Recap
We’ve been going through this text, which is in the category of texts known as lojong in Tibetan, which means attitude training, or mind training, or cleansing of our attitudes. It is probably the earliest text of this genre, and it speaks about how in difficult situations we can change our attitudes, cleanse ourselves of negative attitudes and build up more positive ones. In connection with this, the negative attitude that it’s focusing on is the self-cherishing attitude, which is basically selfishness – thinking just of ourselves. What lies behind that is the concept – the mistaken concept – that we exist as some solid, independent entity that’s “me” – what’s called the “true self” or the “true me” – which is actually false, which doesn’t exist at all. It’s an inflation or exaggeration of ourselves into some sort of entity that lives somehow inside our body and uses the body and mind to do things and it’s going on from lifetime to lifetime and is independent of everything else. We therefore think it’s the center of the universe, the most important one. Based on the belief that we exist in that way, we act of course in a selfish manner – what’s called “self-cherishing.”
The text dealt first with the self-cherishing attitude, which was done in terms of thinking of karmic situations in which we’re experiencing various suffering situations. Then it looks at what the karmic cause is for it, seeing that this comes from self-cherishing and then looking at what we can do to change that attitude, how we can change our behavior. Then it presents this in terms of the tonglen practice of thinking not just of ourselves who have this problem but everybody else who has that problem; and thinking to take on the problem of everybody and give them the same solution, because it’s not just my own private individual problem, but rather it’s everybody’s problem. It’s a universal problem and since we belong to all of humanity, then it’s appropriate for us to deal with the problem as a collective general problem. This is the tonglen practice, giving and taking.
Now we are in the second section of the text, which deals with the grasping for this so-called “true self” – this ego-grasping. Here, what we are doing is looking at basically our hypocrisy: we have very lofty views, or we want certain amazing things to happen, but in fact we do the opposite thing that is not going to bring that at all. That, of course, is due to having this false concept of the “true self” – this is really our enemy that prevents us from realizing what we would like to accomplish in terms of success, dealing with our life and with the world.
Also, this text calls upon the force of Yamantaka. Yamantaka is the forceful form of Manjushri. Manjushri represents the clarity of mind and so-called wisdom of all the Buddhas and we need that in order to cut through this misconception – this grasping for a “true self” or a “true me.” We, of course, have this habit of thinking in terms of grasping for ourselves very strongly and so we need sometimes a great deal of strength and force to cut through that misconception, to cut through that negative habit. So, we call upon that energy which we all have inside ourselves – that forceful energy which is part of Buddha-nature, which is represented by Yamantaka – to just cut it out: cut out acting in a stupid, confused, self-destructive type of way.
We have been looking at two translations that I have done of the text. One is the old translation from the 1976, in a poetical loose form. This actually is a very loose translation adding many things from commentary by Geshe Ngawang Dhargyey. Then we’ve also been looking at the recent translation which I made, which is the actual literal translation.
Deceiving the Three Gems
We’re up to verse 70 in the old poetical version:
Our pleasure and happiness come from the Buddhas, the gurus, the teachings and those who live by them, yet still we make offerings to ghosts and to spirits. All of our guidance aroused from the teachings and yet we deceive those who give the advice. Trample him, trample him, dance on the head of this treacherous concept of selfish concern. Tear out the heart of this self-centered butcher who slaughters our chance to gain final release.
The literal version of this verse – verse 69 in the literal translation:
Our joy and happiness have been provided by (entrusting ourselves to) the heavenly (Buddhas), but then we’ve made offerings to mischievous ghosts. Our guidance has been fashioned by the Dharma, but then we’ve deceived the Rare Supreme Gems. Crash, really crash down, right on the head of (this) ruinous concept! Deal the death blow to the heart of this butcher, a “true self,” our foe.
This is talking about, basically, refuge – putting a safe direction in our life – and how seriously we actually take that. When we take refuge or safe direction from the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, what we’re looking at is not some sort of all powerful being in the heavens who’s going to save us and protect us; but actually the direction we want to go in is the Dharma, which is what the Buddha – and not just one Buddha but all Buddhas – attained. This is a complete stopping or removal of all the obscurations from the mental continuum and the understanding and realization of all good qualities that brings that about and also is the result of that stopping. So, that’s the Dharma – the direction, the Jewel of Dharma, that we’re heading in. The Buddhas are those who have attained it in full and the Sangha is those who have attained that in part, so we’re referring to the Arya Sangha, those who have had nonconceptual cognition of voidness. We go that direction and entrust ourselves, it says, “to the heavenly Buddhas” – so entrusting ourselves to that direction, that this is what I trust in and give myself to in order to get at least minimum joy and happiness. Joy and happiness can be either with regard to wonderful future lives in terms of precious human life – that we can continue on the path – or the joy and happiness of liberation and enlightenment. What can provide that happiness is going in this direction, which basically means working on ourselves – working to get rid of our shortcomings, working to understand more of what’s going on not only with ourselves but with everybody else, so that we can figure out how to help them as well. That is the source of our joy and happiness, as it says here in the verse.
But although that’s the case, what happens a lot of us make offerings to mischievous ghosts, it says. Well, this could refer to making offerings to worldly protectors who may be spirits and so on – this would be certainly the case among Tibetans in traditional Tibet. There’re many Tibetans and Westerners as well who still do this today and this in general is something that His Holiness is very strongly recommending not to do. Whether we are entrusting ourselves to one of the controversial protectors whom many people see as a ghost, or we entrust ourselves to the so-called regular protectors – Mahakala and so on – the protectors are not the source of refuge. Buddha, Dharma and Sangha are the source of refuge. I mean, there is an explanation in Nyingma in terms of speaking of yidams and dakinis and dharmapalas – it’s the protectors and so on in terms of refuge, but that has a completely different level of meaning in terms of the guru representing all of this. But certainly, if we are just making offerings which, of course, the Tibetans do – usually it’s alcohol – in a protector temple and thinking that this is what’s going to bring us joy and happiness, that’s very much mistaken because the true source of joy and happiness is from the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha – the Jewels; putting that direction in our lives.
The verse continues: “Our guidance has been fashioned by the Dharma” – so the Dharma gives our indications, referring now to the teachings, of how to achieve this true stoppings, how to remove all these obstacles from our minds and how to achieve and activate all our good qualities. That guidance comes from the Dharma teachings and yet we’ve deceived the Rare Supreme Gems. We’ve deceived the Triple Gems in the sense that we haven’t followed that guidance, but we turned to other things. Now, this becomes a very important point: whether we’re turning to ghosts and protectors, or whether we’re turning to alcohol, chocolate, drugs, sex, horoscopes, I Ching – whatever it is – this really brings into question the seriousness of our taking of refuge and what that actually means to us. Who do we turn to? What do we turn to when we’re depressed? What do we turn to in order to bring about happiness? That’s a difficult question in terms of honestly looking at ourselves.
What do you do when you when you’re depressed and feel “blaah,” like that? Do you think in terms of meditating? Do you think in terms of reaffirming refuge? I would think that most of us don’t, if we’re quite honest. I know from myself, the first thing out of bad habits that comes to mind is looking for something nice to eat to cheer me up, whether it’s chocolate or whatever it might be, which is very silly, isn’t it? But that’s old strong habits. How easy is it when we’re feeling depressed and low to remember what is the direction that we’re going in life, to remember we have a precious human life and we’re doing something meaningful with it, working on ourselves, trying to improve, trying to help others, trying to reach our fullest potentials as Buddhas so that we can be of best help to everybody? If you remember that, that tends to give us more strength, more energy of what I’m actually doing. Then if you need to take a rest or you need to do whatever, that’s a secondary thing, that’s not our primary refuge. What’s funny in terms of turning to mischievous ghosts is, as I say, that they can be mischievous ones; they can be ones that are not so mischievous, but so many people, especially if you’re in a Tibetan environment, will turn not only to protector pujas but also to oracles or a similar type of thing.
Maybe this is a little bit controversial to bring up, but it’s like turning to various types of therapy and so on as well. What really is our ultimate source of direction in life? Is it going to some therapist or some therapy group or is Buddhism providing something much deeper and longer lasting and effective than that? I think Buddhism does and I think that if we are going to seriously entrust ourselves to the direction of Buddhism, you in fact have to do that and not be hypocritical. This is what the text is pointing out over and over again – how hypocritical we can be. Why are we hypocritical? It says because of clinging to this false concept of a “true me.” How would that be behind what the verse is talking about? If instead of turning to refuge to Buddha, Dharma and Sangha, you turn to oracles and ghosts and protector pujas and local spirits, how would grasping for a solid “me” be behind that?
It’s because people think that turning to some spirit is going to bring about immediate results. In other words, if you’re really very much grasping for a solid “me, me, me” – “I have to have an instant solution” – it’s like, how often in the West we want to have instant entertainment or to have instant gratification. We want an instant solution and finding a solution in terms of taking refuge in Buddha, Dharma and Sangha doesn’t give you a dramatic instant solution. Whereas ghosts and spirits and oracles – especially if they go into trance, or these incredible protector monasteries with all the images and the really impressive statues and so on – picks up the ego in a sense: “Oh, I, me, I’m doing something that’s really special.” I would agree with you that that’s what is behind it.
Especially if we turn to things like chocolate and food, or drugs, or alcohol for our source of happiness, that also is thinking in terms of this solid “me:” “I need an instant fix.” Whereas if we think in terms of refuge, actually we have to think just the opposite: “What will bring me in this safe direction is realizing that I don’t exist in this solid way.” If you start analyzing, well, what am I experiencing? It is a succession of moments made up of five aggregates. There’re various sights and sounds and smells; and there’s hearing and seeing and thinking and different levels of happiness and unhappiness going up and down; and different emotions coming in all sorts of different blends; and states of concentration and boredom and so on – and all of these things are in flux. They’re all changing at different rates and it’s all following in moments of succession based on not only karma but on everything that I’m interacting with and meeting with and their karma and all of that – and so where is there a solid “me” in this? There isn’t a solid “me.” So what am I depressed about? Who is it that’s depressed? It’s just these things happening. Of course, I can think in terms of “me” and, “I’m experiencing this,” but there isn’t a separate “me” from this whole process that can somehow go into my little shell and protect myself from all of this, or go and get a fix from some spirit, ghost, or drug.
When we realize that – that this is how we actually exist, that this concept of a “true self” is false, that there is no such thing – then there is a tremendous relief and that provides us joy and happiness. But that’s not so easy, is it? We have to become very accustomed to this way of thinking – so accustomed to it that all we need to do is recall it or go through a little bit of a line of thinking to remind ourselves of this, then it can be effective. So, that’s why we need to meditate, accustom ourselves. Meditation means to build up something as a positive habit by doing it over and over and over again, so that it becomes actual in us and natural to us and automatic to us.
Let’s think about this verse for a few moments. I’ll read it once more:
Our joy and happiness have been provided by (entrusting ourselves to) the heavenly (Buddhas), but then we’ve made offerings to mischievous ghosts. Our guidance has been fashioned by the Dharma, but then we’ve deceived the Rare Supreme Gems. Crash, really crash down, right on the head of (this) ruinous concept! Deal the death blow to the heart of this butcher, a “true self,” our foe.
Being Carried Away by Distractions
Let’s go to the next verse. In the poetical translation, verse 71:
We seek to have homes in monastic seclusion, yet, drawn by distractions we venture to town. Discourses we hear teach us most noble practice, yet we spend all our time telling fortunes with dice. Trample him, trample him, dance on the head of this treacherous concept of selfish concern. Tear out the heart of this self-centered butcher who slaughters our chance to gain final release.
Then in the literal translation, verse 70:
We’ve entrusted ourselves to monastic seclusion forever, but then we’ve been carried away by distractions. We’ve requested hallowed Dharma and the spiritual sciences, but then nurtured (others) with prognostications with dice. Crash, really crash down, right on the head of (this) ruinous concept! Deal the death blow to the heart of this butcher, a “true self,” our foe.
This is a very common syndrome that it’s referring to in the text here. It says, “We’ve entrusted ourselves to monastic seclusion forever” – this could be either becoming a monastic, a monk or a nun and living in a monastery; or it could be going on some weekend retreat, or weeklong retreat, or some sort of thing like that, away from our usual lives. It could also be going off to India or Nepal to study, to get away from our usual type of situation in order to follow some type of more intensive spiritual training. So, we’ve entrusted ourselves to that, but then we’re carried away by distractions. That happens all the time, doesn’t it? We go off on a retreat but then instead of really getting into it, our mind is wandering all over the place while we’re sitting trying to meditate. Or we get involved in a social scene at the retreat: we go off to a monastery and so many people in monasteries as well don’t spend their time just doing study and practice and rituals and so on but spend a lot of time just drinking tea or being involved – let’s say in Western monastic settings – with building projects and all sorts of other things. So, we get distracted, go off into town and so on – that very much is the case with a lot of people.
You know people who become monks and nuns and live not in a monastery but in town and how distracted they can become with computers and internet and all this other type of thing. Going to India as well – we might go for a spiritual journey but then spend most of our time in tea shops. This is a very common phenomenon and again what lies behind it is this ruinous concept of a “true self:” “Me – I want entertainment.” It’s too difficult to actually study and do meditation and practice. Of course, as Shantideva points out in his teachings on perseverance, we need to sometimes take a break otherwise we burn out and lose all our enthusiasm. Nevertheless, that’s not our main activity – to take a break. This is very, very common, I must say. I know I find with myself: I sit at the computer most of the day, working on my website – writing and organizing and doing emails and so on, administering all the various things that come up – but how often do I like to distract myself by looking at the news yet again – I can be quite a news junkie – or surfing? I don’t surf too much, but I do look at the news I think far too frequently during the day. We’re carried away by distractions – that happens. Have any of you had experience going into a retreat? How do you deal with that?
Participant: I once did a one-month retreat, but, to be sincere, I couldn’t really dedicate more than maybe three hours a day to meditation; in the rest of the time I just wanted to relax or to read. Actually, I did a lot of reading about Dharma.
Dr Berzin: Well, it’s difficult to be so intense, I must say. I did quite a lot of retreats, but I did them according to my teacher’s instructions, which is an optional way of doing it. It wasn’t like I did an all-day retreat, but what I did was a long session in the morning, a long session at night and during the day I continued my usual activities and told nobody that I was doing a retreat. For me, that suited me quite okay. That’s the official sort of tantric deity type of retreats, the mantra retreats. Other retreats that I’ve done have been primarily working retreats and that would be basically writing most of the time, writing or doing a little bit of other meditation practice where I was away from the internet, from email. I mean, for me that’s a big prerequisite for a retreat. What sort of defines it almost is being away from the internet and email, because I get such an unbelievable amount of email every day. That occupies me quite a bit, plus telephone and all this sort of things. In that situation, especially when I’ve done that type of study and practice – I mean writing and practice, usually working on a translation – I have done that with someone else who is quite enthusiastic, so that helps, at least I found in myself. But doing a larger-group retreat – that I find is very distracting. I think everybody has to see for themselves whether retreat works best alone, with just one other person, or with a group.
Anybody else who has retreat experience? Even if there is a strict schedule in a group retreat – from this hour to this hour you have to sit there – it’s so easy to spend most of that time with mental wandering, not really doing the practice – that can certainly be the case. The Tibetans do retreats by themselves. The only time when they do a group type of retreat is when they don’t have the money to be able to do it themselves, like in India in the early days. Then a few monks would get together and do a retreat so they could pool their resources in terms of food and so on. But you develop a great deal of discipline, of course, if you do it yourself – if you can maintain that discipline. As I said, I have only had experience really doing retreat either by myself or with one other person and that usually worked. Whereas group retreats, I personally don’t like other people setting the speed. You get distracted by other people setting the speed of doing things either too quickly or too slowly – this type of thing, especially if it’s doing something out loud. Anyway, the point is that we have to try not to be so hypocritical. If we’re going to go to into retreat or become a monastic, a monk or a nun, then the point is to dedicate ourselves to that endeavor and not run off into town and not spend all our time drinking tea in teashops and chatting; and, in meditation, not spending all our time mentally wandering; or, in writing, not spending all our time with the internet and surfing. Again, that’s I think based on thinking of a strong “me” that needs entertainment.
Using Prognostication Methods
Then the second part of this verse: “We’ve requested hallowed Dharma and the spiritual sciences but then nurtured (others) with prognostications with dice.” We’ve requested from our teachers the teachings of the Dharma and the spiritual sciences. Spiritual sciences are basically the Dharma methods referring to internal methods for being able to help others. We have wanted to learn, and we’ve requested and presumably received teachings on all the Dharma methods to be able to help others, but then what do we actually rely on to help them? We rely, here it says, on the Tibetan system of mo – prognostication with dice, just throwing the dice and giving advice in terms of what comes up with the dice. If we don’t know mo, we could certainly substitute this here with astrology, we could substitute it with the I Ching, or numerology – any of these sorts of prognostication methods – and use those to be able to help others.
Now, that becomes a very tricky point because when you look at so many of the great lamas, they certainly do mos with dice. Tibetans are quite into that. What’s that all about? Well, you could say in terms of our verse here, that, thinking of this concept of the solid “me,” if we’re not sure of ourselves – “I’ve got to come up with a correct answer” or something like that – then we could turn to throwing the dice, in a sense, because it almost takes away responsibility from ourselves. “Well, this is what the dice said” or,”This is what the astrology chart said” or, “This is what the I Ching said, so that can happen.” But certainly astrology, I Ching and mo as well are not 100 percent accurate. I certainly have had experience in which they’re not accurate; in some cases, they are accurate. The same thing with astrology.
So why do lamas turn to mo? That’s a good question. There’re some lamas who use them all the time, tremendously, every day for every single decision and there are others who use them very rarely. There’re some who use them in Tibetan society, like the old Serkong Rinpoche. When Tibetans came to him and asked for mos, he did them because this was in a sense expected of him and this is part Tibetan society and culture. But he never really liked them very much. The new Serkong Rinpoche as well has very little interest in mo, although he will do them if some Tibetan really asks. The point that Serkong Rinpoche used to make, at least to me, was that a mo is really only to be relied on or to be turned to when you don’t have any other way of making a decision about something. For instance, if somebody is sick, or you’re sick and you don’t know which type of medicine would be most effective for it, given the fact that Indian medicine (that would be ayurvedic medicine) and Tibetan medicine and Chinese acupuncture and Western medicine might all be equally able to deal with the problem.
There are certain problems that obviously only Western medicine can deal with and there’re other problems that only Tibetan medicine can deal with. If you’re in a car accident and are injured, you want to turn to Western medical treatment. If you have something like rheumatism or hepatitis that the Western medicine is not terribly good at, you want to turn to Tibetan medicine, which is well known as being good for that. But if there is an equal possibility of all of these medicines working, then a mo might be called for; mo might be helpful to give an indication of what to try. I was having difficulty with my rent in India – it was a small little shack that I was renting, and the owner had died and it was unclear who the rent should be paid to. There was the Indian local government that was saying that we should pay to them, but other Indians who were also renting shacks from the same owner weren’t paying to the government because they said this really was unsettled, so I didn’t know what to do. I went to Serkong Rinpoche and asked him for a mo; I very rarely asked him for a mo because I knew he didn’t like to do them, but I went and asked him and he said, “Why are you asking me for a mo? Go see a lawyer.” So, if it’s a situation in which the Dharma can give a solution, then you turn to the Dharma – you rely on the Dharma and your knowledge and experience of the Dharma; and if it’s a situation in which you need a lawyer, you turn to the lawyer.
We’ve been saying in these verses here – in the last verse and this verse – that it’s important to understand the importance of the Dharma and appreciate the importance of the Dharma in our life in terms of these being real solutions that we are convinced work. It’s not just based on believing in some teachings of some cult, because there are many cults, many systems of belief, that say they can provide all the answers. If we have faith in that, then the same verses would apply here, wouldn’t they? But here in Buddhism, entrusting ourselves to Buddha, Dharma and Sangha is based on a tremendous amount of examination and understanding of what that actually entails. This basically getting rid of our suffering by getting rid of our misconceptions about how we exist and then actually examining how we exist with logic, to become convinced that the Buddhist explanation is correct – not just believing something. You read these verses and you could substitute Buddhism here with some weird beliefs of some fanatic cult and this is not what’s indicated here, that’s not what’s meant. So, again it comes down to how well have we really thought about refuge and how well have we really thought about voidness – particularly voidness of the self, that we don’t exist in impossible ways? Voidness is an absence of existing in impossible ways. These impossible ways are just that, they’re impossible. When we’re not thinking in terms of that voidness, when we don’t understand this misconception about the self, then, on the basis of thinking of a very solid “me,” we could turn to any cult, couldn’t we? Any cult that says, “We offer you the solution, just follow us.”
What do you think about that? Why don’t we take a few moments to think about that, or maybe you have some comments. The real question that lies behind this is, are you approaching Buddhism and the Dharma and refuge with the mentality of a cult – that you just believe. We do need a certain amount of skepticism – Buddha himself recommended that, to test everything out.
In terms of astrology and I Ching, I like astrology and I Ching very much and there were periods in my life in which I have relied on that quite a lot. I remember once I was staying with a friend and also looking at the astrology and I Ching very frequently and my friend pointed out to me – and he was absolutely correct – that why am I looking so much at the astrology and the I Ching. It’s because of wanting to be in control; it’s really a control freak mentality that you want to know what’s going to happen so that I, this big solid “me,” am in control. Whereas if you’re not turning to this, if you’re not always looking to it – like the crystal ball of what’s going to happen – but you just deal with life in terms of karma and so on, that is less into this control freak mentality. The point is, what drives you to want to throw the dice, or throw the coins for the I Ching, or look up the chart? What drives you is the wish to be in control – a big solid “me” – to be in control and to know what’s going to happen so that I can be prepared.
That’s ego-grasping – that’s what the verse is talking about. I still do occasionally look at astrology and I Ching. I look at astrology in terms of meeting people or in terms of myself, in order to – let’s say with new people that I meet that I feel some sort of karmic connection to – get a confirmation of that. I always compare two charts – that person’s chart and my chart. I’ve worked over the years to trust my so-called intuition with people, but a chart gives some indication of which areas are in harmony and which areas are possible areas of conflict, so I have some indication of what to avoid. Now again, that’s a bit of an ego trip, a control trip, but I found it a little bit helpful. Also, if somebody is acting, especially if they’re acting very distant and withdrawn, then often I’ll take a look at the astrology thing to give me some indication that, okay, this is going on from an astrological point of view and it confirms the way the person is acting. It helps to remind me of impermanence and how so many different factors influence what’s going on: not that the stars and planets are influencing what’s going on; they’re more like a mirror of a karmic situation. But one has to really watch out for the control trip freak. The control trip extreme is basically an ego trip of wanting to know what’s going and being in control, based on the solid “me.
In terms of making decisions and so on, we also need to take into account our own past history and our experience and this is certainly true. There is a big difference – we’ve said this over and again – between the false “me” and the conventional “me.” The conventional, existent “me” is one that has history and can be mentally labeled on their whole sequence of history. We can certainly learn from our previous experience and, based on that, make decisions while also taking into consideration what the Dharma teaches. That’s not contradictory with what we’ve been saying and it’s important. Thank you for underlying that in this whole discussion of the concept of the false “me,” the inflated “me,” we’re not saying that there is no such thing as me. There is me, there is the me that takes responsibility for our life and that experience is the result of our karma. But that me is not something which is a separate entity from everything that’s happening; it’s not the boss or the controller.
This “me” is not perfect; it’s one that makes mistakes, of course. It’s not a self-existing “me” that makes mistakes. If you look at the sequence of our experiences, those sequences will include mistakes. So, we can label “me” on the sequence of mistakes and not-mistakes. It’s a matter of how we understand the “me” in relation to the mistakes. It’s not that there is a “me” who has faults and, “I’m no good and I’m stupid and guilty,” and so on. You have to be careful to avoid that extreme.
Discarding Ethical Discipline
Let’s continue with the verse 72 in the poetical old version:
We give up monk’s vows, the true path to gain freedom; we would rather be married, have children and homes. We cast to the wind this rare chance to be happy and pursue further suffering, more problems and woes. Trample him, trample him, dance on the head of this treacherous concept of selfish concern. Tear out the heart of this self-centered butcher who slaughters our chance to gain final release.
Then in the literal translation (verse 71):
We’ve discarded our ethical discipline (as homeless monastics) – the path to liberation – and then grasped onto a home. We’ve thrown joy and happiness into the river and then run after woes. Crash, really crash down, right on the head of (this) ruinous concept! Deal the death blow to the heart of this butcher, a “true self,” our foe.
Again, this verse is referring to this similar type of problem in which we start off with entrusting ourselves – here it’s to becoming a monastic, to becoming a monk or a nun – but then we become impatient and we give that up in terms of thinking of “me:” “Poor me, I’m missing having a family, I’m missing having a sexual partner, I’m missing having children, I’m missing having a home” – all these sorts of things. So, we give that up, which was a path to liberation and then grasp on to home and all the things that go with that – the mortgage, etc. This is a case in which as it says, “We’ve thrown joy and happiness into the river.” We’ve thrown that away and then just run after more woes, more worries, more worldly problems and worldly entanglements. This not only pertains to, I think, when we are monastics and we give up our monk’s or nun’s vows, but it also comes up in our practice. We might be devoting ourselves to a lot of study, a lot of meditation, a lot of retreats – this sort of things – and maybe going to India and Nepal, spending time there and then the big solid “me, “ that concept of a big solid “me” comes up and says, “Oh, but I’m missing having all my music and my friends and going to parties.” I mean, mind you, you have parties in India, but it’s not quite the same. “I’m missing all these things – having a partner, a family, all of that,” and so then we give up either in full or in part our spiritual journey and go after these other things.
What’s the result? The result usually is that we don’t find eternal lasting happiness there, but more and more problems, difficulties. We may be happy for a little while, but in many cases the partnership ends up in a divorce, the financial responsibility becomes huge, all these sorts of things. We think we’d like to have a home and so then we buy a house and we have a mortgage and you have to have a car and then you owe money on that and it just goes on and on and on; and then you’re in terrible debt and then it becomes very difficult to devote yourself to full time Dharma life. Now, some people might say that to devote yourself to a full time Dharma life is very impractical. How are you going to live, how are you going to support yourself? But there’re always some ways and there’re always ways of making enough money in a not so consuming type of way.
I know one friend who has been living in India for about almost thirty years, I would think, in Dharamsala and he supports himself and his family. His parents supported him in the beginning, but now he supports himself by leading treks in the mountains behind Dharamsala. It’s not a full-time career, it’s not a mortgage and a car and all of that kind of stuff that has to pay off, but he’s able to support himself. So, there’re many ways in which we can go about leading a fairly full-time Dharma life, but you sacrifice something. I mean, some people are able to not necessarily sacrifice a family and a home and so on. Here it’s not speaking specifically about a family, but it is speaking about wanting to have a settled type of Western life, in a sense.
A lot depends on, even if we have the material welfare, how much are we involved in the necessities of our daily life, I suppose – as Shantideva would say, being the servant of this body and having constantly to take care of it and take care of the house and take care of the food and take care of all the things that are associated with being the servant of this body. It’s amazing how much time could be taken up by that and how much mental energy as well. Are we going to spend all our time and energy on that, or spend more time with actually training ourselves? Now, obviously, you can transform daily activities so that when you’re sweeping, for instance – I mean, that’s the classic example that Buddha used: when you sweep, think, “I’m sweeping away the obscurations and the obstacles and the confusion, all the dirt in my mind,” and so on. And when we’re cleaning things, think, “I’m polishing my understanding” – this type of things; when we’re cooking, wish that may all beings have such wonderful food, may I provide food for everybody. There are Mahayana ways of transforming these actions, of course.
Dedication
Let’s end then with the dedication. We think whatever understanding, whatever positive force has come from this, may it go deeper and deeper and act as a course for reaching enlightenment for the benefit of all.