa Gyare, with his teacher Lingrepa Pema Dorje (gLing Ras-pa Pad-ma rdo-rje), was one of the founders of the Drugpa Kagyu tradition.

[This type of behavior must not be misunderstood to apply to teachers and disciples who do not have the proper qualifications. Without pure ethical standards and a totally compassionate motivation, such behavior is abusive, in which case, the disciple must withdraw and keep a respectful distance.]

[8] As Tsongkhapa has aptly termed it, relating to our spiritual mentor in a healthy manner is the root of all positive pathways of mind. Developing such states of the mind ourselves, we progress through graded scopes of motivating aims. First, we wish for less suffering in future lives, then freedom from troubles altogether with the attainment of liberation. Finally, we aim for the ability to free everyone from their suffering. This we will gain by becoming a Buddha. As relating to our mentor in a healthy manner is the common root for developing all pathway minds leading to these three spiritual aims, the positive karmic force we build up from our sincere commitment will result in the realization of all our provisional and ultimate goals throughout our spiritual journey.

In brief, as all these benefits derive from a personal relation with a spiritual teacher acting as a positive influence on us, we must by all means enter into such an involvement with a deep and sincere feeling of commitment. How can such benefit be gained if we only learn of the Dharma out of a book?

The Drawbacks of Not Committing Ourselves Wholeheartedly to Our Spiritual Teacher or of Going Back on Our Commitment

Even if we study with a master, if we lack wholehearted commitment, we will never make any progress. As Kyabje Trijang Rinpoche has said:

Without faith in a teacher, you can never gain any real understanding or insight into what he teaches.

Thus, without a proper attitude, we waste the precious opportunity we have when we are with a great teacher.

Once in the land of Khotan, north of Tibet, there lived two novice monks who strove hard at the deity practice of Manjushri, but with little success. They were told they had a better connection with Avalokiteshvara, and that they should go to Tibet to meet King Songtsen Gampo (Srong-btsan sgam-po), an incarnation of this exceptional deity (lhag-pa’i lha). They made the long journey, and when they arrived at Lhasa, they saw many horrifying sights of prisoners being cruelly punished. Unable to comprehend what they saw, they questioned how the king could really be an emanation of compassion.

Later, when they obtained a royal audience, they were in such a state of anxiety, fear and suspicion that when asked what they wished, they quickly replied, “To go home!” The king nodded his head and told them to return to their room. That night they went to sleep as normal, but when they awoke, they found themselves back in Khotan, and their pillows had turned into sacks of gold. Only then did they realize that perhaps there was more going on than met the eye and they had wasted a very rare chance.

Once we have actually entered into a formal relation with a spiritual master and have committed ourselves wholeheartedly, if we then disobey him or her, we create major obstacles to our spiritual progress. Since everything our teacher tells us to do is aimed at bringing us closer to our goal of enlightenment and he knows best, if we act the opposite of his instructions, we can only be going away from our goal. There are many famous examples.

Krishnacharya (Nag-po spyod-pa, Nagpopa) was once given a small box by his teacher Jalandharapada (Grub-chen Dza-lan-dha-ra-pa) and told not to open it until he reached his destination. Overpowered by curiosity, he had a peek, and because he thus disobeyed his teacher, he did not attain the highest purified state in that lifetime. 

[The Luipa lineage (of the anuttarayoga tantra practice) of Chakrasamvara traces through Jalandharapada to Krishnacharya, then on to Guhyapada (Grub-chen gSang-ba-pa), Vijayapada (Grub-chen rNam-rgyal zhabs), and then Tilopa and Naropa. Krishnacharya himself started another lineage of this practice, as did Ghantapada (Slob-dpon rdo-rje Dril-bu-pa, Drilbupa). Krishnacharya was also a disciple of Virupa and from him became part of the lineage of the anuttarayoga tantra practice of Hevajra, as well as a member in the lineage of lamdre (lam-’bras, “path and its results”), prominent in the Sakya tradition.]

Similarly, Rechungpa ignored the instructions of Milarepa three times, once by going to India. As a result, he was unable to reach enlightenment for three more lifetimes.

Once Naropa was told by Tilopa that he must never again debate with non-Buddhist scholars. Some time later, a challenger arrived at Nalanda Monastic University, and if he could not be defeated by logic, the entire community would have to convert. Everyone felt that only Naropa could meet the task, so disobeying his teacher, he went to debate and won despite much difficulty. Later, when he saw Tilopa, this master said, “Where was your Mahayana motivation? What about giving the victory to others? You will never realize your fullest potential in this life.” Thus, Naropa had to reappear and actualize the supreme goal during the bardo after his death.

An even more serious breach of wholehearted commitment is to belittle or insult our spiritual mentor. There was once a disciple who had developed the extraphysical power to be able to fly. One day, while gliding over where his teacher was giving a discourse, he felt great pride that he could fly while his master could not. He immediately fell to the earth.

Once, when the translator Marpa was studying with Naropa, the latter produced from his heart the mandala of the Buddha-figure Hevajra. To test his disciple, he asked to which he would offer prostration, to his personal yidam or his spiritual teacher? Marpa thought, “I see my teacher and prostrate before him each day. That is nothing special. However, this is the first time I have actually seen the deity I have been trying to bond my mind with.” Therefore, he bowed himself before Hevajra. 

Naropa told him that his attitude and values were very mistaken. “Without a spiritual teacher preceding, there could not even be the word ‘enlightenment.’ The thousand Buddhas of this fortunate eon will all come about by relying on a teacher, and Buddha-figures are but emanations of the high spiritual masters.” Then Naropa snapped his fingers, and the mandala with the Buddha-figures within disappeared back into his heart. Since the translator Marpa had not appreciated the lineage source of his personal yidam, his own family line ended, though his Kagyu tradition went on with glory.

Another example is Buddhajnana (mKhas-grub Sangs-rgyas ye-shes). One day, when he was delivering a discourse before a large crowd of disciples, his spiritual mentor Saukarika (Bla-ma Phag-tshang-pa) passed by, driving a herd of pigs. Buddhajnana, concerned about what his disciples might think if they saw him descend from his throne to offer prostration to a swine-herder, pretended not to see his teacher and continued lecturing.

Afterwards, he went directly to Saukarika’s house and prostrated before him. The master asked, “Why do you prostrate now when you did not do so before at the discourse?” Buddhajnana, ashamed and defensive, then lied to his mentor and said that he had not seen him. Immediately he went blind. Although Saukarika had great compassion for his disciple, he was only able to restore sight to one of his eyes. This was because Buddhajnana, in lying, had tarnished so badly his commitment and close bond (dam-tshig, Skt. samaya) to his spiritual mentor. 

[Buddhajnana was the teacher of Shantijnana (Zhi-ba ye-shes), one of Marpa’s several spiritual mentors. Through them is traced the Jnanapada lineage (Ye-shes zhabs-lugs) of the anuttarayoga tantra practice expounded in The Guhyasamaja Tantra (gSang-’dus rtsa-rgyud). Marpa received from Naropa the Arya lineage of Guhyasamaja (gSang-’dus ’Phags-lugs), which derives from Nagarjuna and Aryadeva.]

If we actually go back completely from our wholehearted commitment, such as by showing contempt for our spiritual teacher, cursing and leaving him in anger and then harboring great hatred, the results will be extremely disastrous. Eight dire consequences (bsten-tshul log-pa’i nyes-dmigs brgyad) are standardly listed: 

1. The effect will be the same as showing contempt for all the Buddhas. 
2. Having devastated the ability of our positive karmic forces to act as a root for happiness, we will be reborn in a joyless realm for the same number of eons as the number of moments we are angry with our spiritual mentor. 
3. Even though we might commit ourselves wholeheartedly to tantra practice, we will not realize the supreme actual attainment of enlightenment. 
4. Even though we might have applied great effort toward actualizing the aims of tantra practice, it will amount to actualizing for us a hellish rebirth.
5. We will not develop any of the good qualities we have not developed in the past, and whatever we have already developed will decline.
6. Many things we do not wish for in this life, such as sickness, will befall us.
7. In our future lives, we will roam endlessly through the worse rebirth states.
8. We will have a poverty of spiritual mentors throughout all our lives.

The Buddha has warned of these drawbacks. For instance, it says in the Guhyasamaja Tantra (V.4–5):

Even though a limited being might have committed a heinous crime or a great negative action, still if he is on the great ocean of the hidden mantra vehicle, he can attain in his very lifetime the supreme vehicle of mind (theg-pa mchog, highest yana) (the state of enlightenment). If, however, from his heart, he despises his spiritual mentor, then try as he may, he will not be able to actualize (this goal).

The five heinous crimes are:

• Murdering our mother
• Murdering our father
• Murdering an arhat
• Causing a schism in the Sangha
• With the harmful intention of murder, drawing blood from the enlightening body of a Buddha.

Also, from the Filigree of Diamond-Strong Essential Factors Tantra (rDo-rje snying-po rgyan-gyi rgyud, Skt. Vajrahṛdayālaṃkāra Tantra):

If someone truly despises his spiritual mentor, then all his good practice over thousands of eons, during which he had forgone sleep and entertainment in his attempt to realize the supreme goal of all the tantra practices, would just have amounted to actualizing for him hellish rebirths and so on.

Therefore, as a mentor is essential for developing pathway minds, and our attitude toward him or her is extremely crucial, we must be very careful. If we are near a dog that snaps, we may be bitten. Likewise, we must know how much to be with our spiritual mentor. If we are with him all the time and are too close, the danger arises that at some point we might become angry and thus hurt ourselves. We must understand what it means to relate to a spiritual mentor in a healthy manner.