Recap
We’ve been studying the text The Wheel of Sharp Weapons or Throwing Star Weapon by Dharmarakshita. This is a Mahayana attitude training text that is talking about basically overcoming the source of our difficulties in life, the source of our uncontrollably recurring rebirth. This is on one level our self-cherishing attitude: thinking only of ourselves, only trying to gain the advantage and benefit of ourselves. This self-cherishing attitude then causes us to act in all sorts of greedy ways and we get angry with others and so on and causes us to act in all sorts of destructive types of ways that bring about karmic consequences. The text, in the first part, spoke about the different types of negative karmic things that we experience. It points out what the causes for those have been and then indicates a way to change our behavior so that we can overcome the selfishness that’s behind it. The practice that’s done with that is not only to resolve to change our behavior and stop acting in a self-cherishing way, but also to practice the tonglen method of taking on the sufferings of others, the problems of others, because the problems that we face are the problems that everybody faces. So, it’s not just our problem, it’s everybody’s problem. We take responsibility to try to bring about a solution for everybody and offer that solution to everybody.
Somebody who does this with the aim of reaching enlightenment to be able to really do this, to benefit all others in the fullest way possible, is a bodhisattva. Somebody asked, are there bodhisattvas? Yes, there is such a thing as a bodhisattva. A bodhisattva is somebody with bodhichitta which is unlabored, which means that they are so trained in developing this bodhichitta aim that it’s something which comes automatically to them. Bodhichitta aim is aiming at our own future enlightenment, which we haven’t attained yet but which we are able to attain on the basis of Buddha-nature. So, we are aiming for our own specific individual future enlightenment. The reason for doing that is love and compassion and taking responsibility to actually help others all the way to liberation and enlightenment; with conviction that it is possible to actually reach that enlightenment and with the intention that when we reach that enlightenment, what we’ll be doing is benefiting others as much as we can. That is what a bodhisattva is; and a bodhisattva trains along this path and practices these types of methods that are discussed here in the attitude training.
The second part of the text, which is what we are discussing now, is dealing with the problem that underlies self-cherishing. That is the grasping for a solid “me,” what’s called the “true self” – what we think is the “true self,” which actually doesn’t exist at all, it’s false. It’s an independently existing “me” that is established all by itself – independent of body and mind and emotions and things like that – which we feel is the center of the universe. Therefore, on the basis of believing that we exist in this way as some solid thing that lives inside our body or our mind and uses it like some sort of machine, then we have self-cherishing and selfishness. The way in which we can recognize this type of what we think is the “true me” would be, for example, in situations in which we say, “I want somebody to love me for me, for just me, for who I am rather than love me for my possessions, or my body, or my intellect, or my money” – something like that – “I want them to love me for me,” as if there were a “me” that existed independently of all these things, which obviously it doesn’t. “Me” is what can be imputed or labeled on the basis of all these various aspects of body, mind, emotions, what we do, our possessions, our actions and so on.
In order to overcome this grasping for a solid “me,” what the text points out in verse after verse is how we strive for certain positive things, but this self-grasping jeopardizes that,. and we don’t accomplish what we want. So, we need to smash our belief in this concept – of this “true self,” this solid “me” – and in order to get the strength to be able to smash through this misconception, we invoke the image of Yamantaka. Yamantaka is the forceful aspect of Manjushri, which is the representation of the clarity of mind, the wisdom, the discriminating awareness of all the Buddhas, that’s able to discriminate what actually does exist from what doesn’t exist. We need a very strong type of energy to smash through these misconceptions. There are basically two extremes that we need to dispel: one extreme is that there is a solid “me” that truly exists independently of everything else, all by itself as if it were encapsulated in plastic; and the other is the belief in total non-existence. Buddhism does not assert non-existence, that things don’t exist at all; it’s not a nihilist position – that is a completely false view. What Buddhism is saying is that certain ways of existing are impossible and these impossible ways don’t exist. But there is, of course, the conventional existence of emotions and feelings and actions and “me” – but everything arises dependently on causes and conditions and parts and labels and so on. So, we need this strong force of Yamantaka to smash through the belief or misconception that there is a solid “me” or the misconception that there is no “me” at all, that nothing exists. Because if we believe that nothing exists, then we can do anything because it doesn’t matter, we also believe there is no cause and effect, so there is no effect of our behavior and that is a seriously dangerous wrong view to hold – not at all the Buddhist view.
Expecting Attainments without Work on the Spiritual Path
Let us return to the text. We are up to verse 76 in the old poetical version of a translation that I have done back in 1976, so a long time ago; and in the new translation, verse 75.
In the poetical version, verse 76 is:
It’s amazing how little endurance we have to do meditation and yet we pretend to have gained special powers so others are fooled. We never catch up with the paths of deep wisdom, yet run here and there in needless great haste. Trample him, trample him, dance on the head of this treacherous concept of selfish concern. Tear out the heart of this self-centered butcher who slaughters our chance to gain final release.
In the more literal translation, verse 75:
Wow! Our fortitude for meditation is little, yet (we expect) our advanced awareness to be sharp. We’ve not taken the first step of the spiritual path, yet our legs are rushing after meaningless things. Crash, really crash down, right on the head of (this) ruinous concept! Deal the death blow to the heart of this butcher, a “true self,” our foe.
This is referring to the fact that we try to do meditation, but we don’t stick with it. We have very little endurance, or fortitude, or strength to really pursue meditation and yet we expect that we’re going to gain all sorts of special powers of heightened awareness – to be able to read other people’s minds and all sorts of things like that. We expect that we’re going to get some fantastic, sharp level of that; in other words, we expect to get results from meditation very easily without actually doing a lot of work, but it’s not going to happen. This is just a fantasy that we’re going to get these various attainments and achievements from meditation, whether we speak of extrasensory perception or we speak of having less anger and more patience, more concentration and so on. These things don’t come easily and especially if we don’t really have a lot of energy to pursue meditation practice consistently, day after day with a great deal of serious effort, then of course we’re not going to get any results.
That’s why it’s very important, when doing meditation, to set a very strong intention before we start – that during the session, for whatever length of time we decide to meditate, I’m going to try to not have my mind mentally wander; and if my mind wanders away I’m going to bring it back; and if I get sleepy, I’m going to try to wake myself up. This is a very, very important thing to do before we meditate, because it’s very easy to just sit down and start our meditation practice and almost instantly start to mentally wander and think about other things. There is one method that one of my teachers suggested; he said that – I’m sure this comes from an ancient source, but I don’t recall what the source is – the mind is like a wild horse. If you put the wild horse inside a fenced coral, then the horse is going to run around and run around and go crazy, but if you let the horse just run in an open field, then eventually the horse will quiet down and stop. So, this method suggests that when we sit down to meditate, we say, “Okay, mind, I’ll give you two or three minutes.” I mean, obviously, this is a silly way of speaking – it’s not as though there’s a “me” separate from the mind – but. in any case, we say, “Okay, now I’m going to just think about whatever I want to think about,” because often we don’t really give ourselves the time to just sit down and think. We’re listening to music on our iPod constantly, the entire day, or having the television on, or constantly instant-messaging and talking to each other; God forbid we take a moment out to actually think about anything. So, we could, when we sit down to meditate, just start by giving ourselves that space to just let the mind think and usually what happens is that you can’t think of anything to think about and then set the intention: “Okay, now I’m going to actually meditate and if my mind wanders, I’ll bring it back.”
Actually, it always is recommended, before we sit down to do meditation, to do at least three prostrations, but obviously we could do more. There’re are also various breathing exercises that we can do before meditating – focusing on the breath the way that we do here is very good. There are more complicated breathing exercises that one can learn, and all of this helps very much. Also, it’s good to keep the meditation session short, especially in the beginning, because if it’s too long, then it’s hopeless that we’re going to be able to be concentrate through the whole thing. So, we need to be able to start with a reasonably short period of time so that we are able to have good-quality meditation rather than quantity. The quality is far more important than the quantity, because once you get into a bad habit of using your meditation session to mentally wander and daydream, it’s very hard to break that habit – very hard. It’s amazing how, even if you’re doing a recitation type of practice, a ritual type of practice, even while reciting something or reading something you are quite capable of mentally wandering about something else. I mean, just sort of either stopping right in the middle of a sentence and thinking about something else or somehow fitting in another thought at the same time and so you’re just sort of going “blah blah blah” – your eyes are going through the words, or your mouth is going through the words, but you’re actually thinking about something else. This is not very good quality meditation.
Unfortunately, meditation is hard work and as a friend of mine reminded me today when speaking about their work situation, “work is work,” and so we can’t expect to gain various attainments through meditation cheaply as a bargain on sale. It doesn’t work like that. If we expect to get attainments cheaply, then that’s based on thinking in terms of that solid “me:” “I have to have it and, if I don’t have it, then I’m going to complain” and this type of thing. What happens is that we misconceive not only of ourselves as a solid “me,” but we also misconceive of what we’re trying to achieve. We make a big solid thing about that and then we have these hopes and expectations and when they’re not fulfilled, then we have disappointment. Almost every meditation manual has the advice: “Meditate without hopes and expectations and without disappointments;” just do it – just continue to put in the hard work.
We have this line: “Our fortitude for meditation is little, yet (we expect) our advanced awareness to be sharp.” The words “we expect” – that’s not actually in the text and so the verse can be understood in several ways. That’s the most common way of understanding it, but another way of understanding the verse is to say that we pretend that our heightened awareness is sharp. In other words, we have done very little meditation, but we go around very proudly and pretend that we’ve gained all sorts of extrasensory powers and so on. That, obviously, is absurd; we’re just then meditating to show off. Or we also can understand this as we announce that our heightened awareness is sharp, which would be that again we want to show off. Even if we have attained something, you don’t go around announcing it; that is the worst thing that one can do in terms of bringing about obstacles and hindrances and so on.
One doesn’t want to make a big deal out of anything that one achieves with meditation. If you make a big deal out of it, you usually destroy it because you are having attachment to it. This is especially true if you gain from meditation a heightened state of happiness, or clarity of mind, or starkness of mind. These things are described in some of the meditation texts as causes for be born in the various god realms: in the desire realm from attachment to the sense of happiness you get from meditation; or the form realm, if you’re attached to the clarity; or the formless realm, if you’re attached to the bareness of the mind in this state. So, one has to be very careful with meditation. But basically, put in the hard work; don’t pretend that you’ve attained anything and if you haven’t, and even if you have attained something, don’t make a big deal out of it. That’s very important.
Let’s take a moment just to reflect on our own attitude toward meditation. Also, do we expect to gain attainments and accomplish something with Buddhism without meditating? What actually is our attitude toward meditation? This is quite important to analyze, to take a sincere look at.
The second part of the verse is: “We’ve not taken the first step of the spiritual path, yet our legs are rushing after meaningless things.” In other words, we say on the surface that we’re following a spiritual path – we’re following, in this case, the Buddhist path – but we haven’t actually taken any steps in that direction. To actually take steps in that direction means that we really work on transforming ourselves, not just reciting rituals and not just doing things in a very superficial way – wearing a red string around our neck and having a Tibetan name – but that we actually do something significant to work on our personalities and overcome our shortcomings. But instead “our legs are rushing after meaningless things.” We rush around: we go to India for some sort of spiritual journey, and you spend all your time running around to concerts, or running around to parties, or sightseeing, or things like this. Or, I think, it could refer to just running after very superficial things in terms of the Dharma – trying to collect as many initiations as possible even though you don’t do any practice whatsoever of any of them; you’re just in a sense collecting them or collecting red strings – this type of thing. We run after the superficial aspects of the Dharma and don’t really try to follow it as a spiritual path. To take the Dharma as an actual path, you have to follow the four Dharmas of Gampopa, which are to turn the mind to the Dharma and then actually take the Dharma as a spiritual path, as a pathway of thinking; to do something with it, to change our minds, to improve our minds. That’s what this verse is talking about.
Again, we have to examine, what really are we doing when we say that we’re following the Buddhist path? How willing are we to actually change ourselves, to work on our personalities? It requires a great deal of courage. If we aren’t willing to do it, then why not? Because we think of a solid, permanent, static “me” that doesn’t want to be changed or it feels threatened and afraid that somehow Buddhism is going to damage it. I think this aspect of working on ourselves is the first step – that’s the most significant step within Buddhism. Buddhism, of course, does think in terms of not just this life but recurring life – what’s called rebirth or incarnation – in which a individual mental continuum goes on from lifetime to lifetime. There is nothing solid that goes on from lifetime to lifetime, but we experience the effects of our behavior – cause and effect. We want to overcome the shortcomings and difficulties that we have based on ignorance, unawareness, confusion – not only in terms of overcoming the effects that they have in this lifetime, but the effects that we’ll continue to experience from lifetime to lifetime and our building up more and more karma, as it’s called; that’s just going to produce more problems for not only ourselves but for everybody else.
It’s not very easy, because in order to work on our shortcomings, we first have to recognize and identify them and that’s very difficult because we tend to live in self-deception. We don’t really want to look at our shortcomings, so it’s quite difficult to actually recognize what they are. You need other people to point it out or mirror it and this is not so easy to do. What’s difficult to identify is how our different shortcomings cause our problems and how to prioritize what to work on first. I think what we really have to examine is our destructive behavior first and then what is the motivation of that destructive behavior.
Of course, there are many different schools of Buddhism: there is the Theravada approach, there is the Zen approach, there is the Mahayana approach and each of them have their own way of dealing with overcoming the various shortcomings that we have. Although it might appear that some are simpler than others, if we look in depth at the various schools of Buddhist practice – whether Zen, Theravada, or the Tibetan Mahayana system – they all are rather complex. In many ways, one could say that the system that the Tibetans follow is the most complex and that’s probably because it’s the fullest; it preserves the full development of Indian Buddhism. But as His Holiness says, the mind is very complex, we’re very complex and so you can’t expect that some simple thing is going to be able to remedy the problems in something which is very, very complex. So, if we want to be able to deal with all the complexities of the mind, we need a comprehensive system that enables us to actually analyze and understand all the different emotions, all the different misunderstandings that we might have and offer a wide variety of methods for dealing with it so that they can suit many different individuals. It’s not as though we can just have one practice and one way of doing things that’s going to suit everybody and fit everybody – that’s a bit unreasonable. That’s why you need a teacher. But again, there are teachers of so many traditions. We need to find a teacher who suits us, and this is not so easy to do.
One of our friends here whom I know personally is a newspaper junkie asks, what about reading newspapers? Is that destructive? Is it a distraction? Isn’t it beneficial to keep informed about what’s going on so we can become a good citizen and so on? Again, I think that in the Buddhist teachings, following a middle path is always recommended in this sort of situations. I think it’s important to know what’s going on in the world and in our society, because we live in that society; otherwise, we can’t really help others, if we don’t know what they’re experiencing and what are the factors that are affecting them. So, certainly that is important to know, but we can certainly use newspapers and so on as a distraction. I find it with myself: I don’t read newspapers but I look at the news on the internet and anytime that I feel a little bit bored with my writing or whatever I’m doing with my work on the computer, it’s very easy to just click a button and look at the news yet again, in case there’ll be something interesting. This is the point: are we looking at the news just to find something entertaining and interesting, like surfing through the channels of the television, or are we looking at it specifically with the purpose of knowing what’s going on and then shutting it (so a middle path)? What is the motivation?
Well, we could gain a lot of bodhichitta and compassion by reading the bad news about all the murders and rapes, all the killings that are going on in the Middle East and so on. Sure, it could help us to develop compassion, but I think you need to be quite strong because it can also help us to develop depression. You need a little bit of space. But on the other hand, you should not be totally in an idealistic world where everything is so wonderful, because there is actually an awful lot of people suffering on this planet.
We receive information in many ways, not just from newspapers and television but also when we’re outside on the bus, for example, you receive information in terms of the expression on people’s faces and how they’re acting; and, of course, by speaking to other people you receive information. But I think you also receive information from the whole tension in the environment. It’s very interesting, if you look at bodhisattva practice – the way that it is explained. It says in the Thirty-seven Bodhisattva Practices that when you are distracted and drawn here and there, living in your homeland, from attachment to friends and arguments with people – and in this case the violence and so on – it’s best to leave your homeland and go into seclusion, into retreat, so that you build up strength. But the point is that once you’ve built up strength, then where are the advanced meditators supposed to meditate? In ancient India, this was at the crossroads where there is the most traffic; in the places where they’re cremating bodies, which is very scary and everybody’s crying and so on. Then they need to go back, when they have the strength, to deal with these very extreme situations, because that’s how you go even further. One has to be flexible and set certain limits in terms of where we are – our own inner strength – but I think it’s important not to remain totally naive, because we have to deal with people who are living in the environment in which we’re living.
So that was our verse: “Wow! Our fortitude for meditation is little” – the text is filled with these onomatopoetic words like “wow” and “baam” and “smash.” It has all sorts of words like that, which is what identifies it as being probably written in Tibet and not in India.
Wow! Our fortitude for meditation is little, yet (we expect) our advanced awareness to be sharp. We’ve not taken the first step of the spiritual path, yet our legs are rushing after meaningless things. Crash, really crash down, right on the head of (this) ruinous concept! Deal the death blow to the heart of this butcher, a “true self,” our foe.
Getting Confused between Friends and Foes
The next verse in the old more poetical translation, verse 77:
Someone gives us advice from the depth of his heart, which is for our own good, but is harsh to our ears and with anger we view him as if he’s our foe. Yet when someone without any true feelings for us deceitfully tells us what we like to hear, without taste or discernment we are kind in return. Trample him, trample him, dance on the head of this treacherous concept of selfish concern. Tear out the heart of this self-centered butcher who slaughters our chance to gain final release.
In the literal translation, verse 76:
We’re given advice for our benefit and then, with angry minds, take (the persons) as foes. We’re fooled by deceitful (flattery) and then, without a brain, we repay their kindness. Crash, really crash down, right on the head of (this) ruinous concept! Deal the death blow to the heart of this butcher, a “true self,” our foe.
This is speaking about a situation in which people give us advice, or they point out certain things that are shortcomings and we get very upset, and we don’t take criticism – even constructive criticism – and we think, “You don’t love me,” “You are my enemy.” And yet when somebody just basically flatters us, being not honest and saying, “Oh it’s so wonderful” and so on, then we – “without a brain,” it says – don’t even think about whether what they say is true or not, but we’re so kind to them in return. It’s like when you write something, let’s say a paper for a college and you give it to the teacher or to a friend to read. If they were to point out, “Well, your argument isn’t good and it’s not clear and you’ve repeated yourself,” you just get very angry and upset with them. Whereas if somebody said, “Oh, that’s just so nice,” even though what we wrote is ridiculous, then we’re very happy.
Basically, you just want flattery and any criticism you take personally and consider the other person my enemy: “They don’t love me anymore.” That’s a difficult one, especially with friends. The example that I’m thinking of is when we want something and the other person, or friend, or partner, says no, or sets limitations. How do we respond to that? We think, “You don’t love me,” don’t we? That’s not quite criticism but, in a sense, it is criticism: “What you’re asking is not what I’m going to agree to” – whatever it is that we’re asking. If they give in and do what we want, then we’re happy – “I won” – even though they might not be very happy to do what we are suggesting. So, again it is this big “me,” the concept of the big “me,” behind all of this: “I want to be praised and I want to be agreed to, and if I’m not, that means that they don’t love me,” and I get very upset and very angry. We’re worried about this big “me” that needs to be loved and approved of. This is a difficult thing.
Also, it’s dealing with an emotional level. If our friend sets limitations or says no, we might intellectually agree with them and say, “Yes I understand, in fact what I’m asking is a bit too much,” but inside we still feel hurt. It’s at least better to acknowledge that, in fact, what I was asking is a bit much and in fact I understand your position. This is getting far from the verse, but there are situations, of course, in which the other person’s refusal is based really on their disturbing emotions and what we’re asking is not too much. So, again you have to discriminate what’s appropriate and what is inappropriate. But this whole issue of people pointing out our faults, whether they’re true or not – I forget in which of the other lojong texts this is, that if somebody points out faults, even if they are not correct, we need to examine ourselves to see: do I have that fault or not? Maybe we don’t have the fault, but it is helpful to examine ourselves honestly: do I have it or not? It keeps us more alert and mindful about how we’re behaving with others.
Let’s examine and think a little bit about this verse before we end our class today.
We’re given advice for our benefit and then, with angry minds, take (the persons) as foes. We’re fooled by deceitful (flattery) and then, without a brain, we repay their kindness. Crash, really crash down, right on the head of (this) ruinous concept! Deal the death blow to the heart of this butcher, a “true self,” our foe.
Dedication
Let’s end with the dedication: we think whatever positive force, whatever understanding has come from this, may it go deeper and deeper and act as a cause for not only us but everybody being able to reach enlightenment for the benefit of all.