Lam-Rim 67: Disturbing Emotions – Arrogance

The Three Scopes of Motivation

For each of these spiritual goals, there’s a motivation, a driving force, an emotional state for wanting to achieve these goals. 

In the case of wanting one of the better rebirths, it is because we really don’t want a worse rebirth. That is something that we really dread happening because then there’d be very little chance to improve our situations. We’d just to sort of have to wait it out – wait for the karma to be finished – and this takes a very long time. 

When we strive for liberation, it’s because we are totally disgusted and fed up with uncontrollably recurring rebirth, not only the problems of suffering itself – the more painful things – but also our worldly type of happiness, our usual happiness. It has no sound basis to it and just perishes. In other words, it doesn’t last, it doesn’t satisfy, and is very frustrating in that sense. We’re tired of all of that. We’re tired of having the type of basis that just repeats all of this; we just want to get out. That’s renunciation

Why we work to achieve enlightenment – what’s pushing us in that direction – is thinking of our interconnection with everybody. Thinking how everybody’s equal, how everybody’s been kind to us in terms of having been our mothers or having contributed to our welfare just in general in terms of the food-chain and the cities that we live in and so on, we develop warm-heartedness toward them, love (the wish for them to be happy), compassion (the wish for them to be free from suffering). We also take a universal responsibility to actually do something about it – and not just on a superficial level: we want to bring them all the way to liberation and enlightenment. And we see that the only way that we can really do that is to become enlightened ourselves, so we develop bodhichitta. 

So, we have this basic structure. 

Initial Scope

Precious Human Rebirth

We have gone through the initial level already. With that, we started with the precious human rebirth, appreciating how we have the temporary freedoms, or respites, from the worst states in which we would have no opportunity to benefit ourselves and how our lives are enriched with all the factors that make it possible for spiritual practice and development. Teachings and teachers are available, there are communities that support them, and so on. Then we looked at how difficult that freedom is to obtain and what the causes are in terms of ethical discipline, prayers for it, and the far-reaching attitudes – generosity, ethics, perseverance, patience, concentration (mental stability), and discriminating awareness (using our intelligence). 

Death and Impermanence

We also saw that this precious type of human life is impermanent: it’s going to end. Death will come for sure; we never know when. And nothing is going to be of help at the time of death except the preventive measures that we’ve taken – the Dharma – to build up positive habits, instincts, imprints, and so on that will carry on into future lives. 

Dreading Worse Rebirths

Then we looked at what could happen if we haven’t really done this, and this would be a rebirth in one of the worst rebirth states. We looked at what that would be like, what it would be like in one of the so-called hell realms, these joyless realms, in which we would be trapped for a very long time; they’re very difficult to get out of. Then we looked at the clutching ghost realm, or the hungry ghosts (as it’s called in Chinese), these beings who are always frustrated. They can’t get anything to drink or eat and are paranoid; everybody’s chasing them and so on. And we looked at the animal realm, the realm of creeping creatures who hunt each other, eat each other alive and all of that. How horrible that would be.

We saw that this is something that we really don’t want; we dread this. We develop a healthy sense of fear of it – so, not an unhealthy one in which we are just crippled and paralyzed and feel helpless and hopeless. Instead, the fear moves us to be careful and to do something about it, based on seeing that there is some way to avoid it. 

Safe Direction

The way to avoid it is going in the safe direction (refuge) – Buddha, Dharma, and Sangha – which means to work toward what the Buddha has achieved: (1) a true stopping of all the causes of these types of suffering and (2) the states of mind that bring that stopping about. These are indicated by the Buddhas, who have achieved all of this in full, and by the Arya Sangha, who have achieved them in part. We looked at all the features of the Triple Gem. 

Refraining from Destructive Behavior According to the Principles of Karma

To actually go in that direction and to avoid worse rebirth states, the first thing we need to do is to refrain from acting destructively. Destructive behavior is the main cause for rebirth in the worst states. So, we looked at all of that in our big discussion of karma. We saw how an impulse comes up to act in a destructive way. It could be a destruction action of body – taking the life of some creature, taking what was not given to us, or engaging in inappropriate sexual behavior; a destructive action of speech – lying, using divisive language (trying to get people apart, to cause quarrels) or harsh language, or idle chatter; or a destructive action of thinking – covetous thinking, planning to get what somebody else has out of strong jealousy, malicious thinking, thinking how we can hurt somebody, or distorted thinking, thinking how we can, very antagonistically, put down anything that’s positive that other people might be thinking or doing. 

So, when an impulse comes up to act like that, the first step, of course, is self-control. We don’t act on that impulse. We just don’t do it. Eventually, one goes deeper and deeper; one refrains from acting on the impulse to act destructively based on understanding that if we act on this, we’re just going to cause ourselves a tremendous amount of suffering. So, it’s not that we refrain because we want to be a good boy or girl or to please our teacher or out of a sense of duty, or whatever. It’s based on understanding, using discriminating awareness, what’s of benefit to ourselves and what’s of harm to ourselves. Whether it’s of benefit or harm to others… of course, we try not to hurt others, but we can never be sure whether our actions will help others. We can give others a tremendous amount of money, for example, being very generous, and then they’re robbed and killed because they have so much money. So, we don’t know what the results of our actions will be. 

So, that’s the initial scope.

Intermediate Scope

Acknowledging That Even Higher Rebirths Are in the Nature of Suffering

Then we went into the intermediate scope. We looked at what rebirth in one of the higher realms would be like, whether in a human realm, in the realm of the anti-gods, the ones that are always fighting against the gods, or in the god realms. We saw that these realms have their own types of suffering as well. In general, samsara, this uncontrollably recurring rebirth, has all sorts of sufferings. We went through the big list of these. 

Basically, what we were looking at was not only the sufferings of birth, death, sickness, old age, etc. but also the sufferings that are involved in so-called fleeting happiness, our ordinary type of happiness, that as I said, doesn’t satisfy, doesn’t last, and just turns into unhappiness. This is why it’s called the suffering of change. For instance, you might enjoy eating a certain food, but if you continue eating it without stopping, it won’t give you more pleasure, infinitely. Instead, it turns into pain and discomfort very quickly. So, there’s that type of suffering. And then there’s the suffering of uncontrollably recurring rebirth – that because we act with confusion, which is the basis of all of this, we are born with a basis (a body and mind) in each lifetime that just perpetuates all the confusion, which then brings on all the other problems. 

So, we looked at all these sufferings. 

Recognizing the Causes of Suffering – The Disturbing Emotions and Attitudes

Now we’re looking at the causes of suffering. So, that first part was dealing with the first noble truth, recognizing what the sufferings that we have are, acknowledging them as sufferings – which is very, very important. If you are ever going to overcome a problem, you have to acknowledge and accept that you have a problem. Then, you can deal with it. And the way to deal with it is the second noble truth: to look at the cause of the problem. Here, we’re looking not just at the causes of the suffering of suffering, which is destructive behavior. We’re also looking at the causes of all three types of suffering – the suffering of suffering, the suffering of change, and the all-pervasive suffering – and these are the disturbing emotions and attitudes. 

We started the discussion of the disturbing emotions. Some of them are emotions; some are attitudes. Some are very difficult to classify, like indecisive wavering. It’s not an emotion, and it’s not an attitude; it’s sort of a state of mind. Some people translate all of these as “afflictions” as a term that would cover all three possibilities, but that also has its advantages and disadvantages, like every type of terminology. 

Anyway, we looked at the first one, which is longing desire, greed, and attachment. If you don’t have it and want to get it – that’s longing desire. If you do have it and don’t want to let go – that’s attachment. And if you have it but want more, not being satisfied with what you have – that’s greed. All of that is based on exaggerating the good qualities of something and ignoring the negative aspects of it. And all of that, on a deeper level, is based on a feeling of a solid “me” that has to have these things and not let go of them – that somehow they’re going to make me more solid and secure, which, of course, they never do. 

Then, we looked at anger, which is the second root disturbing emotion. These are called “root disturbing emotions.” There are six of them. Anger is just the reverse of the first one, longing desire: it exaggerates the negative qualities of something or projects more negative qualities onto it than it has and ignores the good qualities. Then, we feel that we have to get rid of it if we have it or to avoid it if we don’t have it – but in a very violent type of way: we want to destroy it. That also is based on thinking of a very solid “me” – that somehow if I can get this away from me and keep it away from me, that’ll make this “me,” this solid “me,” secure, which, of course, never works. 

Now, today, we are up to the third disturbing emotion, which is arrogance, arrogance and pride. Any questions on what we’ve covered? We have somebody joining us for the first time today, so I gave a little bit of a longer introduction. Everything clear? Good.

Arrogance is defined as a puffed-up mind (puffed up like a balloon) based on… this is a technical term: a “deluded outlook toward a transitory network.” Transitory network is a network of our aggregates – (1) the body (so, forms of physical phenomena), (2) feelings of happy and unhappy, (3) distinguishing different things, (4) other affecting variables, such as all the various emotions that we have, and (5) consciousness. Arrogance identifies the solid “me” with one or more of these aggregates as a possessor, as though there were a solid “me” that is somehow separate from these things: “I have, I possess a body or a mind,” or good looks or whatever. And then you feel puffed up about it; you exaggerate it – “I’m so wonderful” – because of that. 

Either you possess the body, or you live inside the body. And you control it: “I’m sitting in my head, and I’m moving and controlling my body.” “I’m such a great athlete. I can move like this; I can do like that. I can use my body.” So, arrogance is based on that, although it could also be based on things that you possess: money, a good house, a good car, these sorts of things, which are part of our aggregate of forms of physical phenomena. 

So, this is what arrogance is, this puffed-up mind based on this type of attitude. 

Participant: Education also.

Dr. Berzin: It could also be based on education. It could be based on anything. Education is part of developing our knowledge… where we went to school, these sorts of things. It’s part of our experience, so it would fit into our aggregates that way. 

So, arrogance. This obviously is a disturbing state of mind. Remember our definition of a disturbing emotion: it’s a state of mind that, when it arises, makes us feel uncomfortable (it can also make others feel uncomfortable) and causes us to lose our peace of mind and to lose self-control. We lose self-control with arrogance because then we boast and brag and act in a way that really puts people off.

Participant: And isn’t it always in combination with feeling better than others?

Dr. Berzin: Well, actually, we will see all the subcategories. Sometimes it can be arrogance about feeling the worst: “I’m worse than everybody else.” This sort of inverse arrogance in people who are exaggeratingly humble

Participant: “I’m the humblest.”

Dr. Berzin: Well, it’s not that I’m the… Well, it could be “I’m the humblest,” but it’s more that “I’m such a low thing.”

Participant: “I’m the lowest among those.”

Dr. Berzin: Right, “I’m the lowest among all people.” Then you feel proud of that in the sense that you strongly identify with that. This type of thing. 

It’s very interesting. In the text, it says that how it functions and what the result is, is to make us not appreciate and respect others and their good qualities (it’s true, isn’t it?). And it prevents us from learning anything. Think about that. That’s really very, very spot on, isn’t it? When we feel puffed up, it makes us not appreciate others or respect the good qualities of others because we’re so taken by ourselves. Because of that, we don’t even consider that anybody else has good qualities… and “I know everything, so what can I learn from you?” 

Participant: You would not want to consider those qualities of others because they’re also threatening to you.

Dr. Berzin: Right. Those qualities could be threatening to your own position, which you think is so great, so you don’t even want to acknowledge that anybody else has these good qualities. Or if you do acknowledge them, you put them down.

Participant: I have the feeling that some people who appear arrogant superficially can appreciate other people’s good things. But probably, their real interest is not in other people, so it doesn’t matter to them. All they feel about is about themselves. So, they say, OK, you are also OK.

Dr. Berzin: Oh, so he’s saying that you can have a type of arrogance in which you can have…

Participant: A very condescending interest in others.

Dr. Berzin: Right. You can have a condescending interest in others. We’ll find that this is one of the subcategories. There are seven different kinds of arrogance that are pointed out in the text, and this is one of them. It’s a condescending type of thing: “OK, you have some good qualities, but I’m better.” You’re not really interested in what they have. [To participant:] “Condescending” is to look down on others.

So, seven types. Let’s take a look at them. 

[1] Arrogance

There are three main kinds of arrogance. One is in relation to somebody who is objectively inferior to us,  like somebody who has less money or someone who is elderly – for example, you have this young thing, and you feel superior to an old person (so, objectively, there’s a difference). The next one is when two people are equal in qualities. The third one is when you feel that you are better than someone who is superior to yourself. 

So, let’s look at these. And I think it’s very helpful to look within ourselves rather than to look at other people as examples. They say in the teachings that you should have the mirror of the Dharma turned toward yourself – to see, “Do I have this?” – rather than to have it turned outside and accusing other people of having this. 

So, first is the puffed-up mind that feels better than someone inferior to oneself in some quality, whether it’s education, age, beauty, money, social status, whatever. So, think about it. Try to see if you have that. It could also be that you project onto somebody that they’re inferior, as people do with racial prejudice. 

[Pause]

Or it could be with gender prejudice, for that matter. Or religious prejudice. 

Participant: To be honest, I find it a little bit blurry to call something an objective criterion.

Dr. Berzin: Well, I was thinking objective criterion when it is clearly something that you could measure. Like, you could feel superior that you have more money than somebody else, and they, in fact, don’t have as much money as you have.

Participant: That’s easier, of course, because it is a number.

Dr. Berzin: That’s what I’m talking about. In that case, it’s a number. But that’s why I said it could also be something that is just projected – you project that your race, your gender, your religion, your views or whatever is superior and that the other person’s is inferior.

Participant: On the other hand, it’s objectively the case that if you’re white in Latin America, you have an easier ride.

Dr. Berzin: Right. So, you’re saying, coming from Latin America, that if you’re lighter skinned in Latin America you have an easier time.

Participant: Is that objective?

Dr. Berzin: I think that we’re talking about a social phenomenon, and it could be objective that lighter skinned people have an easier time. It’s true in Latin America.

Participant: It’s hard to say what is objective and what is not.

Dr. Berzin: It is hard to be objective. But there are these categories of arrogance: feeling arrogance toward somebody who’s inferior, toward somebody who’s equal, and toward somebody who’s superior in quality, whatever that quality might be. And as I say, it could be projected; it doesn’t have to be objective.

Participant: I think the first step is that I very often compare.

Dr. Berzin: Right.

Participant: It’s sort of comparing all little details like in terms of years of experience, I am the better.

Participant: But you still need to take age into consideration in order to relate, no? Like, sometimes you put the example of dealing with a baby. I need to compare my age with this baby’s age, and then if I relate like we’re the same age, it will not be appropriate…

Dr. Berzin: Right. But relating to a baby or somebody who is clearly in a lower position than yourself in terms of development doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re arrogant about it. 

Participant: That’s what I mean. 

Dr. Berzin: But I think a good example is…

Participant: Where is the limit between arrogance and the usual social comparing?

Dr. Berzin: Well, the difference between arrogance and the usual social thing is that you’re “puffed up,” it says. So, you identify very strongly, and you use this in terms of a big ego trip. That’s what’s behind all of this: grasping for the solid “me,” puffing up that solid “me” – “I’m so great” – and making that solid “me” even bigger. That’s what’s behind it. And it’s disturbing. So, you lose your peace of mind, and you lose self-control, which means that you say things that just put the other person off: “Oh! You don’t know this? You don’t know that?” 

But the example that I’m thinking of (speaking of Latin America) is the attitude of people toward the waiters and waitresses in a restaurant.

Participant: India’s worse.

Dr. Berzin: India’s worse. A lot of people might have this puffed-up attitude toward people who serve them, whether it’s in a store, whether it’s collecting a toll at a tollbooth on the road… these sorts of things. In some countries, people are friendlier with these sorts of people; in other countries, people really look down on them – the janitor, the person who cleans the toilets, the garbage man who collects the garbage, whomever. People could have this type of arrogant attitude toward them. I’m not saying everybody does, of course. It’s just possible examples. But I think it’s very interesting to examine within ourselves to see whether we have this type of prejudice and arrogance. Do we really see everybody as equal? Or is that just idealistic? Do you feel you’re better than the beggar in the subway system, the U-Bahn?

Participant: Well, the feeling is, “I’m better off.”

Dr. Berzin: Well, that can be objectively correct. And the emotion that goes with that could be compassion as opposed to arrogance, couldn’t it?

Participant: Or at least neutral.

Dr. Berzin: Well, at least neutral. But neutral is not feeling anything. That’s not what we’re aiming for – not feeling anything. Then you ignore the person. That’s naivety.

Participant: Equanimity is not the same at all.

Dr. Berzin: Equanimity means having an equal attitude toward that person and your best friend. Well, there’s another type of equanimity, which means you’re not attracted, not repulsed and not indifferent. Two types of equanimity.

Participant: I mean the second.

Dr. Berzin: So, the second one. But it means that you’re open. You’re not ignoring the person either. That is often what we do with beggars. We just to pretend that they’re not even there. We don’t even want to look at them because then we think that they’re going to engage us and that it will be difficult to shake them off. 

As I say, it’s very good to examine these things and to see the grasping for the solid “me” that’s behind it, that underlies it – thinking that I’m better.

Participant: I perceived a kind of arrogance in me. It’s like a false simplicity, like when you actually think that you are better than another person. But so that it doesn’t seem like that, you don’t talk about what you think is good in you. So, you act falsely, trying to hide some qualities that you think you have. And because you think that those qualities are so much better than the other person, you think that other person would feel bad. But, actually, the person probably wouldn’t really care. 

Dr. Berzin: Yeah, yeah. So, let me just repeat that because maybe it didn’t get on the recording. Sometimes what happens is when we feel that we’re better than somebody, we think that they couldn’t possibly understand something that we would say. So, we would keep that inside and talk down to them in a sense, like talking to somebody as if they were a child.

Participant: But this is not what she meant.

Participant: It can also be this, but it’s also like hiding…

Dr. Berzin: Hiding your good qualities. What kind of good quality do you mean?

Participant: Like, if I talk to a person and I’ve studied much more than she has, I would try to hide this. Or if I’m talking to a person and I know that she doesn’t have a partner, I would try not to talk about my partner. I don’t know.

Dr. Berzin: Right. Well, this is interesting. You give an example of being better educated than this other person. So, then you’re not even going to reveal that to them because it might make them feel uncomfortable.

Participant: But this makes the evasion more significant.

Dr. Berzin: Right, this makes the evasion more significant – especially if they find out. Or you were saying that if that person doesn’t have a partner and you do have a partner, you don’t really have to talk about your partner because… You see, there are two things here. One is based on feeling arrogant: “I’m better than the other person.” I mean, this is… Why would you not want to reveal it to them? It seems to me that the positive reason would be that it’s because it would make them feel bad, and you don’t want to make them feel bad. So, that’s concern for the other. It’s not really arrogance.

Participant: Or it can also be like some kind of condescending concern. For instance, the other person can’t stand it if I say to her that I’m in some way better off than… it’s like I’m taking care of the other person in a way that makes…

Dr. Berzin: Right. Well, there can be condescension there as well. 

I’m thinking of an example from my own past, my own history. I remember going back to America and visiting with my family and their friends. And my experience of traveling around the world, teaching in so many different countries, living in India and these things… these people couldn’t possibly understand it, couldn’t relate to it, I should say. And they weren’t interested, as well. I would say something, and then they would completely change the topic almost instantly. So, in that sense, I was not sharing with them out of consideration for them – well, it would bore them; I mean, they wouldn’t even listen – but inside, feeling that I’m better than them because these people had never left our hometown, whereas I’d traveled all over the world. So, that’s an example. So, it’s mixed: having concern for the other person that they’re not really interested in this anyway but also feeling that I’m better than they are.

Participant: So, it depends on the motivation.

Dr. Berzin: It depends on the motivation because, in fact, you wouldn’t discuss… Well, here, Jorge, you’re a scientist, but you have a lot of friends who are not into science at all. Why would you discuss science with them? But in not discussing science with them and what you’re doing in your laboratory, would you feel condescending toward them – that you’re better?

Participant: I don’t know. I just don’t want to bore them to death.

Dr. Berzin: You don’t want to bore them to death. Right. But there could be condescension there.

Participant: But you don’t have to talk about everything with everyone.

Dr. Berzin: Well, that’s a very important point: you don’t have to share and talk about everything with everyone. That’s actually very inconsiderate of others to think that they would be interested in every little part of your life. That’s a hard one, though, because we’re always looking for that perfect other half that will complete us in all ways and so on – which is a fairytale, unfortunately. Sad but true.

[2] Exaggerated Arrogance

OK. Then the second one is exaggerated arrogance. It’s a puffed-up mind that feels that one is better than someone who is equal to oneself in some quality. 

How would that work? Can you think of any example?

Participant: Like a colleague at work?

Dr. Berzin: Right, a colleague at work. I was thinking of this translators’ conference I just went to. Here are all these other translators who have translated lots of books the way that I have. So, they are my peer group, my equals in that sense. Yet, I’m sure that it’s very easy to feel better than they are or for them to feel that they are better than me. So, a work situation or a colleague situation would be like that.

Participant: One could do the job better.

Dr. Berzin: One could do it better. Or just in general, feeling, “I’m more qualified.”

Participant: Puffed up.

Dr. Berzin: It’s a puffed-up feeling, isn’t it? 

Or you work with a group in your laboratory… what you might feel. Or students studying together. But there you have grades, so that’s a clearer indication of differences. 

[Pause]

Then, as I said, the important thing is to try identify what underlies it, which is this grasping for a solid “me” – then seeing that, on the basis of this, I identify with this quality and feel that I’m even more solid and better – because that’s the clue to how you get out of this. The temporary way of getting out of this, the provisional way, I should say, is Shantideva’s advice, which is to put yourself in the position of the one that you’re feeling arrogant toward and to look back: “Who the hell do you think you are? You’re so arrogant. Why don’t you help me rather than look down on me, feeling that you’re better?” This is the original version of exchanging the position of self and others. 

[3] Outrageous Arrogance

The third type is called outrageous arrogance. It’s a puffed-up mind that feels that one is better than someone superior to oneself in some quality.

Participant: The classic one is “my boss is an idiot.”

Dr. Berzin: That’s a good example.

Participant: Because he’s the boss.

Dr. Berzin: That’s a very good example.

Participant: Is it in all cultures the case that my boss is an idiot?

Participant: Yeah.

Dr. Berzin: Is that in all cultures? I think that you find that in most… well, I don’t know. In a very strongly hierarchical situation… I don’t know.

Participant: In the private mind…

Dr. Berzin: In the private mind? Maybe.

Participant: A very different thing. And this is all about the private mind.

Dr. Berzin: That I don’t know. 

There was another example that I was thinking of. Certainly someone in the army of lower rank could think that they are better than someone of higher rank. So, that’s the “my boss is an idiot.” Oh, the example that I was thinking of – and then wondering is this in all cultures – is children feeling that they are better than their parents. “My parents are idiots. My parents don’t understand.” Is that in all cultures? That, I don’t know. Some cultures, particularly Asian cultures, traditionally have great respect for their parents.

Participant: And also for the teachers.

Dr. Berzin: And for the teachers. You could also feel that you’re better than the teacher: “The teacher’s an idiot.”

Participant: I think in Asia, the hierarchy is much…

Dr. Berzin: The hierarchy is much more accepted in Asia, certainly.

Participant: The fact that you accept it and live with it doesn’t mean that you don’t think your boss is an idiot. I don’t know.

Dr. Berzin: I don’t know. But in any case, let’s not postulate other cultures; let’s think in terms of ourselves. Do we have this attitude?

Participant: Sure.

Dr. Berzin: That’s the point. And what is it based on?

Participant: Well, I think I’m better than my boss!

Dr. Berzin: You are objectively better than your boss. I see!

Participant: I think that.

Dr. Berzin: Or even if you don’t have it now, look back in your childhood. Did you feel that way toward your parents when you were a teenager?

Participant: I thought of an example. If I find out that someone is in some aspect clearly superior to me, I would want to find another aspect where I’m clearly superior to this person.

Dr. Berzin: Right. So that is…

Participant: To find a fault.

Dr. Berzin: Right. So, if somebody is clearly superior you, you try to find a fault in them, and you also try to find something else in yourself that is better than that person. Well, all of these are strategies that we use.

Participant: [Inaudible]

Dr. Berzin: Yeah, but that’s another form]. That’s the one, two, three, four… the sixth form of arrogance. That’s called “modest arrogance.” 

Participant: Modesty? 

Dr. Berzin: Right, I may not be better in that quality, but I’m better in other qualities.

[4] Egotistic Arrogance

So the fourth kind is egotistic arrogance. It’s a puffed-up mind that thinks “me” while focusing on our own samsara-perpetuating aggregates. So, ”Hey, I’m so great.” Just sort of, in general, “I’m so great. I’ve got this body. I’m strong, I’m…” so on. 

Participant: Without really comparing to others.

Dr. Berzin: Without really comparing to others. You know, it’s the attitude that teenagers and young adults have – that “I’m invincible. I can abuse my body with all sorts of drugs and substances and dangerous sports.” This type of thing. That’s a type of arrogance, isn’t it? You see how these teenagers walk out in the freezing cold, never buttoning a coat, this sort of thing… mini-skirt. It’s well below freezing. 

Participant: In the UK, you see it.

Dr. Berzin: In London and so on. I see that here in Berlin.

Participant: And almost everyone drinking and staying drinking.

Dr. Berzin: Right. Drinking and so on, and the t-shirt in the freezing cold winter. So, this type of attitude. So, think, have I ever had that?

[Pause]

Participant: That time passes.

Dr. Berzin: That time passes. It’s very typical of teenage years. “I can stay up all night and dance all night and still go to work in the morning.”

Participant: And suddenly it doesn’t work anymore.

Dr. Berzin: And suddenly it doesn’t work anymore. But it’s that type of thing, isn’t it? 

Actually, it could be any sort of fanatic behavior, if you think about it. I’m thinking about perfectionists that push and push themselves. Is that a kind of arrogance?

Participant: Perhaps it’s arrogance to assume that you can be perfect.

Dr. Berzin: Right, it’s an arrogance to assume that you can be perfect – and that you should be perfect.

Participant: I don’t know. Sometimes it’s a bit… how to say?

Participant: Compulsive.

Dr. Berzin: Compulsive, right. Yeah, that is what I’m talking about: compulsive obsession, perfectionism.

Participant: I think it’s not feeling puffed up, but more a feeling of not being sufficiently…

Dr. Berzin: Not being sufficient. But the angle that I’m thinking of is that you’re aiming to be puffed up: “If I could be perfect, then I’ll be so great.” I don’t know. That’s a tricky one. That’s a very tricky one. Anyway, let’s try to get through this list. 

[5] False or Anticipatory Arrogance

The next one is false or anticipatory arrogance. It’s a puffed-up mind that feels we have attained some quality that we have not yet actually attained. Do you ever have that? It could be a college degree. It could be finishing some job you’re doing. You’re on the road to what you think is becoming famous, but you’re not yet famous, like an aspiring actor or actress or musician… rock star.

Participant: I think I’ve mastered the English language!

Dr. Berzin: Right. “I think I’ve mastered the English language” – right – and you haven’t. That’s a very good one, actually. You’re learning a language, and you feel so proud and arrogant that you know this language when, actually, you’re making all sorts of mistakes, and when you listen to other people, you don’t quite catch everything. I know that from my own experience of knowing a lot of languages not very well.

Participant: And in a conversation, you don’t know the words.

Dr. Berzin: Or you get lost; you don’t get the joke. You get lost in the story.

Participant: And you think that being proficient in a language is a static possession and not something that you have to cultivate.

Dr. Berzin: Right, thinking that you don’t have to maintain it. If you don’t use it, you lose it. Well, definitely. 

So, false arrogance is when you feel that you’ve attained some quality that you haven’t actually attained, and anticipatory arrogance is when you feel that you’ve attained some quality that you expect to attain but haven’t attained yet.

Participant: This is a big one also on the spiritual path.

Dr. Berzin: On the spiritual path? You bet. That’s probably a very, very good example. “I’m so holy, I’m so…” this sort of thing, when, actually, you haven’t gotten very far at all.

Participant: Advanced practitioner.

Dr. Berzin: Well, yeah. You start to do a long retreat, and you feel so proud that you’re doing a long retreat. You haven’t actually completed it, and you might crash in the middle, but you feel, “How wonderful I am that I’m doing this.”

Participant: Spend the whole retreat just wandering.

Participant: A wandering retreat.

Dr. Berzin: A mental wandering retreat of arrogance. 

[6] Modest Arrogance

Then we have this modest arrogance. That’s a puffed-up mind that feels just a little bit inferior to someone vastly superior to oneself in some quality but superior to almost everyone else. “I’m just a little bit inferior to someone vastly superior to myself in some quality, but still, I’m superior to almost everyone else. OK, I’m not as good as Einstein, but….” [Laughter]

Participant: Almost.

Dr. Berzin: Almost. So, that’s modest arrogance. 

Participant: [Inaudible]

Dr. Berzin: Well, think: do you have that about anything? “I may not be as good as my professor, but I’m better than anybody else in the class,” for example. “I may not be as rich as Bill Gates, but I have more money than all these other people.” It could be on a very material basis. “I may not have a Rolls Royce, but I have a Mercedes.”

Participant: I could have one.

Dr. Berzin: Right, I could have. Oh, that’s another, very devious… “I could have…” That’s false modesty: “I could have, but I won’t show off.”

Participant: It’s stupid to have false modesty.

Dr. Berzin: Right. But you can see subcategories of this: boasting, showing off, name-dropping to show how important you are. “Oh, yeah, when I just saw this movie star last week,” or ”This one called me up,” when it’s totally irrelevant to the conversation and just to show off. 

That’s an interesting thing. I think of myself. I went to Harvard, and sometimes that’s very awkward because, on the one hand, you can have a very arrogant attitude about having gone to Harvard, which is considered the best university in America. In a conversation, you could drop that information when it’s totally irrelevant. You could also say, ”Well, I studied this and that at university.” You don’t have to say which university. So, then it gets back to your issue: do you not reveal that university because you think that the other person would feel bad or inferior or because you think that they would be a little bit scared of you because of what they would project onto you?

Participant: They could close up.

Dr. Berzin: Or close up. But is it arrogance? You could still feel that you’re better and so on. Those are difficult issues. And you wonder… I mean, I wonder: if I mention it in a conversation, what was my motivation in mentioning it?

Participant: So, what would be the difference between being proud about something – “I’m proud of having studied at Harvard” – and showing off?

Dr. Berzin: What’s the difference between feeling proud that I went to Harvard and showing off? I think we have to go back to the definition of a disturbing emotion: you lose your peace of mind. Can you just say matter-of-factly, ”Yeah, I went to Harvard”? Or inside, do you feel, “I went to Harvard,” and the energy is upset? You have to be very sensitive to your energy. If you are sensitive to your energy, you can notice that it’s…

Participant: If you’re proud, it’s already a bit…

Dr. Berzin: Yeah. Well, that’s what I’m saying: if you’re proud, the energy is agitated. It’s agitated because you’re showing off, because you’re boasting. It’s moving more quickly; it’s more agitated. But the question is, again, the motivation. Why give that piece of information? The other question, of course, is why not give that piece of information? 

You know, this person studied with some geshe, kenpo, or lama that came to some little center in the West, and… ”Well, I studied with the Dalai Lama” – this type of thing. You could also feel very arrogant about that. Or very apologetic. That’s another thing. That gets into another type of disturbing emotion. And you feel you have to apologize for it.

Participant: It’s also a bit like the disturbing version of what she was saying.

Dr. Berzin: Right, that’s the disturbing version of what you were saying – that you keep it inside because you feel that you have to apologize for it. Some people feel that way. I know a number of people, particularly in Latin America, that come from wealthy parents, and they feel almost apologetic about it – in terms of the revolución and all this sort of thing – with less privileged people. And they hide it; they want to hide it.

Participant: For me, that is something that you can also learn. Let’s say you have a tendency to be apologetic. Then you could try to be the reverse – to be arrogant – and see that there’s not much difference, that it’s only the other side.

Dr. Berzin: Right. He’s saying that if you’re feeling very apologetic, you could look at the other side of it, which is to feel arrogant, and in that way get the insight that, actually, they’re just two sides of the same syndrome. You’re still identifying with what you’re apologetic or arrogant about, and there’s still a grasping for a solid “me” behind it. Then, are you going to show it off? Are you going to apologize for it? Are you going to just think it in your mind? How are you going to express it?

Participant: I was thinking about another disturbing emotion, which is fear – fearing that when you say something, the other person would have bad feelings. For example, she would want to have what you have, and she would want you not to have what you have.

Dr. Berzin: Right. So, you could have fear that if you were to express these things, the other person would, in a sense, feel jealous or feel uncomfortable and so on. 

I’m thinking of an example in my life. I’ve accomplished an awful lot of things in my life, and I met one of my college roommates, and this guy felt so badly – “Oh, I haven’t accomplished anything compared to you,” and this sort of thing. The strategy that I had with him was to say, “Well, I’ve accomplished certain things in a certain area, but look what you’ve accomplished” – he had set up his own business; he had a family, a wife, a daughter – and to point out the things in which he had done much better than I have done and had been much more successful than I have been. So, that’s a way of dealing with it when the other person feels uncomfortable with your achievements or whatever it might be. 

[7] Distorted Arrogance

The last one in this list is distorted arrogance. It’s a puffed-up mind that feels that some deviant aspect that one has fallen to is a good quality that one has attained – for instance, being a good hunter. You feel arrogant about some destructive or negative quality. “I’m the best thief,” “I’m the best…” the example here is hunter. We may or may not have any examples of that in ourselves.

Participant: I’m the best downloader of music.

Dr. Berzin: Right, I’m the best downloader – illegal downloader – of music, the best hacker, computer hacker.

Participant: Sometimes we try to be very funny, using some bad quality or something bad that we did. At this moment, we are for a moment proud because we managed to be funny.

Dr. Berzin: Can you give an example?

Participant: What I did just now. I was making fun of myself about the downloading. Yeah!

Dr. Berzin: So, you feel proud about downloading music so well.

Participant: Proficient.

Dr. Berzin: Or proficient at cheating the system in one way or another.

Participant: A very Latin thing.

Dr. Berzin: It’s a very Latin thing: being proud.

Participant: About cheating.

Dr. Berzin: About cheating. Or I’m so proud that I have avoided paying taxes.

Participant: Yeah, yeah. I cheated. 

Dr. Berzin: I cheated the tax guy. And you feel very proud. “I’m so clever.” Right? OK. 

There’s one more thing about this. So, if we can finish it… 

Vasubandhu gives another list. It’s: 

• I’m superior to others (this could be about any quality) 
• I’m equal to others 
• I’m inferior to others 

Then, 

• Others are superior to me 
• Others are equal to me 
• Others are inferior to me 

Those are in relation to others. 

That’s the interesting thing:. As I said, you could feel arrogant about being inferior to others, or arrogant about others being superior to you. So, in a sense, you puff yourself up as being bad, as being inferior.

Participant: You mean when you are already inferior, then you puff yourself up?

Dr. Berzin: It can be either imagined or actual. 

I’m thinking of people who have this exaggerated humility. You find this when they’re with the Tibetans – just “Ohhh,” and bending over. And it looks so phony. It could be sincere. That’s something else. But when it’s phony, put on as a show, it’s a form of arrogance, isn’t it? You’re putting on a show of being the lowest one, the humblest one.

Participant: I was once at a yoga class, and the teacher said, “It’s not only you who learn. I, as a teacher, also have so much to learn from you.” And I said to her, “You can say that because you are the teacher,” because I didn’t believe her. And then she was irritated.

Dr. Berzin: The teacher said, “I can learn so much from you,” and you felt that that was false. But as a teacher, I can say that it is true that you learn a great deal from the insights of the students, from the questions. They challenge you to think in ways that you might not think if you were just sitting by yourself. So, you do learn quite a lot. And the fact that you have to explain in a clear way so that they understand makes you learn something and think about things much more deeply.

Participant: I don’t know this. I just wanted to mention it…

Dr. Berzin: Right. But it could be based on arrogance. It could be an arrogant statement.

Participant: Also, if you are in a position of power, it’s easier for you to express that you are humble than if you were in a lower position.

Dr. Berzin: Right. If you’re in a position of power, it’s easier to express humility than if you are already in a humble position. I don’t know, I don’t know. I’m thinking of India and the Tibetan society. In a caste system in India, somebody who is, let’s say, your cook has a certain humility, which is almost natural as part of their…

Participant: Sort of, they have their place.

Dr. Berzin: They have their place.

Participant: Within society.

Dr. Berzin: Right. They wouldn’t think of just coming and sitting on the living room sofa with you and chatting.

Participant: I think, in a way, it is very often also still the case in Germany that people have their place.

Dr. Berzin: In Germany, people have a certain place, a certain position.

Participant: At work, you have your certain position.

Dr. Berzin: Well, work is certainly hierarchical in most places.

Participant: Yeah, so, you know your place. You don’t…

Dr. Berzin: Right, you know your place. But again, if you’re in a position of power and trying to act more humbly, if it’s condescending, there’s arrogance behind it. This is something that you find even with a certain type of missionary work. You know: “I pity these poor natives.” So, you’re helping them, but it’s based on an arrogance. You look down on them. That’s another aspect of this arrogance. It’s not only puffing yourself up, but it’s looking down on the other one, putting them down. 

Then, this other set that Vasubandhu has:

• I’m superior to others 
• I’m equal to others (“I’m just as good as everybody else” – this type of arrogance) 
• I’m inferior to others 

And then, 

• Others are superior to me (“Everybody else is so much better than me”)
• Others are equal to me…

Others are equal to me. What would that be?

Participant: It cannot be that. How is that…

Dr. Berzin: How is that arrogance?

Participant: “They cannot be better.”

Dr. Berzin: “They can’t be better.” Yeah, “Nobody can be better; they’re all equal to me.” It could be that.

And 

• Others are inferior to me. 

Then, the third set is:

• There is no one superior to me (there’s no one better than me)
• There’s no one equal to me 
• There’s no one inferior to me

Participant: I think the point, in this case, is that if you have the need to compare yourself with others, then there is, very often, I think, arrogance.

Dr. Berzin: Then arrogance is there. 

Well, this fits in with the five types of deep awareness. Equalizing is basically just focusing on more than one thing, in terms of a shared quality or a shared something. And when that gets mixed with grasping for a self and so on, then it becomes arrogance – because you’re comparing and then, “I’m better than they are.” But the pure form of that is just putting everything together in one group.

Participant: I would say no. One cannot say that the very moment you start to compare something is already disturbing by itself. 

Dr. Berzin: Well, comparing two things just by itself doesn’t have to be disturbing. Well, “This costs more than that.”

Participant: I don’t get it.

Dr. Berzin: No, but when you’re comparing yourself to somebody else.

Participant: Some qualities.

Dr. Berzin: If you’re comparing yourself to somebody else.

Participant: What is the problem? For example, I know more about this right now, and you want me to explain to you. So, I compare and see what the things are that you know less about, and then I explain you those things. In this case, I’m not thinking that I’m better. I’m just explaining. You ask something, and I explain because I know better. There is no comparing.

Dr. Berzin: Well, see, this is the point: what are we comparing here? Jorge was saying, “I have more knowledge in this area than this other person. They want to learn about it, so I try to just explain it. So, where does the arrogance come in?” It comes in from thinking “me.” Get back to the definition. It’s based on this identification with “me”: “I know more than you.” It’s not just a simple, “I have more knowledge than you have, so I’ll share it with you.” Instead your focus is in terms of “me.”

Participant: And that you are identifying.

Dr. Berzin: You’re identifying with it. So, me, who has so much knowledge, I will condescend and explain it to you, as opposed to there being just a simple transaction of conveying knowledge. Conventionally, I’m talking to you, of course, but not on the basis of this puffed up “me” talking to this lowly, stupid you.

Participant: I think that maybe it has to do with interest. Sometimes you are really interested in knowing people, knowing how they are, and knowing them better. And it can help you to know yourself better. 

Dr. Berzin: Right. Our interaction with others, she says, can be based on interest in the other, wanting to get to know them and so on. But interest, as well, can be accompanied by a positive motivation or a negative one. “I’m interested in you because I want to get something from you, I want to use you for something. What advantage can I get?” or “I would like to help you,” or “I’d like to understand people so that I can understand myself,” etc. So, interest itself can go either way – positive or negative – depending on the motivation. 

OK. So, let’s end here. That finishes our discussion of arrogance.

Participant: Just one brief, brief thing.

Dr. Berzin: Yeah, please

Participant: How could we balance this? I ask because you sometimes talk about having a healthy ego, having self-esteem. So, can you use the positive qualities that you have to make you feel better about yourself? Or is this already arrogance?

Dr. Berzin: OK. If you have low self-esteem, can you use your good qualities to make you feel better about yourself? Sure. Without feeling arrogant about it? Yeah, but it’s very tricky, of course. We make a difference between the conventional “me” and the false “me.” Conventional “me” exists, so if your sense of the conventional “me” is very weak, you don’t have a good sense of self-esteem, and you fall into depression, and so on. Building that self-esteem up is very necessary in order to have a healthy sense of the conventional “me.” As they say, with voidness meditation, it’s very dangerous to try to refute the false “me” if the person doesn’t have some stable sense of a conventional “me.” So, for instance, voidness meditation for young teenagers or children is not a good idea because they haven’t really established a conventional “me” in a healthy way, one that’s differentiated from their parents or whatever. So, in that case, you would want to reinforce the conventional “me.” 

But how do you prevent it from going overboard and into arrogance? But then, I don’t know that that would be so much of a danger. If somebody really has low self-esteem and you point out (because we do this in Buddhism) that they have Buddha–nature, that they can achieve enlightenment, and these sorts of things, does it necessarily lead to arrogance – “Oh, I have Buddha-nature. I’m so wonderful”? It does in the case of people who think, “I’m already enlightened,” but I don’t think that it inevitably will go in that direction.

Participant: But this healthy ego or this healthy conventional “me” is probably based on simple things, everyday things, and everyday… like, positive qualities.

Dr. Berzin: Right, this sense of conventional “me” can be based and should be based, actually, on just ordinary things. You know, “You can learn something: you learned how to tie your shoes. You learned how to do things, very simple, ordinary things, like drive a car.” So, you point out that they are capable. And if you can drive a car, then, “Wow. You can pay attention to many things at the same time, like what the other cars are doing, what’s going on in the street, and all these sorts of things. That requires tremendous mindfulness.” So, you reaffirm that they do have good qualities. But if you are going on that course of “I’m OK; you’re OK” sort of thing, how do you prevent it going from “I’m OK” to “I’m so great”? I don’t know. I think that really depends on the individual case. 

But what comes to my mind is the training for gaining concentration. When you work on overcoming dullness in order to lift yourself up, it goes to the other extreme, that of agitation. So, then you calm it down. So, in other words, if you are building up the conventional “me” and it spills over in the other direction, that of a puffed-up, false “me,” you have to bring it back, tone it back down. But that’s part of the process. It’s like they say about tuning a string on a stringed instrument. You tighten it, but probably it goes a little bit too tight, so then you have to loosen it. So, I think that would be the process.